May 09, 2004
FIGHT TO THE DEATH
If there’s one group on earth you don’t want to confront, it’s part-time French actors angered by planned cuts to their welfare benefits:
Six hundred riot police will shield this year's Cannes film festival from protests by part-time French actors angered by planned cuts to their welfare benefits, officials said on Friday.
Only six hundred cops? What if a freakin' mime militia turns up?
Posted by Tim Blair at May 9, 2004 06:22 AMBe prepared for the news coverage. Learn French hand gestures http://french.about.com/library/weekly/aa020901a.htm
“Unions representing some 60,000 to 100,000 part-time actors and technicians affected by the benefit cuts have vowed to disrupt Cannes.”
In culturally sensitive America, we call these people “waiters.”
Posted by: perfectsense at May 9, 2004 at 08:21 AMperfectsense,
you mean the usually bad service at French bistros and cafes is going to get... bad?
Posted by: c at May 9, 2004 at 08:23 AMIf a mime militia shows up, the cops can just put them all in a glass cage.
Posted by: rinardman at May 9, 2004 at 08:33 AMCannes cliffhanger:
Will proletariat champion Michael Moore boycott Cannes in support of the actors' Zolaesque strike?
Will the bourgeois self-made millionaire join the communists in their demand for more escargot and butter?
What are Moore's real priorities: workers' welfare and union demands or his own big money and big boss interests?
Stay tuned for the unsurprising ending...
Ron, thank you a million times for the link to French resources. Now I can speak (so to speak) my mind to people who piss me off, and they won't be able to understand me, because it's... well... in French.
Posted by: Rebecca at May 9, 2004 at 09:10 AMAnd if my post seemed frivolous, well, it's about the French after all.
Posted by: Rebecca at May 9, 2004 at 09:12 AMWaiters are called servers. As in, ``How long have you been a server, Honey?'' Sensitivity is everything.
Posted by: Ron Hardin at May 9, 2004 at 09:39 AMThe mime militia is already on their way, but since they're walking against a strong wind, they may be a late. A spokesman for the mimes made the following statement at a press conference: "..............!"
Posted by: Siergen at May 9, 2004 at 09:53 AMNo wonder a lot of those French movies are so bad, and have such a small group of fans. These actors have no incentive to make any movies worth watching since the state pays them.
Of course, I'm just an uncultured American who would much rather watch a 'Lord of The Rings' movie than one of the subtitled French ones.
I bet if the people who make those French films didn't have state handouts they'd make some films worth watching.
Posted by: Chris Josephson at May 9, 2004 at 10:46 AMOr maybe they wouldn't make films at all. It's a win-win!
Posted by: Sortelli at May 9, 2004 at 11:21 AMPerhaps a young Corsican artillery captain will appear on the scene, unlimber a battery of guns manned by cheerful, mustachioed, sardonic legionnaires, and disperse the angry crowd with a "whiff of grapeshot". Now that would make a film worth seeing...oh wait never mind they already made one like it.
Posted by: Paul H. at May 9, 2004 at 11:45 AMWaitaminnit, we're missing something here...
The French pay actors _not to act._
Finally, a good idea from a socialist country!
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at May 9, 2004 at 01:38 PMAre you kidding? Do you know what kind of trouble these rocket scientists can get into when they're not busy acting? It is like leaving children unsupervised.
Posted by: Sortelli at May 9, 2004 at 02:31 PMOnly 600 to take on an army of dole bludging part-time french actors, my god, it will be a massacre, providing the 600 don't wave a white flag first and fill thier pisotls with cement, strip off their uniforms and flee, naked, through the streets of Paris and collect tax money for live performance art along the way.
There is a silver lining, however, Oz's part-time dole collecting actors and actresses should be exiled to france where they will receive everything they believe they deserve. That Oz might be accused of launching more wmds into France is beside the point, Aussies can live with being labelled war monsters on this.
Sortelli — yes, but if they don't act they can't get famous, and if they're not famous idiots they're just voters and we can ignore them. _ Everyone_ ignores voters...
Posted by: richard mcenroe at May 9, 2004 at 02:44 PMIf a mime militia shows up, the cops can just put them all in a glass cage.
Curse you, rinardman! I had precisely the same thought just two seconds after I read it.
600 hundred anti riot cops to control mild mannered folm extras used to being pushed around by directors?
Could this be another PC excuse for guearding against islamic terrorism?
Nah of course not.
Better lay off giving coalition country movies and prizes though.
If the mimes show up they can turn a giant wind machine on them, hyuk hyuk!
Posted by: Amos at May 9, 2004 at 06:24 PMSo, if you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?
Posted by: Cybrludite at May 9, 2004 at 09:34 PM"So, if you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?"Don't shoot them. A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
Hope they've sandbagged the place, in case of suicide-sopranos.
Posted by: Habib at May 10, 2004 at 12:20 AMThe good news is, if the unemployed stunt drivers try to plant car bombs, they'll be using those tiny little Fiats and Minis Remy Julien taught them to use, so how much damage can they really do ("Merde! Mon ankle!")?
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at May 10, 2004 at 02:00 AMVexorg — NEVER let an actor write its own lines. Gets ugly early.
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at May 10, 2004 at 09:08 AM