Tim Blair

hmm, well i found this interesting:

"Onions - Both raw and cooked onions contain disulphide, a compound that, while harmless to humans, can cause oxidative damage to the red blood cells in many animals. The resulting condition is called Heinz body hemolytic anemia."

mere coincidence? I think not.

He says his favorite food is chocolate chip cookies. But what cookie recipe did his wife offer to Family Circle for the big election cookie cook-off, the cookie recipe poll that has successfully predicted the last three presidential elections? See for youselves.

Well, now, we don't know what kind of chocolate those cookies might have, eh? Perhaps, just perhaps, Kerry's Kookies contain white chocolate. The linked article says, in part:

"The answer is yes. Regular dark chocolate is made from cacao beans, the source of high levels of theobromine, a caffeine-like substance. White chocolate, on the other hand, is made from cocoa butter, which is safe for dogs."

Emphasis is mine.

Now, assuming that this applies for hamsters as well, we could be looking at white chocolate chip cookies.

John Kerry could be still be a hamster!

Tough man. Fourth Purple Heart warranted.

FYI, alcohol is toxic to humans and yet I can put it away like nobody's business.

Also, note the jowly cheeks of the French looking Senator. They would suggest he could store many chocolate chip cookies in his cheeks just as my son's pet hamster does with sunflower seeds.

Federal Hamster Diet Authority? I would think that is a matter for the states.

Okay, so maybe he's a gerbil or a guinea pig. Wouldn't be the first time that the New York Times had gotten its facts mixed up, now would it?

Don't expect a correction.

The real question is, can he be kept away by garlic.

If he’s not a hamster then he must be CO2.

If he's not a hamster, he's at least crazy. "Kerry, I can see your nuts!"

Chocolate is poisonous for dogs, so they say, but I used to give my dogs chocolate, and they were okay. So I don't believe chocolate is poisonous to ham--- er, John Kerry, either!

I like those Kerry-hamster & -rodent photos, especially the one that scares children. Terrific special effects. And here I’d been thinking how impressed everybody would be that I got the “2” in a smaller font in “CO2.”

1 Question- how do you induce vomiting in a hamster?

Well, with John Kerry, it is more a question of suppressing your gag reflex until you can reach the toilet.

If Kerry is CO2, then he causes global warming and should be banned by the Kyoto Protocol.

Uh, sorry, I meant CO2, not CO2.

Query: Can Kerry be methane?

Maybe Kerry uses carob as a chocolate substitute. People who wear spandex outfits for biking are usually part of the carob-American population.

Now, see, I prefer CO₂.

(Note the above will not work on all machines, but it does on mine, so nyah-nyah.)

Here's what Hamster Kerry would look like if he was a republican.

>1 Question- how do you induce vomiting in a hamster?

Show them an episode of "Hamtaro."

"The answer is yes. Regular dark chocolate is made from cacao beans, the source of high levels of theobromine, a caffeine-like substance. White chocolate, on the other hand, is made from cocoa butter, which is safe for dogs."

er, while i won't quibble that cocoa butter may contain far lower levels (maybe even lower to the level of none) of theobromine than dark chocolate, it does need to be pointed out that cocoa butter is made from the same beans; it is essentially the fat squeezed out of them. kind of icky to think about, but awfully tasty.

I wonder if George W can eat chocolate chip cookies too, or does he choke on them like.... a pretzel?

Well, perhaps W should learn from Kerry to nibble cookies & pretzels into powder & to leave a trail of turds so people can find him if he gets into trouble

They say theobromine is a diuretic, yes, but how is it physiologically possible that all the bullcrap comes out of John Kerry's mouth?

Hey Tim, How do you know that wasn't a plastic chocolate chip cookie, huh?