November 07, 2004

BETTER OFF DEAD

Former Guantanamo Bay occupant Jamal reveals the nightmarish abuses he suffered:

A military intelligence officer brought a ghetto blaster into his room. He put it on the floor in the corner. He said, "Here's a great girl band doing Fleetwood Mac songs."

He didn't blast the CD at Jamal. This wasn't sleep-deprivation, and it wasn't an attempt to induce the Bucha Effect. Instead, the agent simply put it on at normal volume.

"He put it on," said Jamal, "and he left."

"An all-girl Fleetwood Mac covers band?" I said.

"Yeah," said Jamal.

Bastards.

(Via contributor J.F. Beck)

Posted by Tim Blair at November 7, 2004 12:08 AM
Comments

If that doesn't get Amnesty International fired up, I don't know what will.

You know, though, the Demos should have ran to the right of Bush on the WoT: how many Guantanamo detainees who Bush released have engaged in high-profile terrorism since?

By my count, at least six. Did Bush think he would get some favorable coverage for this gesture? The press has hardly noticed.

Posted by: KevinV at November 7, 2004 at 12:10 AM

The winning energy is with the terrorists.

Posted by: Robert Bosler at November 7, 2004 at 12:11 AM

Actually, that does sound pretty cruel.

Posted by: CurrencyLad at November 7, 2004 at 12:20 AM

I rather doubt that the network engineer from Abu Ghraib is giving Guardian interviews, as is claimed about halfway down. Anyhoo, I'm off to buy a cowboy hat and practice my line dancing for tonight's Matchbox 20 concert.

Posted by: Buzz at November 7, 2004 at 12:28 AM

Fleetwood Mac? Cruel? Well, if you like Lawrence Welk, yeah, I suppose so.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 12:47 AM

Definitely cruel and extremely unusual.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 7, 2004 at 01:13 AM

Please, please tell me they didn't do "Tusk." That will change my whole outlook on the War on Terror...

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 01:21 AM

Could've been worse, Jamal. Could've been William Shatner doing cover songs...

Posted by: Roger Bournival at November 7, 2004 at 01:24 AM

Oh, wait!! I missed this the first time:

"Here's a great girl band doing Fleetwood Mac songs."

It wasn't Fleetwood Mac, it was a remake by other musicians!

Yeah, that would be cruel to anyone.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 01:27 AM

The thing is, The Guardian actually ran this piece of ferret droppings. Which means one of two things. Either they are barking mad, or, they are very canny indeed but their readers are barking mad.

Not much wiggle room here.

(Matchbox Twenty?)

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 7, 2004 at 01:42 AM

Should've played Blackflag or Bauhaus.

Posted by: Harry in Atlanta at November 7, 2004 at 01:46 AM

Was it the Dixie Chicks? They redid "Landslide," which gave you a greater appreciation for the original.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 7, 2004 at 01:51 AM

"Should've played Blackflag or Bauhaus."

Bauhaus' cover of "Ziggy Stardust." I'd have broken right there.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 02:34 AM

After reading the entire article one has to marvel at the credulousness of the author. Jamal certainly has a wild story to tell and it may be worth 6 million pounds if it's told just right.

The document blockbuster at the end seals the deal. No mention of the contents or conclusions. Just a statement that such a thing exists. Then queue the X-Files theme.

Posted by: Squatch at November 7, 2004 at 02:40 AM

Man, you just can't make this stuff up.

Posted by: Rebecca at November 7, 2004 at 02:50 AM

It could have been worse. At least they didn't have an all girl band doing Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles" over___and over___and over! Besides, I thought that Fleetwood Mac WAS an all girls band! HeHeHe!

Posted by: YoJimbo at November 7, 2004 at 03:00 AM

'Fraid not, YoJimbo. Fleetwood Mac was mixed.

And that's the all-girls remake is cruel.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 03:18 AM

Sorry....

"And that's why the all-girls remake is cruel."

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 03:18 AM

LMAO!

It could have been worse, and been a visual of Janet Jackson one titless dancing!

Posted by: mshyde at November 7, 2004 at 03:24 AM

I don't think there's enough tin foil to go around between the writer and his sources, we might need to start rationing it as a precious commodity.

Posted by: Bobby G at November 7, 2004 at 04:17 AM

Well, at least it wasn't Kid Creole and the Coconuts: I mean, "Endicott" and "Nika Nika" over and over and over again...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 7, 2004 at 04:57 AM

Oh please. "Puberty Love" would be true torment. Fleetwood Mac is more like having flies buzzing around your head - annoying, but not potentially life-destroying.

Posted by: Sonetka at November 7, 2004 at 07:01 AM

Hmmmm. I'm a fan of both. (Girl bands and Fleetwood Mac). Actually, all three (locking scumbag terrorists up in a tropical gulag that, just for frosting, is in Fidel's face every day of his life).

So anyone know the name of this band? I'd give 'em a shot. And if it's torture, can't they use Eddie Murphy's 'Party All the Time'?

Posted by: Andrew X at November 7, 2004 at 07:27 AM

They've been reading Harry Potter to David Hicks, apparently.

Posted by: Quentin George at November 7, 2004 at 07:51 AM

Could it be The Corrs? There is one guy in the band -- the brother -- but they (very sensibly) keep him in the background. And there *is* a pretty good cover of "Dreams" on the "Talk on Corners Special Edition" CD.

However, it seems more likely that the instrument of torture was "Legacy: A Tribute to Fleetwood Mac's Rumours".

Track list:

Second Hand News - Tonic
Dreams - The Corrs
Never Going Back Again - Matchbox 20
Don't Stop - Elton John
Go Your Own Way - The Cranberries
Songbird - Duncan Sheik
The Chain - Shawn Colvin
You Make Loving Fun - Jewel
I Don't Want To Know - Goo Goo Dolls
Oh Daddy - Tallulah
Gold Dust Woman - Sister Hazel

Not sure how Elton John qualifies as a "girl band". Oh, wait ...

Posted by: TaxMan at November 7, 2004 at 07:54 AM

How about this possible explaination:

1. Guantanamo detainee thinks he's hearing unusual sounds which are part of some diabolical plot to influence detainees with sound.

2. Said detainee repeatedly reports these strange noises to his guards, and tell how fearful he is of them.

3. The guards, who realize that the detainee is hearing normal sounds from a busy prison venue feel sorry for him and provide him with middle of the road, innocuous, popular music at normal listening volume to help the distraught detainee by masking the prison sounds.

Occam's Razor, sounds like the simplest answer, as I have outlined above, is most likely.

Posted by: j.pickens at November 7, 2004 at 08:40 AM

TRJ. I know that it was a mixed group but that had nothing to do with my question.

Posted by: YoJimbo at November 7, 2004 at 08:51 AM

Jamal is used to other groups, like Keening Hag and the Bedouins. Maybe a Lindsey Buckingham solo album would have been more to his taste.

Posted by: Crazy Chester at November 7, 2004 at 11:36 AM

Fortunately he wasn't been guarded by an Australian military intelligence officer, or he would have had to put with The Best of Jimmy Barnes or Delta's love song to naughty Mark; surely human rights abuses right up their with genocide, torture and getting picked on by Nazis.

Posted by: Darlene at National Forum at November 7, 2004 at 11:48 AM

YoJimbo --- oops! Sorry.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 12:08 PM

Its a tough life without the electric shocks and beating.

Posted by: Le clerc at November 7, 2004 at 12:48 PM

"or he would have had to put with The Best of Jimmy Barnes "
Oy. Steady on Darlene. Thems fightin words.

Posted by: max power at November 7, 2004 at 03:23 PM

Kasey Chambers- sweet lass but that voice would induce them to slit their own throats with their finger nails, drives me from the supermarket.-sorry KC

Posted by: Rose at November 8, 2004 at 08:04 AM

Was it this all girl band? This one? Or this one?
I'd commit suicide.

Posted by: bc at November 8, 2004 at 10:18 AM