September 16, 2004

NEW, IMPROVED KERRY EVEN MORE INCOHERENT

It’s day two of John Kerry’s New Toughness. Feel the wrath as this raging alpha rabbit vows bloody vengeance on his enemies during an interview with Don Imus:

In the radio interview, Kerry vowed to take on his rival in other ways. "We are punching back. I am absolutely taking the gloves off," Kerry said.

And he immediately scored a brutal hit -- on Imus, a Kerry supporter, who had this to say after the punchy, gloveless bunny angrily hopped away:

"I was just back in my office banging my head on the jukebox," Mr. Imus said. "This is my candidate, and ... I don't know what he's talking about."

Here’s the entire interview. The Imus-breaking moment might be in this exchange:

KERRY: I mean, what you ought to be doing and what everybody in America ought to be doing today is not asking me; they ought to be asking the president, What is your plan? What's your plan, Mr. President, to stop these kids from being killed?  What's your plan, Mr. President, to get the other countries in there?  What's your plan to have 90 percent of the casualties and 90 percent of the cost being carried by America?

IMUS: We're asking you because you want to be president.

Er, yes.

Posted by Tim Blair at September 16, 2004 10:48 PM
Comments

I didn't think he'd be much of a candidate, but I confess to being stunned at how badly Kerry is doing. It's starting to reach the feel sorry for him stage.

Posted by: Wilbur at September 16, 2004 at 11:03 PM

Not quite. It will be time to feel sorry for him after he loses.

Posted by: Just Another Bloody Lawyer at September 16, 2004 at 11:10 PM

Must have got all those purple hearts from shooting himself in the foot.

Posted by: Le clerc at September 16, 2004 at 11:21 PM

the best thing bush could do is just arrange for kerry to give interviews. my gawd, it's stunning how befuddled-yet-petulant kerry sounds.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 16, 2004 at 11:23 PM

if i were bush i would stop campaigning and simply arrange for kerry to give interviews every day. it's amazing how befuddled-yet-petulant he manages to sound, and be, i guess.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 16, 2004 at 11:31 PM

My favorite part was when he said in the interview: "I could not be more clear" and "I've been consistent". Poor Kerry: nobody understands him.

Posted by: Eric Lindholm at September 16, 2004 at 11:57 PM

I really liked the line in the interview about those poor kids with their arms grafted to their legs.

Is this some new tactic? Terroristic elective surgery?

Posted by: jack at September 17, 2004 at 12:20 AM

We're asking you because you want to be president.

Perfect. And it's unbelievable that this possibility hadn't occurred to Kerry. He is so mindspinningly incompetent and empty that I'm beginning to feel a bit sorry for him. He's going to retire Dukakis as the Democratic joke candidate punchline as Dukakis did for that seditious c*cksucker Carter before him.

Posted by: DrZin at September 17, 2004 at 12:23 AM

In all fairness to Dukakis, everyone knew what Dukakis was - a card carrying liberal. But, as far as I can tell, an honest one.

Nowadays, honesty doesn't do it for the democrats anymore. They have to go with an obvious liberal and pretend he's not, turn him into a war hero, and make up lies (memos) about the current sitting president.

Scoop Jackson is rolling in his grave.

TV (Harry)

Posted by: Inspector Callahan at September 17, 2004 at 01:25 AM


I agree -- Dukakis just misunderstood what America was looking for, and he ran a lousy campaign -- but I cringe when I hear Kerry ramble on, because I wonder if I sound that incoherent when I'm eight beers in the bag.

Posted by: Andrew at September 17, 2004 at 01:37 AM

I can't wait until the debates. Kerry's staff must be shaking in their boots wondering what this moron says.

I thoroughly disagree about him being an angry bunny, however. Any member of the Imperial Warren™ could whip Kerry's a@% in a New York minute. That includes one who weighs maybe 1 1/2 pounds. So he's not a bunny. A psychotic, rambling chipmunk, maybe, but not a bunny.

On a really good news note, a friend of my brother who is a die-hard Democrat is sitting this election out because he can't stand Kerry. One down, millions to go.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 17, 2004 at 01:57 AM

Amend that first sentence to "moron will say" rather than "moron says." Sheesh.

PIMF. Sorry.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 17, 2004 at 01:59 AM

"A psychotic, rambling chipmunk, maybe,"

Hamster. A caged hamster. Haven't you heard?

Posted by: Bill at September 17, 2004 at 02:04 AM

Crikies.. I'm just a lowly geologist who's terrible at 'reporting' in front of audiences, but I could STILL do better than this turd. "Hey, that volcano looks like it's about to blow." "Don't ask me! Those seismonitors were set at the wrong place and wrong time! (although I agreed with the original assessment.)"

Hey! I was in the Gulf for 4 1/2 mos and I have three, count em, THREE, bronze stars.. am I qualified like JFnK? I never fired a single shot but those pills we had to take sure gave me the runs. Shoulda wrote myself up, eh?

SPC VH, reporting for doo-dee!

*lame attempt at humour*

Posted by: Lydia at September 17, 2004 at 02:30 AM

oops, sorry about the double posts. it kept giving me "site not found" messages when i tried to post, so i posted agin n agin...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 17, 2004 at 03:08 AM

If you think this yutz couldn't get any worse, just remember Al Gore's slow descent into hell -- Kerry's got potential as the most entertaining loser of all time!

Posted by: geezer at September 17, 2004 at 03:46 AM

I'm appalled and embarrassed by John Kerry. I've voted Democrat more often than I've voted Republican, but I'm wondering if they'll ever get my vote again (not this year, at any rate) after this whole dog and pony show.

Posted by: Rebecca at September 17, 2004 at 03:47 AM

Kerry is now trailing in NJ!?! And Illinois - with an absolute disaster for a state republican party and with a terrible senate candidate - is within the statistical margin of error!?!

I know we hesitate to accept anything before we absolutely have it in the bag (the votes counted) but JFK is potentially the worst candidate in Democratic history - he will lose worse than Dukakis at this rate - Bush is within 10 points in NY - In NY!?!?! What next - California? BUsh now leads in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin - Missouri is fast becoming a Bush lock and Ohio is trending hard that way. I say we keep focusing on Memogate, because the race for the white house is over and Bush's coattails are going to be real long - the Senate Minority leader is in real trouble.

Posted by: JEM at September 17, 2004 at 03:48 AM

"On a really good news note, a friend of my brother who is a die-hard Democrat is sitting this election out because he can't stand Kerry. One down, millions to go."

Bonus - that means he won't be checking the (D) box for Congressional and local candidates, either.

Posted by: Dave S. at September 17, 2004 at 03:59 AM

What's really terrible is that Kerry probably actually does believe he's been clear and consistent. He is that detached from reality. Well, when do we have any evidence that he and reality were ever in the same area code, even? Vietnam? On the Gridley? Yale? Being from his class and marrying into huge, stinking gobs of money probably cut what little attachment he had.

I'm convinced, also, that indeed he CAN'T be more clear. This is as clear as it gets. Boy, those debates should be something. "Lock box" will probably go into well-deserved retirement.

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at September 17, 2004 at 04:02 AM

Audio of the amazing John Kerry is at http://wfan.com/imusinstantreplay/ wherein in spite of Imus's best efforts to liven him up, Kerry drones on.

Compare today's Mary Matalin interview, or any of the hundreds of others.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 17, 2004 at 05:29 AM

Bill: True. I forgot about that poor hamster.

Dave S: Also true. If the Idiot Kerry can keep the semi-sane Democrats away from the polls or voting Bush/Nader, that may lead to the Democratic party imploding. One can only hope.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 17, 2004 at 06:08 AM

Clue. Less.

The man is just simply clueless. Who the hell in the DNC thought he could win an election?

Posted by: Dr Alice at September 17, 2004 at 07:29 AM

Remember, as long as we keep Democrats focusing on two points 1) Bush is dumb 2) What Bush did in thew 1970s, then we win big.

Posted by: Quentin George at September 17, 2004 at 07:36 AM

Actually this sort of stuff probably doesn't hurt Kerry as much as calling Lambeau Field, Lambert Field.

Its the phoney man-of-the-people schtick that really cracks me up.

Posted by: Pig Head Sucker at September 17, 2004 at 10:46 AM

I don't think anyone was thought to beet Bush, untill H Clinton 08. Scarey!

Posted by: fred at September 17, 2004 at 10:53 AM

Looks like they took my "Everyone should stop asking questions" post for Joshua Michah Forbes Fountleroy Marshall seriously.

Posted by: Sortelli at September 17, 2004 at 12:39 PM

"Feel the wrath as this raging alpha rabbit vows bloody vengeance on his enemies"

Well,....Kerry's not exactly the rabbit of the Cave of Caerbannog in The Holy Grail, now is he?

Posted by: rinardman at September 17, 2004 at 01:36 PM

"Tribal sovereignty means that. It's sovereign. You're a ... you're a ... you've been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity."

Posted by: GWB at September 17, 2004 at 01:39 PM

Say there, Mr. Troll-with-the-handle-GWB--

When you sit in a room by yourself, late in the evening on Nov. 2nd, weeping, drinking hard liquor, and cleaning your pistol, do be sure to detail where you would like the body to be sent in the note. Common courtesy, you know, it will be one less grisly detail for your loved ones to have to take care of.

Posted by: Mike James at September 17, 2004 at 03:53 PM

Piggy -

It's endless - his favorite Red Sox player - Eddie Yost - who never played for the Red Sox -

Manny Ortiz - the incredible left handed and right handed slugger who plays LF and 1B at the same time

Posted by: Jack Tanner at September 18, 2004 at 04:16 AM

What the hell kinda Democrat can't carry New Jersey and gets (rightfully) dissed by Don Imus?

You don't have to answer that question. I think we all know the answer.

This registered Dem from NJ is voting for Bush this time.

Posted by: Parabellum at September 18, 2004 at 08:56 AM

I think I like the descripton of "empty suit" best for Kerry although donk, poodle, nancy boy, and jiggy(short for gigalo) are pretty good too. If he wanted to make it a real contest, he should have at least picked Gebhardt and not Mr. Smarmy. I pray that W holds his own in the debates. He does not have to do great, just hold his own. Kerry may have been a debater but he apparently can't come across this way now. Go W!

Posted by: Judith at September 19, 2004 at 05:19 PM

``Empty suit'' has changed since Carlyle. Compare this one, incidentally with the finest use of ``depend'' ever in English :

"Did not King _Toomtabard_, or, in other words, John Baliol, reign long over Scotland; the man John Baliol being quite
gone, and only the `Toom Tabard` (Empty Gown) remaining? What still dignity dwells in a suit of Cast Clothes! How
meekly it bears its honors! No haughty looks, no scornful gesture: silent and serene, it fronts the world; neither
demanding worship, nor afraid to miss it. The Hat still carries the physiognomy of its Head: but the vanity and the
stupidity, and goose-speech which was the sign of these two, are gone. The Coat-arm is stretched out, but not to strike;
the Breeches, in modest simplicity, depend at ease, and now at last have a graceful flow; the Waistcoat hides no evil
passion, no riotous desire; hunger or thirst now dwells not in it. Thus all is purged from the grossness of sense, from the
carking cares and foul vices of the World; and rides there, on its Clothes-horse; as, on a Pegasus, might some skyey
Messenger, or purified Apparition, visiting our low Earth."

http://classicauthors.net/Carlyle/SartorResartus/SartorResartus27.html

Not exactly Kerry. You'd figure him to be ready to strike.

In fact, remarkable thing! It's everything Kerry is not, except for the skyey messenger from outer space visiting our low earth, which might fit.

Posted by: Ron Hardin at September 20, 2004 at 10:10 AM

Disgusting, yet consistent really, but still he's right. Kerry needs to be coached on giving a speech. Kerry also needs to get more in depth too, and maybe when America goes more in depth with him they will see what Bush has under the sea too, A huge pile of bullshit and corruption.

Posted by: RWA minus the Dubya at September 23, 2004 at 01:37 PM