March 22, 2004
PHORGETFUL PHIL
Phillip Adams recalls the glory days of the mid-70s, when he’d lounge about in Cannes waiting for brilliant movie plots to enter his mind years before they occurred to anybody else:
Sipping coffee on the Croisette, watching the paparazzi swarm at the merest hint of a suggestion that Clint Eastwood might be about to emerge from his suite at The Carlton, I came up with a bittersweet idea. A devious Australian would announce a film starring Paul Newman, Peter O’Toole, Robert Redford, Gregory Peck, James Stewart, Shirley MacLaine and Julie Andrews – and sell it to international distributors on a hit-and-run visit to the world’s most powerful film festival. Only when he’d laughed all the way to the Bank of New South Wales would the truth emerge. That his megastars were merely Australian namesakes picked from capital city phone books. In other words, it would be a scam movie, the sort of thing that, down the track, Mel Brooks would do for Broadway with The Producers.
Down the track? The Producers first screened in 1968, several years prior to Phil’s Cannes inspiration. Anticipate the usual apology and correction tomorrow.
Posted by Tim Blair at March 22, 2004 03:39 AMAnd I wrote a really shitty play a decade ago that's remarkably similar to that "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" movie. Like Phil, I wisely shared it with no one so its awfulness wouldn't distract from my ability to bitch about the thievery today. I think I'll see if Phil wants to start a Wronged Geniuses Society with me.
Posted by: Rodya at March 22, 2004 at 04:37 AMPisser. This is almost the exact scenario the Bunyip prophesied a couple of weeks back, of a melancholy Phil contemplating his lack of relevance to anyone-
"When the darkness comes -- and that mirror says it isn't dawdling -- what will you have done to set your footprints in the stone of immortality?"-(Bunyip)
Cue the inane "I coulda been a contender" claptrap Tim linked to.
"Tired and exhausted and short on inspiration, but a player all the same. A few more years, a few more chances to be noticed."-(Bunyip)
He can get a star named after him for $29.95 (US). The 10th planet might be available. Neptune, Pluto, Phil. They've temporarily named it after some Aztec babe but that can be changed.
Posted by: Ron Hardin at March 22, 2004 at 09:56 AMIt is accurate, however, in that the production involved in the scam in The Producers was supposed to be a flop- very much like everything Fat Boy Fat has had anything to do with. Unfortunately for Phil, none of his stuff has been so awful it has been a hit, like Springtime For Hitler.
Get back to causing earth tremors, Tubby.
As to planet names, surely Phil is entitled to recognition as a celestial body, as he generates his own gravity?
Posted by: Habib at March 22, 2004 at 10:25 AMPhil is now of course working on his own "Springtime for Saddam"...he spelt GrattAn street wrong too.
Posted by: Monco at March 22, 2004 at 12:00 PMWhat about one based on the turmoil in rugby league? "Springtime For Fittler" as a working title. Even got some song lyrics under development- "If you're a cutie, called Jane or April or Mary, Come down to the room of the boyz from Canterbury"
Posted by: Habib at March 22, 2004 at 12:23 PMIs it a trait of the left that they the invent stuff to justify their positions?
There was a columnist - Dale Spender, in the Courier-Mail a few years ago who gave us her Road to Damascus conversion to the left from being a conservative.
It all occurred in the Vietnam War conscription days when she suffered the trauma of seeing her high school students losing the lottery and being drafted into the army. She endured this calamaty of distraught students receiving the news and being plucked away from their family and friends and being shunted off to war.
The conscription issue may well have been a defining issue for her but the scenario she created for her readers was pure fiction. When telling lies you need to get your details right and poor Dale got things hopelessly muddled.
Her problem was that young men registered for National Service when they turned 20. Ms Spender would never have had 20 year olds in her high school class where students finished at 18 and at most 19 let alone seen them wailing at the prospect of going off to war.
I took great delight in referring this piece of fiction come fact to Media Watch and to my great surprise it was aired much to Spender's deserved embarassment , I'm sure.
Posted by: amortiser at March 22, 2004 at 01:02 PMCongratulations, Mr. Adams, you now own 120% of "Springtime for Pilger".
Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at March 22, 2004 at 01:08 PMAre you sure, amortiser? Maybe Dale Spender was in the slow classes with all the boys who'd been "held back" a year or two. I know at least one man in my neighborhood who didn't graduate from high school until he was 20, and even that took some time in summer school to accomplish.
Posted by: Dr. Weevil at March 22, 2004 at 01:48 PM"Is it a trait of the left that they the invent stuff to justify their positions?"
Yeah, amortiser, like those irritating lefties Peter Reith and John Howard and the "children overboard" invention.
I know this is totally unrelated but just thought some of you might like to know that Sheik Yassin, the 'spiritual leader of Hamas, just dropped into hell thanks to some Israeli testicular fortitude represented in the form of a missile hitting the King Cockroach's car. Thank G-d they finally did it. What a great day for western civilization!!!!
Posted by: Dead Ed at March 22, 2004 at 02:20 PMAnd George Bush has been stealing Aboriginal children.
Posted by: Habib at March 22, 2004 at 02:20 PMAnd George Bush has been stealing Aboriginal children.
They taste delicious when dipped in stolen oil!
Posted by: Sortelli at March 22, 2004 at 02:53 PM"Yeah, amortiser, like those irritating lefties Peter Reith and John Howard and the "children overboard" invention."- "Sincerity Slips"
Hehe, here we go, another fuknuckle who genuinely believes that the mantra "children overboard" will defeat any argument.
The big one-two punch of the anti-Howard nut case.
Mortgage rates 17% under Labor, 6% under Howard? "Yeah but what about children overboard".
Howard frees East Timor after Keating spends years giggling about it with "Papa" Suharto? "But what about children overboard"
Strongest economy in decades under Howard/Costello? "Children overboard" trumps it, and is usually expressed with either
a. a demented Rainman-like intensity or
b. is solemnly intoned with all the outward trappings of a grieved, heavy heart that leaves the listener in no doubt that said nutcase is even willing to pretend that he/she/it bears a huge burden for the supposed slur on the good names of a welfare-shopping bunch of arseholes who thought nothing of scuttling their own boats loaded with their own kids in a game of chicken with the navy.
It doesnt matter that theyd be correctly demanding 20-to-life for white Australians acting like this, so long as they can take another self-righteous shot at that successful bastard John Howard on a technicality.
I'm sure you try hard, Max, but you only had a couple of lines to digest.
"Is it a trait of the left that they the invent stuff to justify their positions?" amortiser asked.
Whilst the truth of the answer doesn't measure well against your "successful bastard John Howard", there is ample evidence that John Howard knowingly used the lie Peter Reith tried to peddle of children overboard.
Yes, the economy was sailing well at the last election. Correct, but irrelevant.
The item for discussion was inventing stories to suit a position, something which John Howard was guilty of.
What, do you trolls all room at the same dorm and take turns at the computer? Where's Miranda -- let her have her turn!
Posted by: Andrea Harris at March 22, 2004 at 08:32 PMThe blogmire cannot blogcontain our blogcollected blogwisdom, blogheads! Go back to your blogracist warblogging, I'll be blogback bloglater!
Posted by: Sortelli Divide at March 22, 2004 at 08:36 PMto steal a phrase off the professor...."whats your secret Phill you sly old bastard"?
Posted by: cugel at March 23, 2004 at 01:01 AM"Sincerity slips", did you mean to say
"The truth of the answer doesn't measure well against your "successful bastard John Howard", as there is ample evidence that John Howard knowingly used the lie Peter Reith tried to peddle of children overboard."?
Spewin you couldnt fit that "whilst" in properly.
Dont recall Howard getting pinged either, but thats beside the point.
My post wasnt trying to refute or debate your "item of discussion". (The first line was intended to read "another fuknuckle who genuinely believes that the mantra "children overboard" is the answer to any argument" rather than "will defeat any argument")
It was referring to the lameness of the Left's continual celebration/invocation of what was, in its effect on the voting public at least, a pretty ordinary political scalping.
Nearly 3 years down the track, the left still trots out the hackneyed "children overboard" chestnut at every opportunity.
In just the last 7 days there were 10 letters and articles in the fairfax press that contained variations on the theme of "Well what do you expect from the government that brought us "children overboard"".
I realise the Left founded a never-ending fountain of moral superiority with that small victory, but I reckon the need for the average Lefty to continually couch criticism of the Howard govt in various "children overboard" themes highlights a lack of substance and conviction in the criticism. After all, a percieved (and usually misdirected) righteousness isn't going to stand up to well against the common-sense, quantifiable achievements of Howard and the Right.
You know, things like having the courage, balls and conviction to fight an expensive war on terrorism whilst maintaining a world-leading economy, bringing peace to Timor and the Solomons, low unemplyment, inflation and interest rates etc..
It must be disheartening to realise that a graying Margo and other "heroes" of the left will probably still be trying to use that crappy ammunition in 20 years time, but then again, theres not much else to go on.
What astounds me about the whole "children overboard" crap is that they actually deliberately sank the boat, which, as anyone who has ever been on a boat would realise, is infinitely more dangerous than throwing someone overboard.
But the LLs keep trotting this out as part of the "we was robbed" election analysis. Has anyone, anywhere, ever met anyone who changed their vote because of this incident (or Tampa). Not likely.
Posted by: Jimi at March 23, 2004 at 10:21 AM