December 04, 2004


If you want to know total humiliation, try being introduced as "Australia’s best-known blogger" before an audience of young leftists who've never heard of you. It's quite a feeling, especially when you're twice the age of most people in the room, and evidently the only one who has mastered ironing.

I kid! Last night's Brisbane literature/culture/art fest deal was a ton of fun, what with many angry youths delivering injustice-fuelled rants that I (with others) was called upon to judge. Only once was I threatened with actual violence, after deducting points from a Salvadoran contestant due to what I perceived as her nation's inefficient work practices. No fifty cents per hour for you, girly!

Apologies to Brisbane blogger Darlene Taylor, who I accidentally avoided meeting. I hate when things like that happen. Funnest moment of the evening -- aside from the remarkable politeness and affection from nose-pierced political foes -- was being introduced to Wayne Sanderson, a permanent antagonist who turned out to be utterly charming in person. Yet also determinedly antagonistic. Not an easy combination to achieve.

Okay. Paul Bickford, God bless his evil-soaked heart, has arranged a drinks thing today following an afternoon chat about something or other. Hit the link for details.

Posted by Tim Blair at December 4, 2004 03:59 AM

Paul Bickford ? Call security ! How about some images ?

Posted by: jafa at December 4, 2004 at 04:24 AM

What do you mean by "today"? The link clearly says Saturday. Today is Friday.

And stop walking on the ceiling!

Posted by: Joe Geoghegan at December 4, 2004 at 04:26 AM afternoon chat about something or other.

i.e. Speakers will discuss the past but focus on the future - what should be different in 10 years time and why?

Tim, kick off with the demise of V8 donks and leaded fuel, before reassuring them with your proposed smoke-easys. Then quietly slip away in the ensuing uproar to Bickford's piss-up.

Posted by: jafa at December 4, 2004 at 04:52 AM

I have never seen Brisbane referred to a "Bris" before. Up until now, the only meaning I knew for the word "Bris" was "Jewish ceremonial circumcision". I was somewhat confused by the title of your post at first...

Posted by: Ash at December 4, 2004 at 05:04 AM

Ash - my thoughts exactly. That title was even more confusing than Tim's nature posts on crickets.

Posted by: Independent George at December 4, 2004 at 05:45 AM

Nah, I liked the last thread better...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 4, 2004 at 06:14 AM

and evidently the only one who has mastered ironing.

Is this a new sport?

Posted by: Roger Bournival at December 4, 2004 at 06:24 AM

Probably some Australian term for golf, Roger.

Posted by: goldsmith at December 4, 2004 at 06:42 AM

Remember to vote for Tim at for best Australian Blog!
You can (and therefore should) vote once a day!

Posted by: jorgen at December 4, 2004 at 07:11 AM

Shoot, Ash, that was going to be my joke.

Hey, Tim, did they tell you the joke about why mohels are always rich?

Posted by: Angie Schultz at December 4, 2004 at 08:52 AM

Was chemical margo there?

Posted by: Jonny at December 4, 2004 at 09:02 AM

Is this a new sport?


Posted by: Evil Pundit at December 4, 2004 at 09:35 AM

In related news canemaster says bring Hicksie and Mumdoos Habibs

Posted by: AProf Shytononomous at December 4, 2004 at 10:21 AM


Is that like the one about the kosher steriods? Guaranteed to make a mountain out of a mohel?

Posted by: Cybrludite at December 4, 2004 at 04:05 PM

Cybrludite -- Nah. The mohels are so rich, you see, because they get to keep all the tips.


Posted by: Angie Schultz at December 4, 2004 at 04:18 PM

All is okay because I have encountered the man in person at a discussion about Howard and culture (I think that is what it was about, but at these forums you can't always tell). It was an entertaining and interesting afternoon and Mr Blair appears to be well-mannered and a gentleman (He was headed off to the pub after I think so that may have changed as the afternoon wore on). Nice to meet you, Tim.

Posted by: Darlene at December 4, 2004 at 04:47 PM

You may have mastered ironing, Tim, but what about irony?

Posted by: TimT at December 4, 2004 at 07:13 PM

I just removed two comments promoting some political message board from someone calling themselves "the real tim blair" and then "tim blair the second."

First: if you want to use Tim's blog to promote some website, either you or the website's owners are welcome to buy a Blogad, which will be shown in the sidebar menu. And second: kindly make some reference to the subject matter of the post you are commenting to or your comment will be deleted. No, simply saying "shameless plug" and then demonstrating that you are too stupid to be able to post a link correctly/use the Preview button does not count as contributing to the discussion.

And third, your "cute" use of tim's name in such a way is a troll tactic. I ban trolls. Kindly use either your real name or a nickname that indicates you are someone who isn't a troll, or I will ban your IP.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at December 5, 2004 at 03:33 AM

"...angry youths delivering injustice-fuelled rants that I (with others) was called upon to judge."

That actually sounds like a blast. It could be like American Idol ("American Leftist") or country of your choice. The youths could have at it, the audience would judge the best rant, and we would all go out for drinks with us older and wiser people. Could be therapeutic (for them).

Posted by: PJ at December 5, 2004 at 06:16 AM

Fellow bloggers *and* ironers were lurking in the audience on Friday night! Pictures have been posted.

Posted by: mc gregg at December 5, 2004 at 07:37 AM

In relation to Brisbane being referred to as "Bris" - from time to time columnists in our local newspaper refer to it as "Brisvegas".

I don't know why it started but I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posted by: john at December 5, 2004 at 11:26 AM

Seems to me it used to be called "Brizzie"

Posted by: jlchydro at December 5, 2004 at 03:12 PM

John, I refer to Andrew Stafford's book Pig City: from the Saints to Savage Garden for something of an explanation of the term Brisvegas.

"...born of a hick city that somehow managed to host a Commonwealth Games and a World Expo, that before a recession had featured its own brand of white-shoe entrepreneurs, that was only just emerging from the shadows of a corrupt government. Out of such contradictions, somewhere in the early 90s, the term Brisvegas came into popular usage. The term gave many of the city's occupants a chance to feel they truly owned their town for the first time".

Personally, I also thought the term was simply taking the piss on what a boring big country town Brisbane was in contrast to other cities like Sydney or Melbourne. Of course, as they tell you in Queensland Politics 101, the state used to be Australia's most regionalised and traditionally had a strong economic focus on rural industry.

That I have bothered to waffle on with all this indicates that Brisbane is still boring, and that Brisbanites are even duller. Indeed, it has been raining today so I have stayed in for a nap, a bit of a look on the computer (got to get off, I am becoming a geek), a bit of light reading and an early night.

Brisvegas away!

Posted by: Darlene at December 5, 2004 at 03:24 PM

I was in Brisbane 5 times last year and I found it be be a delightful and attractive city.

In additition, I note that there has not been one word of appreciation from Tim for those of us whokept the whole show going during his prolonged absence.

143 posts about nothing must be some kind of a record

Posted by: jlchydro at December 5, 2004 at 05:12 PM

>"143 posts about nothing must be some kind of a record"

Nah, 33 RPM is a record.

Posted by: jorgen at December 5, 2004 at 08:41 PM

It looks as though the Howard cultural legacy will include significantly enhanced engagement with South East Asia, constructive involvement with Pacific neighbours, consolidation of the US and British alliances, a historic turning point in Aboriginal affairs, real progress towards freedom of choice in industrial relations with the possibility of responsible and adult relationships between management and staff, return of sportsmanship in the Aussie cricket team, growing affection for the Collingwood football club, etc.

Will Paul Keating or Phillip Adams be the first to extend congratulations?

Posted by: Rafe Champion at December 5, 2004 at 08:44 PM