November 02, 2004


Before Team America: World Police was released, Empire Online wondered if "along with Fahrenheit 9/11, this could well lose the US election for Dubya."

Ha! Not a chance. I saw it last night (media preview; the film is yet to open in Australia). It's hilarious -- and a guaranteed Bush vote-grabber, as sour Daily Kos seemed to realise:

The apparent goal of the movie was to make it a satirical jab at every facet of the "war on terror". Problem is, I think our side got the worst of it.

How sad. The kids at Democratic Underground weren’t happy, either. Sean Penn invoked the chickenhawk argument, a first in film criticism:

Take this as a personal invitation from me to you (you can ask Dennis Miller along for the ride as well) to escort you on a trip, which I took last Christmas. We'll fly to Amman, Jordan and I'll ride with you 12 hours through the Sunni Triangle into Fallujah and Baghdad and I'll show you around. When we return, make all the fun you want.

Penn deserves to be mauled by housecats. Old media was troubled by a perceived lack of balance:

New York Times critic A.O. Scott sides with those who espy a "pronounced conservative streak amid the anarchy," noting that while the film skewers numerous liberal figures in the media, including Sean Penn and Michael Moore, "right-wing media figures escape derision altogether." Liam Lacey in the Toronto Globe & Mail makes a similar point: "Hollywood liberals who criticize their government's foreign policy are gleefully decapitated, dismembered and demolished. Right-wing apologists, never mind George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld, are unscathed."

You know, someone could make a lot of money with a film that mocked Bush and Rumsfeld. Anyway, Team America; go see it.

UPDATE. More good cinematic news for Bush:

Filmmaker Michael Moore and distributors behind Fahrenheit 9/11 have clinched last-minute deals to bring his anti-Bush documentary to pay-per-view television and the internet on the eve of the US presidential election.

Posted by Tim Blair at November 2, 2004 01:42 AM

Can't tell you how much I loved that movie. I actually thought AO Scott gave a decent review of it though.

I don't want to give anything away for those who haven't seen it... but it's an anti-hollywood liberals wet dream.

Posted by: Dash at November 2, 2004 at 01:56 AM

I see fear and loathing oozing out of that fat stinky liars face.God rot your weasel face moore.

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 02:08 AM

Could he be founding father of overweight cases of disgrace.............there must be others .....PHATTY for example

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 02:12 AM

America - Fuck Yeah!

Amazing how much some people don't mind a "lack of balance" when it comes from hot dog-wielding schmucks like Moore.

Posted by: Emily at November 2, 2004 at 02:13 AM

No kidding, Emily. Funny that the critics who revelled in Fahrenheit 9/11's one-sided nature are now crying foul because one movie has come out of Hollywood that doesn't take a jab at Bush.

Waaa! Waaa! Cry me a river!

Posted by: szmike at November 2, 2004 at 02:54 AM

I do recall a comment made by Matt Stone (the more liberal of the two South Park guys), something along the lines of "I hate conservatives, but I REALLY fucking hate liberals"

Posted by: Pat at November 2, 2004 at 03:05 AM

But folks, F9/11 reveals "essential truths" about the Bush administration, while Team America stoops to (gasp!) making fun of liberals! If you can't see why the former is an integral part of society while the latter should be banned and burned, you're really beyond hope. Clueless people like you might even vote for Bushitler.


Posted by: PW at November 2, 2004 at 03:09 AM

My lefty friends are in complete denial about Team America. They are stuck on a "all sides were lampooned equally" mantra. It's both amusing and sad.

Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty fuckin' fee.
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
Who will?

Posted by: ccs178 (Chris) at November 2, 2004 at 03:15 AM

Yeah all the liberals I talk to are stuck on "Don't you get it! Even the title is a bash on how Arrogant America is!"

Posted by: Dash at November 2, 2004 at 03:26 AM


Fuck Yeah!

Why have none of the reviewers discussed the homoeroticism = turgid patriotism angle of the film?

Posted by: Jeff Chandler's Ghost at November 2, 2004 at 03:31 AM

I just gotta feelin your about to enlighten us

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 03:38 AM

Moore's film is an outright attack on Bush, accusing that admin. of everything from cozying up to the Saudi's to legalising nun beating. Team America's angle would seem a tad more subtle, enough so that, as some have pointed out, liberal's can claim everyone got skewered while complaining about it's right wing slant.

Tell me again whose "nuanced" ?

Posted by: Merlin at November 2, 2004 at 03:40 AM

I love Southpark. pro-American. pro-Bush.

But I thought this movie sucked. The worst thing I've ever seen from these two bright boys.

Surely, they could have done better.

Posted by: slickvguy at November 2, 2004 at 03:49 AM

the spherical socialist got his wake up call?

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 03:55 AM

I wonder who Kos is referring to when he says "our side." Actually, I don't.

Posted by: Bud Norton at November 2, 2004 at 03:56 AM

phark rthet phat phreak,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,nothin can be bad enuff fer thal lyin mound of sound

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:00 AM

dig this phat boy theres a whole lotta poeple who hate yer crap and will nevver contribute 1 cent to yer rabid cause

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:03 AM

"Don't you get it! Even the title is a bash on how Arrogant America is!"

A comment that could only come from somebody who thinks that America being the world policeman is a bad thing. No wonder liberals don't get that the joke's on them in Team America. I'd say their humourless reaction helps prove the point of the movie.

Posted by: PW at November 2, 2004 at 04:14 AM

I think the reason some liberals are claiming the movie lambasts both sides equally is that they have trouble with the concepts of not taking yourself seriously, or admitting your flaws. Therefore they can't tell the difference between an outright attack and good-natured mockery.

Posted by: LabRat at November 2, 2004 at 04:14 AM

I even do a straw poll wit my dog .......he go booosh........booosh boooshhhh

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:15 AM

Parker and Stone are not "pro Bush" as so many claim. This should have been made clear by last Wednesday's new South Park episode, which was about an election between a douche bag and a turd sandwich (featuring a hilarious video from P-Diddy regarding "vote or die"). They're primarily libertarians, although it does seem that liberals get hit hardest in their movies and TV shows (the religious right gets hit hard, too).

My wife and I saw the movie last week and really enjoyed it.

Posted by: Brett at November 2, 2004 at 04:17 AM

all they smart rockers and film makers dont get it do they

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:21 AM

who knows who that kerry about to kanoodle up to knext?

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:26 AM

vive Chirac maybe?

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:27 AM

shitty schroeder possibly

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:29 AM

kissingly cute khadaffy perhapse?

Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:31 AM


Posted by: cugel at November 2, 2004 at 04:33 AM

I wouldn't call this a pro-Bush movie. It lets America have it by portraying us as being Uber Patriots and blowing up half the free world to try and save it. However... in the end it's clear we do the job along with our friends because nobody else can. We do it out of a sincere sense of trying to do the right thing.

It clearly deliniates who the REAL bad guys are and why the idiotic Left are a bunch of douches for siding with anyone but America and it's allies.

The Left gets obliterated in this movie, but there is certainly some satire thrown over to the right as well.

Posted by: Dash at November 2, 2004 at 04:35 AM

cugel, please put down the bottle now.

Posted by: PW at November 2, 2004 at 04:42 AM

It rocked. The puppet sex had me in tears.

As far as who gets skewered, the message of the movie, explicitly stated, is, "We HAVE to be dicks, because all you pussies let the assholes shit all over everything."

As far as them blowing up the world to save it - well, Paris was about to get suitcase-nuked. The Eiffel Tower, the Louvre and the Arc de (chortle!) Triomphe would have been destroyed anyway, along with everything else. Another lesson, there - war is messy. I don't hear leftists carping about Monte Cassino.

Posted by: Dave S. at November 2, 2004 at 04:48 AM

"Penn deserves to be mauled by housecats."

Pah. Too good for him. Skeletonized by dust mites is more like it.

Posted by: Mike at November 2, 2004 at 05:00 AM


Mike, you put a "/" after ".jpg" so now your url won't show. People, any url that ends with a ".file" (anything -- ".html", ".gif") is a FILE and should not have the forward slash put after it. The "/" signifies a folder, not a file.


Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 2, 2004 at 05:27 AM

"As far as them blowing up the world to save it - well, Paris was about to get suitcase-nuked."

Hehe how great was it when one terrorist was trying to escape:

"There he is! He's heading into the Louvre!"
"I got it...!" (as she launches a stinger missile right through the front doors of the Louvre)

So great. I still laugh at the look of confusion/fear/shock they managed to get on the French puppets faces. Like... what the FUCK just happened???

Posted by: Dash at November 2, 2004 at 05:29 AM

Heavily armed Americans travelling the world kicking ass and taking names!

"What was his name?"


"Ok, look - next time, get his name before you waste him, huh?"

Posted by: mojo at November 2, 2004 at 06:06 AM

For balls and message, I give the movie a A plus plus plus... plus. For entertainment value, I give it a not entirely enthusiastic B.

I was actually put off by the gruesome mutilations of movie star puppets because I thought it took away from the better lines of the movie, like Mr. Ger-whatshername-alfo saying "As actors, it's our job to read the papers, and then go on television and repeat what we just read like it was our own opinion!" or Tim Robbins explaining to us how corporations make money. And Sean Penn was in Iraq.

Then again, even when they hammer how bad they hate movie stars THAT hard, people are still too dim to realize that the movie is taking a side, so I guess they didn't do enough. Team America's clueless patriotism is parodied, but in a sympathetic way. Kim Jong Il's Cartman incarnation was fantastic.

The songs were fuckin' brilliant. And painful. Everyone has AIDS!

Posted by: Sortelli at November 2, 2004 at 06:54 AM

Mr should have been Ms. Someday I'll conquer typos. But not today. It my addiction and you all should respect it!

Posted by: Sortelli at November 2, 2004 at 06:55 AM

Parker and Stone aren't pro-Bush, they're anti-pussy. I laughed as hard at the Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich episode as I did at Team America, since I'm basically on the Republican team because I merely dislike a lot of their platform instead of outright hating almost everything about it the way I do with the current incarnation of the Democratic party.

Posted by: LabRat at November 2, 2004 at 06:58 AM

Matt Damun!

Posted by: ccs178 (Chris) at November 2, 2004 at 06:59 AM

Sortelli, watch it, or you'll be channeling Margo. Surgery might be required.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 2, 2004 at 08:12 AM

Andrea -- sorry. I never had computing 101, so I'm doomed to learn this stuff under someone's disciplinary hand.

Posted by: Mike at November 2, 2004 at 08:32 AM

Love the comments, so restful.
Keep it coming y'all.

Posted by: Tom at November 2, 2004 at 09:24 AM

Just finished watching C411 and it does set alot of things straight but I refused to watch F911 so I didn't learn anything I didn't already agree with.

I had to buy the thing to balance out my son who recently graduated from college. The guy brings F911 into the house and boasts its the best movie of all time. For the sake of my wife who hates politicians and politics I bought C411 in the hopes it would balance it out. Geesh, what Moms will do for their first takes Dad to unravel...I hope:) Needless to say my son and I haven't spoken more than a few words in months :(

Bush 2004!!!!!!

Posted by: tej at November 2, 2004 at 09:44 AM

Mike: always glad to help! [smack!]

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 2, 2004 at 10:07 AM

You chould sharge for that, Andra.

*waves his poor spelling excuses defiantly at Jeff* MY FINGERS ARE COLD. God, it;s like... 75 degress in Arizona right now. I'm freezing

Posted by: Sortelli at November 2, 2004 at 10:21 AM

For people who haven't seen the movies, the main premise is that people (and countries) are either "dicks", "pussies", or "assholes".

The best part of the movie is at the end when they explain the relationships between dicks, pussies, and assholes. It's great because it is (1) funny as hell, and (2) pretty much frickin' true.

Posted by: David Crawford at November 2, 2004 at 10:23 AM

75 degrees, huh? Time to put on the thermal underwear and bunny slippers, Sortelli!

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 2, 2004 at 11:43 AM

it should come at no surprise that michael moore, the stupid fat man, is sending camera crews to a bunch of polling stations across the country. is that even allowed, to film at a polling booth? i bet they will make an exception for him.

Posted by: nicki at November 2, 2004 at 03:27 PM

nicki, I don't think they can film inside the polling station. But they can do exit interviews. That's been standard for years.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 2, 2004 at 04:03 PM

I was sad that Moore didn't get more lambasting. And I was sad France got off scott free.

Yes, the movie parodied patriotism - but it mostly tore into moronic liberal actors. It was truly glorious when Team America massacred the Hollywood elite.

There were mostly teenagers in my theatre who thought it was a hoot. There were some baby boomers who were visibly disturbed. The people of my city are so pathetically politically correct they were apalled by Stone making light of serious issues. Grow up liberals! Grab a sense of humour - after all you have some practive at humour taking Michael Moore seriously

Posted by: Jason at November 2, 2004 at 05:07 PM