January 29, 2004

AT LEAST HE'S CONSISTENT

John Kerry has one victory speech:

Those little crowd participation deals ("Bring! It! On!" … "When I'm president!" … "The only thing to fear is me itself!") are borderline tolerable the first time, pretty damned annoying in Round 2.

He has one physical gesture:

He thrusts his index finger at the audience in an overhead arc again and again, as though launching a projectile.

He has one joke:

Kerry grinds out this excruciating gag (he calls it a “story”) every chance he gets, drawing pitiful applause from people who can’t remember the same joke referring to Clinton, the first George Bush, Reagan, and Nixon. One oldtimer has the fossilised witticism pegged to Harry S.

And, if those Botox rumours are to be believed, he's got only one facial expression. Pity he’s got more than one policy about the war -- and on more than one war, as it happens.

Posted by Tim Blair at January 29, 2004 10:44 PM
Comments

here's a question i wish someone would ask kerry at one of these 'debates':

"Senator Kerry, why should the people trust you with their money when your own wife won't even trust you with hers?"

hee-hee

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 30, 2004 at 12:36 AM

tim you seem to just start bagging whichever Democrat appears to be the "leading" one at the time. Although you dont try and hide your purely partisan motives behind a "centrist" front (far too right wing for that), don't you think its a little pathetic and umm.....desperate?

If you're that worried about your beloved Bush getting rolled by whoever wins the nomination, just admit it.

Posted by: Tom at January 30, 2004 at 12:40 AM

If a Howard Dean or Dennis Kucinich idea springs to mind, Tom, I'll run it.

You'll notice that my post on Kerry's lame joke went up when he was far from leading. And I've posted before on Kucinich, who has NEVER led.

And, by the way, I (obviously) don't think anything I write will alter the course of this election at all. Kerry happens to be big in the news right now; that's why these weird things about him spring to mind. No conspiracy here.

Posted by: tim at January 30, 2004 at 12:48 AM

well of course its no conspiracy or shady republican funded attempt to affect the election. You're just a supporter of Bush who wants him to win the next election.

Yes, you may have made a couple of jokes about the others in the past. But why are you trying to deny that you are clearly gouging the front runner? You've been spinning against dean almost daily for weeks! And since oh, hmmm, Iowa, you seem to have been going at Kerry instead.

Of course you will not really effect the outcome of the election, but it still seems to show that you desperately want to convince yourself and the conservative circle jerk that whoever comes up against Bush is useless. Its quite obvious to anyone reading not just your site but most of the sonservative bloggers out there.

And I'd say it shows a growing realisation among conservative bloggers that

a) democrats have a huge, sane, middle class power base who are well organised and motivated(they arent just "Al Queda cheer squads" or baathist sympathisers)

and

b) Bush is looking very shaky right now

Posted by: Tom at January 30, 2004 at 12:58 AM

Tom,

Let's put $50 on the election, shall we?

Posted by: tim at January 30, 2004 at 01:36 AM

Tom, Tom, Tom. I'm neither conservative nor a blogger, but having watched Kerry up close for many years, can assure you that Tim is having very light-hearted fun with the guy, compared to what rightfully awaits him on the big stage.

BTW, a large chunk of the "huge, sane, middle class power base" of the Dems has voted GOP at the presidential level, intermittently, starting with Reagan -- and largely because of national security concerns that today of course are even more front and center. As for Bush being shaky, of course only one poll next November will really count, but my Dem political consultant friends tell a very different story, based on ongoing surveys and electoral math. Time will tell.

Meanwhile, a quick look at various conservative bloggers has shown them to be desperately trying to convince themselves that, in fact, Kerry would be acceptable, as part of their garment-rending over Bush's apostasy (spending, immigration, and now -- yikes! -- increased federal arts subsidies).

Posted by: IceCold at January 30, 2004 at 01:42 AM

yes, the democrats do have a huge, sane middle class power base, and enough of them voted for george w the first time around, and i think enough will this time around too. or at least so i hope...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 30, 2004 at 01:45 AM

great minds think alike, ice (my slow-assed typing and need to appear to be working accounts for the time disparity in our post)

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 30, 2004 at 01:48 AM

He may have poofy hair and a Botoxed face, but at least he's not fat!

Posted by: vaara at January 30, 2004 at 02:47 AM

But why are you trying to deny that you are clearly gouging the front runner? You've been spinning against dean almost daily for weeks! And since oh, hmmm, Iowa, you seem to have been going at Kerry instead.

Kerry was ignored by a lot of people when it looked like his campaign was going nowhere. Now that he's the frontrunner the spotlight is on him and he's being talked and written about a lot more now. Nothing unusual in that. Goofballs like Kucinich are always fun to comment on but the guy leading the pack will always get the most attention. For months it was Dean. Now it's Kerry.

I almost compeletely ignored Kerry on my own blog for months because I thought he was a crashingly boring old school pol. I still think he is but now he's the frontrunner so I'm writing about him. That's how it works.

Posted by: Randal Robinson at January 30, 2004 at 03:05 AM

Tim - $50 bucks on the election sounds good.

And a large number of Democrates voted Nader at the last election. Maybe the Bush cheer squad needs to start chattering on the importance of someone with the credibility and electability of Nader entering the race this year?

Posted by: Tom at January 30, 2004 at 03:39 AM

Did I mention that I was in Vietnam?
How dare you question my patriotism.

Posted by: John Kerry at January 30, 2004 at 04:02 AM

I always find it revealing when someone has to tell you how huge they are. And how sane, for that matter.

Posted by: charles austin at January 30, 2004 at 04:32 AM

Tom's rant all makes sense now. If 3% is large (Nader voters in the last election), I can understand why yhe'd think that perhaps 6-9% is huge (middle class power base).

Before you whine about Nader costing Al Gore the election any longer (and of course, that can only happen after you stop complaining about Bush being selected for President by the US Supreme Court), just remember that if it wasn't for Ross Perot Bill Clinton would never had had a first term, and we'd all be speaking about the George H. W. Bush boom of the 90's -- actually the Andy Grove and Bill Gates boom, but that's another story.

Posted by: charles austin at January 30, 2004 at 04:44 AM

Delete last comment -- substitute this one.

Tom's rant all makes sense now. If 3% is large (Nader voters in the last election), I can understand why he'd think that perhaps 6-9% is huge (middle class power base).

But before you whine about Nader costing Al Gore the election any longer (and of course, that can only happen after you stop complaining about Bush being selected for President by the US Supreme Court), just remember that if it wasn't for Ross Perot, Bill Clinton would never have had a first term, and we'd all be speaking about the George H. W. Bush boom of the 90's -- actually the Andy Grove and Bill Gates boom, but that's another story.

Posted by: charles austin at January 30, 2004 at 04:46 AM

"tim you seem to just start bagging whichever Democrat appears to be the 'leading' one at the time."

Welcome to Earth. Be sure to write to Letterman, Leno, Conan, Jon Stewart...

Posted by: Jim Treacher at January 30, 2004 at 05:02 AM

I'm just happy to be rid of Edwards here in NC. Hopefully (Fish) Bowles will lose (again) in his attempt at the Senate.
The Dems have lost ground here in the south, and as a proud member of the lower middle class, other than Zell Miller, can't think of a Dem I'd vote for. Though by no means do I think that Dubya will win by a land-slide, I think he will win, but it will be tight. But I just do not see a swell of support for the Dems by the middle class.

Posted by: Crusader at January 30, 2004 at 05:09 AM

As someone who may well vote Republican this year, I think Tom is right. I mean, Kerry has finally tapped into some messages that reverberate strongly in general elections -- "Republicans are for the Rich, I'm for the Little Guy," and "I'm for Education," and "I'm for Peace!" Really, how does one counter these startling, fresh new themes?

Posted by: Jerry at January 30, 2004 at 05:25 AM

don't get too sanguine there on tobacky road just yet, crusader, as i imagine you'll be getting mr edwards back long before november...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 30, 2004 at 05:43 AM

Tom and Tim,

Instead of wagering $50 on the election, how about the loser buying the other guy lunch? I understand Tim's lunches can be worth quite a bit more than $50.

Posted by: Polly at January 30, 2004 at 06:05 AM

"As someone who may well vote Republican this year, I think Tom is right. I mean, Kerry has finally tapped into some messages that reverberate strongly in general elections -- "Republicans are for the Rich, I'm for the Little Guy," and "I'm for Education," and "I'm for Peace!" Really, how does one counter these startling, fresh new themes?"

I thought the Democratic playbook was to take Mein Kampf and replace all refernces to "Jews" with "The Rich"...........

Posted by: Crusader at January 30, 2004 at 06:36 AM

Tom, settle down, mate. If Kerry's the kind of Ketchup King you think he is, nothing Tim can say will damage his hard, crunchy, red, tomato-y coating.

He will cruise into the White House and Tim, me and all the other posters here can getting ready our "No Blood for Ketchup" signs after Kerry orders the troops into Spain.

Posted by: Quentin George at January 30, 2004 at 06:38 AM

"don't get too sanguine there on tobacky road just yet, crusader, as i imagine you'll be getting mr edwards back long before november..."

Yeah, no shortage of ambulances to be chased here.....

Posted by: Crusader at January 30, 2004 at 06:47 AM

maybe president edwards will invade iraq with class action suits?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at January 30, 2004 at 08:52 AM

"I thought the Democratic playbook was to take Mein Kampf and replace all refernces to "Jews" with "The Rich"..........."

Borrowed from American Kafir at Strategypage.

Posted by: Crusader at January 30, 2004 at 11:25 AM

I'm still reeling over the idea of Michael Moore getting botox injections and poofy hair. MY EYES!! MY EYES!!

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at January 30, 2004 at 11:49 AM

I know in this corner of America we all base our election decisions on what Australian columnists have to say.

Posted by: Duke at January 30, 2004 at 01:05 PM

In fairness to John Kerry, his changing facial features might not necessarily be botox-induced.

Last year, he was treated for prostate cancer, during which he lost a lost of weight. He might just have put some weight back on, making his face look less gaunty and lined.

I wouldn't worry about the botox - after all, Berlusconi in Italy "got his eyes done", and I still think he rocks.

Posted by: steve at January 30, 2004 at 03:23 PM

Errr, I meant to say "gaunt" - not "gaunty".

Posted by: steve at January 30, 2004 at 03:25 PM

I know in this corner of America we all base our election decisions on what Australian columnists have to say.

You better. You don't won't Phillip Adams sneering at you because you elected representives on issues he knows nothing about.

Posted by: Quentin George at February 1, 2004 at 07:44 AM