March 18, 2004


Iím not actually writing this post. My slave boy Trang is. Write faster, Trang, or Iíll take away your calipers! And donít get any ideas about joining any unions, either:

American unions have attacked the proposed US-Australia free trade agreement as unacceptable and likely to cost US jobs in official reports to Congress, which will decide whether the deal goes ahead.

An alleged lack of protection for child workers, restrictions on workers' rights to choose their union and limits on workers' ability to bargain collectively also were cited as examples of Australia's "imbalanced, inadequate" labour laws.

Teamsters Union president James Hoffa ... claimed that the FTA's language "is insufficient to ensure that core labour standards will be respected in Australia".

Australia, while it had a vibrant labour movement, "has an imbalanced, inadequate system of labour laws that fail to fully protect workers' core rights", he said.

Careful, James. Donít anger us. You donít want to end up in Australian meat pies like your daddy. Remember, our powerful and secretive forces have already deep-sixed the anti-Australian Edwards campaign.

Trang! Close the damn tag! Close it or Iíll ...

Stupid slave boy.

Posted by Tim Blair at March 18, 2004 01:22 PM

BEARER...GUN BEARER...Fuck, these coolies are so goddam unreliable. You get what you pay for since the minimum wage was abolished.. what? It still exists. Bugger. Next you'll be telling me I have to pay superannuation and workers compensation insurance.

Posted by: Razor at March 18, 2004 at 01:55 PM

bloody hell, My damn house boy has run off again. I thinkthe little bastard has been sneaking my scotch. That creature will get such a whipping when he returns. Can't mix a martini worth a damn either. Oh give me the days of the maharishi. Now then Slaves knew heir place. I blame it on american tv mind You. You just can't get good help these days.

Posted by: Todd at March 18, 2004 at 02:20 PM

I was all for slavery until I realised how much it would cost to have my toenails cut. Forget anything else - the demarcation rules prescribe one slave for each task.

Posted by: d at March 18, 2004 at 02:55 PM

I wonder how the ACTU feels about Hoffa's comments? So much for the International Brotherhood.

Posted by: Simon at March 18, 2004 at 03:12 PM

So our union movement says it will cost Australian jobs, and their union movements says it will cost US jobs? Where will these jobs go? Will they disappear somewhere over the Pacific. Its a shame their processed food lobby wasnt stronger than their sugar lobby, and had managed to get sugar included. Then again, its a shame their entertainment lobby wasnt stronger, and had managed to gut the Australian content requirements.

Posted by: Paul Dub at March 18, 2004 at 03:14 PM

Tim be sure and give Trang an extra helping of gruel - The little guy deserves it for diggin up dirt on Mister smileface John Edwards.

Posted by: Papertiger at March 18, 2004 at 03:22 PM

"thank the french. because of them we're all going to heaven. hell's full"

Posted by: aaron at March 18, 2004 at 03:46 PM

Hmmn, Paul Dub, perhpas if they swapped jobs -ha ha ha ha ha ha - they canof Oz jobs and Oz unionists can have the jobs of Hoffa and his gangsters. Seems fair enough to me. Perhpas we could give you lot in the U.S. a few of Oz's oppressed yartz artistes also, consider it a special deal.
No, no no. You keep Hoffa,and still get the Yartz yobs.
O.K., you lot in the U.S. drive a hard bargain, we'll also throw in Wally Curran, Gallagher, the current heads of BLF, MEU and a few other outfits resembling someething like Al Capone or the Mafia, take your pick. Anyway,can't get a deal much better than that eh, a ten for swap, you take 30 of ours for everyone of yours we take.

Doesn't sound right - ah, I've made a mistake, you take 200 of our crims at the exchange rate of half of one yours.

Whew, that was hard bargaining but, heck, who are Aussies to protest.

Posted by: d at March 18, 2004 at 03:48 PM

How wonderful that American unions are looking out for Australian laborers by eliminating the opportunities for them to exercise their labor. They're all heart.

Be sure that Trang understands that along with liberation from unfair labor practices that the American Democratic party would provide, they would also liberate him from a fair chance of entering university what with Asians being "over-represented" and all.

Posted by: DrZin at March 18, 2004 at 04:27 PM

Does Trang have a sister Tim?

Posted by: Yobbo at March 18, 2004 at 04:57 PM

Yeah, but I got dibs on her.

Posted by: David Gillies at March 18, 2004 at 05:59 PM

Tim, As an American I must ask for your forgiveness. There are few on earth stoooopider than the leadership of America's unions. No wonder even the "u" is gone from labor in America. Very few workers belong any more and the leadership is off on cloud nine most of the time -- let's face it they backed a Gephardt in the primaries and before that they backed Clinton who then turned around and rammed NAFTA through.

I am, however, upset that apparently you are being sarcastic about your slave girl. You see upon reading Hoffa's report, I had planned to move my sulphuric acid plant to Australia so that I could employ cheap refugee kids in the, ahem, "messy" work of pouring acid into bottles. But I gather from your sarcasm, that I'll have to keep to my plans to move it to North Korea.

Your loss . . . .

Posted by: Lewis at March 18, 2004 at 07:16 PM

The good news is that such sloppy tactics eventually backfire. When you accuse Australia of having unfair labor practices and negligent environmental standards, people start to wonder if these accusations made against every other country in the world are just a big a crock as they are here.

Posted by: mj at March 19, 2004 at 12:24 AM

Yeah, what is it with you third worlders and your child sweat shops? And how come I can't find a good Aussie gardener? And when the hell is my next Aussie Mail-order Bride catalog going to finally arrive? And why dou you insiust on keepiung that supeurfluous "u" in yuour speulliung?

Posted by: Ken Summers at March 19, 2004 at 12:47 AM


Mr Blair has a slave boy because, as we all know, he prefers asexual reproduction.

Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at March 19, 2004 at 05:38 AM

Is Trang still a slave if you pay him three cents?

Posted by: TimT at March 19, 2004 at 08:55 AM

Is 'Tommy' Blair a member of the Media, Entertainment & Arts Alliance, or does he just attend their black-tie dinners?

Posted by: Miranda Divide at March 19, 2004 at 12:20 PM

You forgot to mention the expensive wine.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at March 19, 2004 at 01:05 PM

There's no time for dinner when lunch is so long.

Posted by: Sortelli at March 19, 2004 at 03:16 PM