July 06, 2004


The former Mrs Latham knows where to hit her ex:

Ms Gwyther said last night that she had done the right thing by her ex-husband. But, she added, if "he wants to play ball, I will -- all gloves are off".

Please, Ms Gwyther! Hes only got one left.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 6, 2004 06:36 AM

Frankly, it's about time Latham admitted he's got a problem with alcohol. Gets pissed and king hits an old bloke. Gets pissed, jumps a cab and assults the driver. We even had Andrew Bartlett (another expert on violent drunkenness) weighing in on the matter. Let's see what else come out in the next few weeks.

Posted by: steve at July 6, 2004 at 08:38 AM

A unorchid in the garden. Eating roses.

``Here, unorchid,'' said the man, and he pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unorchid ate it gravely. With a high heart, beause there was a unorchid in his garden, the man went upstaris and roused his wife again...''

Posted by: Ron Hardin at July 6, 2004 at 09:14 AM

OOoooooh, Tim, that was *coooold*.

Posted by: Aaron at July 6, 2004 at 09:40 AM

Oh no, you're one of them. Look, we don't need another neo-con shlogging his way blissfully unaware of your gross ignorance. "Bush is so good for the country," "Cheney doesn't have a hand in Haliburton anymore," "Rumsfled is a humanitarian," "Ashcroft isn't psychotic," "Ann Coulter is sexy," "I wish I had man nutz to lick." I offer you my man nutz, so that you might lick them.

Posted by: Tobias at July 6, 2004 at 10:12 AM


Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 10:17 AM


Tobias is either stoned or trying to be deep (or both). As he has failed so badly at the latter I certainly hope the former is true. If not then this is just sad.

Posted by: David at July 6, 2004 at 10:33 AM

I've just never seen leftist crapthink so ... so ... incomprehensible.

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 11:13 AM

Hah! Who am I kidding? Send this dude to Margo.

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 11:14 AM

And Latham's lack of the full testicular complement is fair game because...? Oh, that's right, because he voluntarily took it off himself, through some Jackass-type stunt. Unlike Tony Staley, whose bodily disability it was really, really unfair for Latham to make fun of because Staley got that way looking after lepers on Molokai. Right?

Posted by: Uncle Milk at July 6, 2004 at 11:32 AM

Guys, the AGE and SMH are having a 'What you say' (did Margo write the heading again given the caveman grammar).

Go nuts. The left are practically dribbling into their caffe latte's over the alleged 'dirty tricks' campaign. A potent mix of lefty vitriol and finger pointing and quiet disillusionment that Lethal Latho may not be the Bill Clinton of Australian politics.

Back to interpreting Bob Brown policy for the left methinks. Latham's credibility is shot.

I give it two more weeks before Johnny has this election stiched up and won.

Posted by: French Wench at July 6, 2004 at 11:42 AM

"Oh no, [I'm] one of them."

Posted by: David [.net] at July 6, 2004 at 12:20 PM

"I've just never seen leftist crapthink so ... so ... incomprehensible."

Sotelli, you obviously don't read much leftist clapthink do you? Almost everything written by the left is, or borders on, the incomprehensible these days.

Posted by: David Crawford at July 6, 2004 at 12:28 PM

I cant believe that individuals pathological hatred of Howard can infect so many arguments given by some. Read the AGE posts, he is the devil incarnate,the scarlet pimpernel of politics, the prince machiavelli of manuka lol.

Posted by: nic at July 6, 2004 at 12:35 PM

dear Unca Milk. Latham would give you a fair dinkum pizzling if he heard you refer to his 'one nutness' as a 'disability'. i just call it funny y'know cos, y'know, it just is!! it's kinda like calling Mike Moore fat. It's funny because it's true!

Posted by: roscoe.p.coltrane at July 6, 2004 at 12:38 PM

I think it was an act of God,
That Latho's only got one cod.
You might think it funny, but
It's no joke to have one nut.
You might grow up short or tall,
But you'll still get named "Old Oddball".
It's much worse than getting colic,
Having to rely on just one bollock.
Gough may be his foremost backer,
But even he calls him "Nacker Lacker".

Posted by: Habib at July 6, 2004 at 01:28 PM

Guys, the AGE and SMH are having a 'What you say'


Sotelli, you obviously don't read much leftist clapthink do you?

Admittedly, I do tend to shy away from the "heavy" stuff, the kind of garbage that the "sensible" liberal-left claims is a radical fringe while they're standing in line to see F911.

But even held to the gold standard of IXLNXS, Tobias comes off as especially nonsensical. What were the subjects of his first two lines? The world may never know, all I can tell is that he really wants his nuts licked, because he's not getting enough attention from the Berkley crowd.

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 01:39 PM

"All gloves are off". No, it's either "all bets are off", or "the gloves are off". Is there a name for this particular error - conflating two idiomatic or colloquial expressions? Australian journalists do it all the time. It's not quite a malapropism, as beloved of Kath and Kim.

Posted by: cuckoo at July 6, 2004 at 01:40 PM

Latham is a "bully" in the old sense of the word. He is happy to stomp around abusing everyone on the other side yet moved to tears when the inevitable retaliation occurs.

He worries about his wife and children, well I worry about my country's relations with the US President. He has had his say. Former colleagues say bad things about him? This is relevant as not many of us know how he administers and we need to know.

His ex-wife hates him? Get over it! What ex-wife doesn't hate her ex-husband, even if we do nothing at all wrong, the minute we get remarried we are bastards.

When is he going to tell us what he actually stands for. All we get is silence and micro policies. We don't need the classic answer to criticism that he has trotted out which is to attempt to redirect attention to the Liberal conspiracy. Gee.. didn't Adolph use that line?

Posted by: Allan at July 6, 2004 at 01:47 PM

Surely she means the gloves are on, not off?

Posted by: Freddyboy at July 6, 2004 at 02:10 PM

It makes me feel really sad,
To think about the One 'Nad Lad;
Pocket billiards just can't be done,
When the balls you've got number one.

Posted by: Habib at July 6, 2004 at 02:45 PM

Hi Tim

Your friendly plumber from the GDU reporting in again, to dish the latest dirt on Whacko Lacko. With the DVD of "Mark's Big Night Out, 1993" about to hit the streets ($20 + postage and handling, available at quality outlets everywhere), our next strategy is for Gabrielle to star in Big Brother. I can see a possible love interest developing here with Tony Abbott, which should just about drive Mark over the edge with jealousy! Fiendish, huh?

Stay tuned for more.......

Posted by: Freddyboy at July 6, 2004 at 03:30 PM

haiku for Mark. the politician winters hand in pocket lonely testicle sorrow

Posted by: roscoe.p.coltrane at July 6, 2004 at 03:45 PM

Imagine just how large the bill,
To remove his diseased pill;
After this, Mark is aware,
Of the need to fund Medicare.

He may now need a penis pump,
To make up for his missing lump,
So get out there and vote and vote,
In sympathy for his half-empty scrote.

Posted by: Habib at July 6, 2004 at 05:04 PM

The only good thing I have to say about Marvellous Mark is that he's shown guts in the past. Beating testicular cancer took courage and fortitude.

Of course, that's not the only thing he went around beating... cab drivers for example...

Being a party hack, a bully, and a thug does not mean he wouldn't make a good Prime Minister. Plenty of sleazebags have in the past, though as Paul Keating showed, leaving a trail of slime everywhere you go doesn't neccessarily make you a good PM either.

Give him at least one term as leader of the Opposition, and if he makes a good job of it, I might consider voting for him. Otherwise... no.

Posted by: Alan E Brain at July 6, 2004 at 05:22 PM

Hmmm. Okay then. I've reconsidered, after re-reading some of the things that Slaythem himself said when he started the slagwar.

Just no one start whistling Colonel Bogey.

Posted by: Uncle Milk at July 6, 2004 at 05:32 PM

Wasn't it the codless wonder himself that claimed a politicians personal life was a matter for public scrutiny. He certainly believed that when the labor party lead a malicious attack on the South Australian polly who took her boyfriend overseas at tax payers expense.

The labor party lead a filthy smear campaign against her and questioned all aspects of her personal life, including her sexuallity, yet I never once saw One Nut ask for his party members to stop.

Now Latham reckons it all should stop. Here's a statement Latham made to the Bulletin in 2002, "Look, the idea that politics can be too rough and too personal is a bit rich", he also said in the same interview "We are a nation that is willing to call a spade a spade and if need be to pick up the spade and whack someone over the head with it". Well Sook Daddy Latho, you just got whacked with the spade..

What a pathetic joke Latham is. He repeatedly dishes it out but when it comes back he cries like a baby and tells more lies to get sympathy. He claimed that his family were targeted yet it has been proven to be just another Latham lie, no-one targeted his kin, maybe his chin but not his kin.

I always said his wife would unleash dirt on him the closer the election got and it seems she has more in store. I can't wait.

Glen Milne last night on Lateline made no apologies for any dirt Latham was receiving and hinted he would unleash more, hehehehehe. Is it christmas? I'm loving it....

Posted by: scott at July 6, 2004 at 05:46 PM

What worries me is that thousands of men suffering from testicular cancer , will now refuse to have the cancerous nut removed.
Because they dont want to end to be up a arsehole like Mark Latham.
They shouldn't worry, because he was a arsehole long before they cut his bollock off..

Posted by: John P. at July 6, 2004 at 06:41 PM

Habib - Ohmygawd, that was tha' funyst fing I heard this century!!!!

(Rocky from "Pizza")

Posted by: DaveACt at July 6, 2004 at 07:47 PM

The leader of the opposition was going to have an arsehole transplant, but the arsehole rejected him.

Posted by: Habib at July 6, 2004 at 07:47 PM

I wonder how the poor cancer felt when it learned that it had contracted Mark Latham.

Posted by: bad templar at July 6, 2004 at 08:20 PM