September 08, 2004

KERRY DEBATES SELF

George W. Bush -- you know, the stupid guy -- is currently batting John Kerry around like a long-jawed pinata:

"When the heat got on in the Democratic primary, he declared himself the anti-war candidate. More recently, he switched again, saying he would have voted for the war even knowing everything we know today. And he woke up yesterday morning with yet another new position. And this one is not even his own. It is that of his one-time rival, Howard Dean. He even used the same words Howard Dean did back when he supposedly disagreed with him."

Toast.

UPDATE. More Kerry Komedy here. As Glenn Reynolds says: "Is there anyone running this campaign?"

STUPID BUSH UPDATE. "Bush military record mediocre" reads the headline on an AP story on the Presidentís Air National Guard service. Scroll to the very last paragraph, however:

Bush made good grades, scoring an 88 on total airmanship and earning perfect 100 for flying without navigational instruments, operating a T-38 System and studying applied aerodynamics. Other scores ranged from 89 in flight planning to 98 in aviation physiology.

Posted by Tim Blair at September 8, 2004 02:47 PM
Comments

But...but...but...bush makes gaffes...!!!

Posted by: Quentin George at September 8, 2004 at 02:50 PM

Is this better than having Kerry talking to himself....and answering?

Enquiring minds aren't sure they want to know.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at September 8, 2004 at 03:01 PM
"Is there anyone running this campaign?"
Frick & Frack, I think. Posted by: Barbara Skolaut at September 8, 2004 at 03:05 PM

Foxnews contrasted the candidates beautifully overnight. Kerry was stilted, nuanced and patronising and looked to be sending his audience of rather strange looking people to comatosia. Dubya was bouncing through the down home folks crowd, all hi-yas and handshakes delivered with his trademark Alfred E Neuman smirk. As some Aussies say, "No wukkas".

Posted by: slatts at September 8, 2004 at 03:05 PM

Seriously, Kerry has to be the most inept candidate for years.

Posted by: Quentin George at September 8, 2004 at 03:15 PM

Simple...its a trick to get Bush to go on vacation till December..you know, wind surfing, Formula-1 racing, jousting, etc...then...then JFoK pounces in his secret hat, with 59 solid days of pure nuance...the country falls in love with him, and Lovey...Wins by 99% of the vote and the working class can get back to building the classless society...how do you say in English??...ppzzzzzzssssszzzz!

Posted by: JoJo at September 8, 2004 at 04:12 PM

Bush made good grades, scoring an 88 on total airmanship and earning perfect 100 for flying without navigational instruments, operating a T-38 System and studying applied aerodynamics. Other scores ranged from 89 in flight planning to 98 in aviation physiology.

But...but...gaffes!!!!

Posted by: Quentin George at September 8, 2004 at 05:13 PM

"The VVAW found me during a difficult time in my life, and I let them use me to advance their political agenda. They pressured me to tell their lies, but that's no excuse for what I did. I just want people to know the truth and to make amends as best I can. I'd hate to see the troops serving today have to go through what Vietnam veterans did."

Kerry's group would have been...lying, would they?

Would they?

Posted by: Quentin George at September 8, 2004 at 05:40 PM

I love "beating" similies.

During the RNC I read somewhere (Reason's Convention weblog?) that Bush was "beating Kerry like a retarded mule" and almost wet my pants. I'm also familiar with the "red-headed stepchild" similie and I've just clocked Tim's "pinata". Can anyone recommend some others?

Posted by: fidens at September 8, 2004 at 06:08 PM

Beating him like he was Rodney King.

Posted by: yobbo at September 8, 2004 at 06:56 PM

Beating him like a rented mule.

I've always liked that one.

Posted by: Ernie G at September 8, 2004 at 10:34 PM

Beating him like a bass drum at a heavy metal concert.

Posted by: R C Dean at September 9, 2004 at 12:13 AM

Not just toast. French toast.

Posted by: Latino at September 9, 2004 at 01:11 AM

And where is the press on JF'dKs service records?
Oh yeah, they have not looked for them yet...

Posted by: Crusader at September 9, 2004 at 01:48 AM

Maybe this is the Kerry campaign strategy. During the Primaries I was always hearing that the faceless Democrat candidate was the best choice. I think Kerry is trying to be that faceless candidate by not having any clear policies.

Posted by: drscroogemcduck at September 9, 2004 at 02:13 AM

...earning perfect 100 for flying without navigational instruments

Flying without navigational instruments?! What kind of stupid, ignorant Texas cowboy cocaine-snorting unilateralist Chimpler would fly without navigational instruments? Obviously, Bushitler is Unfit To Command...

Posted by: Tongue Boy at September 9, 2004 at 02:57 AM

I remember Michael Dukakis very deftly deflecting military service questions in '88 by quickly admitting he served as a low ranking conscript clerk (private?) in a peace time army.

He self effacingly said that he hunted and pecked at a typewriter with one finger. Everyone chuckled because lots of men in that generation could relate and it never was an issue again.

Bush the younger has been the same with Kerry, praising his service in 'Nam, saying how Kerry was certainly the more heroic of the two, etc.

But Kerry simply has nothing else to talk about so he keeps going back to his dog vomit.

Posted by: JDB at September 9, 2004 at 06:03 AM