November 07, 2004
TRIUMPH OF YOUTH
Who knew that the youth vote would turn out to be so smart? Hunter S. Thompson condemns the youngsters:
"I feel like somebody's died," Thompson lamented as the sun was preparing to rise early Wednesday morning. "I'm just not sure who it was."
He deemed the election "another failure of the youth vote."
"Yeah, we rocked the vote all right. Those little bastards betrayed us again."
I've been a fan of those little bastards for years. Mark Morford is another who's having difficulty dealing with generational change:
We supposedly had more of the youth vote and the disenfranchised single-female vote and the "Daily Show" vote and the Eminem vote and the celebrity vote and the humanitarian vote and the antiwar vote and the gay vote and the pro-choice vote and the Howard Stern vote and the immigrant vote, and still the dragon just sneered and hacked up another fireball of bogus fear and evangelical Christian self-righteousness and torched our glimmering sword of juicy hope into a smoking cinder.
Via Judith Weiss. Morford sounds so old; he's not so much on the wrong side of history as he is history. Just as well Iowahawk has a fresh batch of positives to "keep our progressive friends warm during the upcoming Rovian ice age":
Posted by Tim Blair at November 7, 2004 01:20 AM• Money is the lifeblood of politics, and Democrats were able to establish a solid fundraising network in 2004. This will stand you in good stead in future elections. When you go back to George Soros and Steve Bing in 2008 and ask them for another $150 million, make sure you point out all the successes you accomplished this year.
• Kerry's lack of success in the South was largely due to the fact that Southerners are uneducated and often 'slow.' Studies have found that special needs students often learn better through repetition, so it will be important to continually remind Southerners that they are violent inbred monkey-people.
• On an up note, Democratic efforts to increase voter turnout was a major success story in 2004. Progressives have shown that they know how to get first-timers and young people to the polling booth. Next time, you can work on the problem of making them vote for you.
Hunter S. Thompson. My god, if we ever need to erect a statue to the notion that the left in America has not had an original idea since 1974, we can bronze that drunken, burned out carnival geek and prop him up on the pedestal.
Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 7, 2004 at 01:29 AM"I feel like somebody's died," Thompson lamented as the sun was preparing to rise early Wednesday morning. "I'm just not sure who it was."Look in the mirror, Leatherface. Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 01:41 AM
I regret to inform Iowahawk that irony is dead:
Democrats will build on the successes of this year. More grass-roots organizers were recruited and trained than ever before. Over $300 million was raised in one year—the most ever by the Democratic Party. We started this electoral season more unified and energized than ever before; we must continue to soar.And
Since I hail from a red state deep in the heart of Dixie—and claim many of "those people" as my friends and relatives—perhaps I can shed some light. Rather than isolating the "faith voters" as freaks and grotesques (as Southerners have historically been seen by the North), we should be analyzing what we all, as members of the human race, have in common.From Slate, and, err, Slate. Slate: 100% of your daily insane leftist rant needs!
I've posted two time-saving roundups here and here if people are interested, but you have to read the originals to get the full effect. Kind of like coming face-to-face with Cthulhu during an eclipse of the moon...
Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 7, 2004 at 01:56 AMIt's not only old Leatherface that's dead, Andrea. You've probably read James Taranto on what he calls the ``Roe effect'' - the millions of under-30 Americans who were never born in the first place because they were aborted.
So do the math, Hunter - who are the people who aborted their children? and who are the ones who actually had them and raised them, and are now sending them out into the world as teachers and techies and small-business owners and Marine corporals? And why should it astonish you that children raised by conservative parents should tend to be, well, conservative?
Posted by: Annalucia at November 7, 2004 at 02:12 AMI love people like Morford who can say "bogus fear" and then unthinkingly spawn a metaphor which sounds like nothing so much as a literal description of the aftermath of a terrorist attack. I'm convinced that in some sense, to them, 9/11 didn't happen, just as, in some sense, people are being tortured right now to reveal what books they checked out.
Posted by: Mike G at November 7, 2004 at 02:19 AMB-but Annalucia, children are supposed to rebel against their parents! It's in the Manual! =O
I guess some of them did, in time-honored Alex Keaton fashion.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 02:26 AM...our glimmering sword of juicy hope...
Sex, sex, sex, Morford, that's all you ever think about.
You've probably read James Taranto on what he calls the ``Roe effect'' - the millions of under-30 Americans who were never born in the first place because they were aborted.
Yes, and mighty tiresome on the subject he is, too. There are other means of birth control besides abortion; perhaps he's heard of them. And, as Andrea alludes, Taranto's making a big assumption when he says those unborn children would've voted Democrat.
Posted by: Angie Schultz at November 7, 2004 at 02:36 AMLet's not take Taranto too serious on his Roe Effect hobby horse...to me, it seems intended to be more of a metaphor on the law of unintended consequences, something that liberals steadfastly refuse to acknowledge even exists.
"We started this electoral season more unified and energized than ever before; we must continue to soar."
At least Icarus realized it when that sun thingy, err, interrupted his soaring. Doesn't look like Donna Brazile has come away with the same realization from Nov 2nd yet.
Posted by: PW at November 7, 2004 at 03:10 AMAngie,
Everyone is perfectly aware that there are other methods of birth control. The fact, however, is that from Roe's handing down through 1986, 19,100,600 children were aborted who, all else being equal, would have been old enough to vote in the last election. (Figures from the Guttmacher Institute's web site.) If you check the regional breakdown, you'll see that there's a strong correlation between a state's color and its rate of abortion: the bluer the state, the higher its rate of abortion. Thus, a disproportionate number of those children would have been born in blue states and so would have had a higher likelihood of being Kerry supporters. If 60% of the aborted children had voted Democratic - not an unlikely number, given the higher proportion of abortion in blue states - that would by itself have been enough to swing the popular vote to Kerry; and it most certainly would have been given him victory in Ohio, Iowa, and New Mexico.
These numbers are pretty rough, to be sure, but it's clear that the Roe effect is real. Taranto is tiresome in beating his drum about it, but the fact is that he's right.
Annalucia, give my regards to your corporal son.
Posted by: Brown Line at November 7, 2004 at 03:18 AMThese guys sound like Ernest Borgnine's character in BASEketball: "You kids today with your loud music, your Dan Fogelberg, Zima, your hula-hoops, and your Pac-Man video games..."
Posted by: Emily at November 7, 2004 at 03:19 AMUh, guys? I see signs of this discussion approaching the Abortion Derailment Area. If that happens I will shut this post down.
By the way, my dig was supposed to be against hippy parents (and their apparent inability to raise children who agreed with their values, unlike those ignorant red-state parents), not against anti-abortionists. Just for the record.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 03:29 AMSorry, Andrea; wasn't intending to hijack the thread. I just found it curious that Thompson, Morford, et al., are so busy lamenting the lack of young-voter turnout that it never occurred to them that so many young voters are...not there.
Posted by: Annalucia at November 7, 2004 at 03:58 AMGreat comment Annalucia! Hope you don't mind if I 'borrow' it and spread it around.
I hear Democrats have started a "Get Out the Rope" campaign for Michael Moore.
Posted by: Arty at November 7, 2004 at 04:13 AMSuch a thing would never occur to Morford et al. I doubt Morford even thinks of babies -- considering what his personal predilections seem to be, I certainly hope he doesn't. ::shudder::
Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 04:29 AMI've always wondered why the left assumes that the youth would vote for their candidates. Must be something left over from that 1968 bong water.
Posted by: Mikey at November 7, 2004 at 05:17 AMAndrea:
Such a thing would never occur to Morford et al. I doubt Morford even thinks of babies -- considering what his personal predilections seem to be...
That thought occurred to me when I saw the title of his missive: "Hello, Uranus? Got Any Room?"
(Well, maybe not *yours.*)
Posted by: Juliette at November 7, 2004 at 06:02 AM"I've always wondered why the left assumes that the youth would vote for their candidates. Must be something left over from that 1968 bong water."
Obviously, smoking marijuana does cause brain damage :P
Posted by: John "Akatsukami" Braue at November 7, 2004 at 06:04 AMHunter, Hunter, Hunter. I'm a youth voter. Before the election, you were all sweet and encouraging - sure, I could vote! In fact, it was my duty! You wrote sweet nothings to me, you sent metaphorical bouquets just because I was young. It was a little creepy, to be sure, seeing as you're older than my parents, but I thought you meant well. So I finally gave in. I did what you wanted. I voted.
But now - the morning after - it's like you're not the same guy! You used to be so sweet, and now that I've actually *done* what you wanted, you won't even talk to me! What happened, Hunter? What happened? Did I do it wrong? I mean, you didn't tell me whom to vote *for*. If you just assumed I would know what you meant, well, you were wrong. Communication is a two-way street, Hunter. You begged me to vote, and I did. How was I supposed to know you wanted a special *kind* of vote?
Frankly, Hunter, I feel betrayed. Especially by someone your age - I thought you would remember what it's like to be young and inexperienced in voting! Instead you just laugh at me like it's all my fault. It's hard to keep from crying even while I write this.
I need time away from you, Hunter. I don't think I'll vote again for a long time; I've been pretty scarred by this whole experience. But if I ever vote again, it won't be with you. It will be with someone who understands me, Hunter. And I have a feeling that someone will be a little closer to my own age, better able to understand me.
Good-bye, Hunter, you faithless cad. Good luck getting some other ignorant young girl to vote next time. Everyone knows what you're like now.
*Sniff*
Good-bye.
Sonetka
Posted by: Sonetka at November 7, 2004 at 06:45 AMTwo kids, 19 and 22, and both voted for Bush. I realize they're supposed to 'rebel against their parents', and they do. But in the important stuff, they know who's gonna fight the bad guys.
Posted by: Mark at November 7, 2004 at 06:45 AMHunter has never been quite right since the Angles beat the shit out of him so many years ago...... even Sonny admitted to that point.
Posted by: Shaun Bourke at November 7, 2004 at 08:03 AMNext time, you can work on the problem of making them vote for you.ROFLMAO! :-D Posted by: Barbara Skolaut at November 7, 2004 at 10:32 AM
you stock up on the superlative porn and the expensive wine and the deepened sense of true beauty and sex and love and hope and you hunker down and grit your teeth and dig in for the long haul, and you work on making your own goddamn garden more beautiful than even you could have imagined, because, well, the neighborhood -- and the world -- needs it, more than ever.
Gardening and jerking off to porn. The Morford strategy for electorial sucesss in '08. I don't know what to say, I can't satirise Morford, no one can.
I admit, hearing Morford's response was one of the principle joys I anticipated associated with a second Bush term, but now it's here I find it curiously unsatifying. Morford pegged out the retard-o-meter needle months ago with his stream of conciousness verbal idiocy, it's like he's got nothing left to give now, in his ultimate extremity of despair. And of course, the effeminate jackass isn't going to move.
regroup and sober up and take an even deeper breath and watch in hot wet spiritually emboldened amusement as the cosmic circus unfolds.
ROVE: "Troubling news, Mr President,"
BUSH: "Ha ha! 'Mr President', I never get tired of hearing that."
ROVE: (sigh) "Yes. Anyway, our polling indicates as a significant hot wet spiritually emboldened amusement at the cosmic circus unfolding in marginal congressional districts."
(long pause)
BUSH: "Look Carl, you've been working hard, maybe you should take some time off."
Posted by: Amos at November 7, 2004 at 12:03 PMAmos, it's "Karl", with a K (Carl with a C is the janitor in your building). That's important, cuz it's more evil that way.
Posted by: Dave S. at November 7, 2004 at 02:51 PMActually, I looked it up and there were quite a lot of first-time voters in the 18-22 group. Unfortunately for the Democrats, most were wearing military uniforms at the time, and remembered how Kerry voted against funding for military needs.
Posted by: Kim du Toit at November 8, 2004 at 06:40 AMShaun Bourke — The Angles beat up Hunter Thompson? What about the Jutes and Saxons? Was the beating led by Ivar the Boneless from the Berdoo chapter?
Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 8, 2004 at 07:39 AMEven more evil with three K's -- you know, "KKKarl Rove". And an SS-style lightning bolt for the S in Bush.
Any of you Yanks able to ship a boxful of leftover "John Kerry for President" stickers to Australia? I've a mind to out one on my car, after using an Atta-knife to excise the "Y".
Posted by: Uncle Milk at November 8, 2004 at 09:52 AM