June 18, 2004


Happy anniversary, Mr Senator:

The opening night of next month's Democratic convention in Boston is set to feature an emotional party tribute to hometown hero Ted Kennedy, who has served in office longer than every other senator but one.

Guess no one at the Democratic National Committee took a close look at the calendar: That July 26 salute to Teddy just happens to coincide with ... the 35th anniversary of Chappaquiddick.

Posted by Tim Blair at June 18, 2004 06:01 PM

Ted Kennedy, surprise, surprise ... This is Your Life!

Posted by: ilibcc at June 18, 2004 at 06:27 PM

I've said it before and I'll say it again. They shot the wrong Kennedy brother. Twice.

Posted by: David Gillies at June 18, 2004 at 06:32 PM

I still chuckle when I remember the comments made by a Ted Kennedy aide when the Senator was making a bid for the democratic nomination in 1980. Asked whether Chappaquidick would be an issue in the campaign, the aide replied: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it".

Posted by: rexie at June 18, 2004 at 06:38 PM

Ted Kennedy, who has served in office longer than every other senator but one

How many times has he been re-elected since Chappaquidick?

Posted by: Andjam at June 18, 2004 at 06:47 PM

"Teddy Kennedy's car has killed more people than my guns!"

Posted by: BruceT at June 18, 2004 at 07:05 PM

Will the Kopechne family be attending?

Posted by: Spiny Norman at June 18, 2004 at 07:08 PM


That was hilarious. And, frankly, thought-provoking.

Posted by: CurrencyLad at June 18, 2004 at 07:40 PM

Tim: Is anyone else on to this yet? It's bloody amazing.

Posted by: CurrencyLad at June 18, 2004 at 07:43 PM

Cant believe it - what a stuff up! Or maybe they deliberately did it to prove that he has "moved on". Surely he cant go on with it.

Posted by: Rob at June 18, 2004 at 07:56 PM

The Experimental Aircraft Association has immortalized Chappaquidick although I don't think they intended to do that.

July 21, 1969 was the day Neil Armstrong stepped on to the moon. In the EAA museum display for the Apollo 11 moon mission there is a newspaper with the story of the landing but, off to the side of that main story is Chappaquidick.

Posted by: Fred Boness at June 18, 2004 at 08:12 PM

Well its just a lot of water under the bridge.
So pass the poteen, and here's to the old fart.
Please do not deter from the cinematic achievements of stanley kubrik.
This was his greatest production after doctor strangelove.
Soon to be aired in uncut version by the ABC.

Posted by: davo at June 18, 2004 at 09:07 PM

thanks for posting that, jf. i still have my copy of the original lampoon that came in, but have been unable to find it on the web.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 18, 2004 at 09:49 PM

Meanwhile, in REAL news, the September 11 commission confirms that Bush's case for war was in fact a complete fucking JOKE and, oh yes, BUSHLIED.

Oh what the fuck. Vote the wanker in again.

(Sorry - I should be banned, I know).

Posted by: Nemesis at June 18, 2004 at 09:52 PM


Gee, thanks for the "news" flash. Nice lefty slant on what the commission actually said, by the way.

Posted by: J F Beck at June 18, 2004 at 10:01 PM

Nemesis - You truly are a stupid twat. The commission said no such thing because Bush NEVER said AQ was behind 9/11. Thus the bullshit 9/11 commission threw an one sentence bone in a mutipage report, with something completely out of their purview, which the impartial press is running with as if it "proves" that Bush lied about something.

But by all means prove me wrong - show me a link to a Bush speech where he says "AQ was behine 9/11". Link and all please.

He didn't.

You lefty whacko's really, really need to get your fucked up stories straight.

Oh and nice thread hijacking dope.

Back to topic: Captain Oldsmobile should have spent his life in jail, not the Senate, for murdering MaryJo, but of course when you are a monied Mass politico the laws don't apply to you.

Posted by: hen at June 18, 2004 at 10:05 PM

i think you mean 'iraq', dear hen ;)

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 18, 2004 at 10:25 PM

My wife has a t-shirt the front of which reads: "Where were you 20 July 1969?"

(On the back is a picture of the Moon, the words "We were here." and Boeing's logo.)

She got some strange looks when she wore it up in Boston last summer, though.

Posted by: F451 at June 18, 2004 at 10:28 PM

Yes, Hen, I was wondering what the 911 COmmission was fdoing commenting on the Iraq war, when it was supposed to be looking into the terrrorist attack om New York and Washington in 2001.

Only idiots like Nemesis would think that this Commission can be seen as being a propoer non-political, unbiased body. And only people like Nemesis would think that saying that George Bush has done something wrong has any relevance at all when we are taliking about someone else, Ted Kennedy, who did one really horrendous thing at Chappaquiddick, got away with iot and has been a person who has continued to do horrendous things politically ever since. The senior Senator from Mass is a joke. If he were on fire I wouldn't piss on him to put out the flames.

Posted by: Toryhere at June 18, 2004 at 10:56 PM

ohhh christ - yeah yeah....Iraq, Iraq, not AQ -- Bush never said Iraq was working with AQ in planning the 9/11 attack. Sorry. I just got so jerked up by Nemesis' idiocy that i botched up. My bad.

And to Toryhere, as soon as the 9/11 commiss refused to boot Gorelick's fat ass off the commission despite the obvious and overwhelming conflict of interest i knew that no matter what "report" they issued it wd be nothing more then bullshit. I haven't yet read the full report but somehow i bet i'm right.

If Fat Teddy's face was on fire i wdn't put it out with a garden rake or a bucket of piss.

Posted by: hen at June 18, 2004 at 11:03 PM

If the Hero of Chappaquiddick's face were on fire, I just might be compassionate enough to put it out with an ice pick. But from the looks of his face, someone already did.

Posted by: nobody important at June 18, 2004 at 11:12 PM

geesh, the russkies thought the iraqis were terrorists

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 18, 2004 at 11:46 PM

We should repeat this Kennedy story every time the left says "Bush lied".

Or a new motto: "Bluto lied, Mary Jo died"

Posted by: EddieP at June 19, 2004 at 12:22 AM

i still have my copy of the original lampoon that came in...

YOUR COPY????? You weren't even old enough to read when that came out, thieving little puke! Give it back or I send a donation to the Hamster with your name alllll over it...

I'm quite sure Ted the Muffin Man is apoplectic that people still remember that poor girl's name.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at June 19, 2004 at 12:26 AM

possession is 99% of the law, so it is my copy. so nyah. come and get it.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 19, 2004 at 12:42 AM

The 9/11 Commission (Emission?) and Senator Bloat can all go to hell in the same handbasket, IMO.

treehuggingsister and Mr. Bingley. Don't make me come over there. I don't care who started it.

Posted by: Rebecca at June 19, 2004 at 01:08 AM

The whole incident happened on July 19, not July 26. He gave his mea minima culpa on July 25.

Posted by: Andrew at June 19, 2004 at 01:10 AM

she did she did she did

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 19, 2004 at 01:20 AM

"Little over a mile away the car that I was driving on an unlit road went off a narrow bridge which had no guard rails and was built on a left angle to the road. The car overturned into a deep pond and immediately filled with water."

Senator Chevas said this in an address to the nation after the accident. "The car I was driving . . . went off a narrow bridge . . ."

It truely is astonishing why the Kennedys are so loved.

It's all right here: http://www.ytedk.com/intro.htm

Posted by: Dibble at June 19, 2004 at 01:44 AM

Go ahead & let Ted the Dregs Kennedy & the news media drive you off the bridge. Democrat Lee Hamilton on the 9/11 Commission said that the news media claims are wrong & that he doesn’t know what the excitement is about. Bush never claimed evidence of an Iraq-9/11 connection. He claimed there were Iraq-Al Qaeda ties. The 9/11 Commission says that there many contacts that we know of between Iraq & Al Qaeda.

Neither Saddam & his regime nor Al Qaeda—established criminal monsters both—had any presumption of innocence whatsoever as pertaining to our decision to invade. Our decision to invade was not merely a “punishment” of folks unpresumed innocent of more extensive collaboration, but a security action against folks unpresumed innocent of more extensive collaboration. And it was done in accordance with 19 UN mandatory resolutions, including Resolution 1441—Saddam’s last chance.

Saddam’s regime & Al Qaeda benefited from & exploited that strategic impact of their simultaneity & of the sheer potentiality short- & long-term for interaction & collaboration. In such strategic tandem, they didn’t need to be in continual contact. And they could have actually collaborated extensively or sooner or later. Go into the future with Saddam & Qusay or Uday, & with Al Qaeda, & with the ever increasing advance of technologies adaptable for mass destruction? Wait till Saddam or Qusay or Uday finally gets nukes? While we exhaust & bankrupt ourselves in endlessly preparing & positioning ourselves to act decisively without ever actually acting but instead the credibility of our willingness to act & sitting by while the windows of political, logicistical, & military opportunity all become sht? Not a strategy, not an option. It just would have led to mass destruction. First of Western cities, & then of those societies where islamofascism thrives. The Left would love all these near-apocalyptic events. It’s a mad world-transformation dream. It imagines itself then stepping in to pick up the pieces, denouncing the crippled West for its mass-destructive response & weeping crocodile tears over the destruction of whole Muslim societies.

As for Ted Kennedy, aka Senator Swimmer or Senator Splash, though “Splash” is in fact his dog’s name——

Ted’s career has been one of vengefully sticking it to the USA with destructive legislation & mendacious politics, in order to show how powerful & immune to repercussions he is—in revenge against the USA for his self-inflicted inability ever to become President. Again & again Ted will drive us off the bridge. It would be as if his soul were still underwater in a car, if he had a soul.

Posted by: ForNow at June 19, 2004 at 02:15 AM

she did she did she did
Somethings never change.

And what was the joke, that Clinton should have let Ted drive Monica home............

Posted by: Crusader at June 19, 2004 at 02:21 AM

Noted that it happened on July 18, but I also notice where the mistake came in...Kopechne's birthday was July 26.

Posted by: Ken Summers at June 19, 2004 at 02:24 AM

Bad joke doing the rounds when JFK Jr. died:

"The Kennedys have become much more efficient. They drown their women two at a time now."

Posted by: ushie at June 19, 2004 at 03:12 AM

It’s another episode of Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car....

Er, ah, Toonces, I know you can drive a caaa, but you, er, don’t drive very well. Eight horrible crashes in a rooow, not a good record, even uh er for a cat.

For the first time in his nine lives, Toonces the Cat yields the wheel.

Ah, er, Toonces, you won’t ah regret this—

A small wooden bridge comes into view. And down we go! Splash.

—because, uh er you won’t liiive to regret this.

....guest-starring Ted Kennedy & “in-corpse-orated” into Tales From The Crypt.

Posted by: ForNow at June 19, 2004 at 04:14 AM

Andjam asks:

How many times has he been re-elected since Chappaquidick?
Way too many. Massachusetts must be filled with Stepford Voters.

Posted by: Barbara Skolaut at June 19, 2004 at 07:07 AM

I will never forget my shock at finding out that Ted Kennedy has a dog named 'Splash'.

Evidently the whiskey has either driven all memory or all shame from his brain.

Posted by: mapchic at June 19, 2004 at 07:51 AM

A columnist at a Boston paper (the Globe?) Actually wrote, "If Mary Jo Kopechne were alive today, she would be praising Ted Kennedy for his stance on health care for seniors..."

Posted by: richard mcenroe at June 19, 2004 at 10:56 AM

...'cause only if she were alive, she'd be collecting Medicare!

Posted by: Forbes at June 19, 2004 at 11:34 AM


I am from Mass and our state is loaded with ethno-centric voters. For example in 1984, both Reagan and Kerry received 60% of the state vote. Think about it. That means at LEAST 20% of the electorate here voted for Reagan and Kerry on the same day and the same ballot. Need a clue? They are both Irish (or Kerry was at least pretending to be at the time). I am not making this up.


Posted by: Harry at June 19, 2004 at 11:37 AM