October 15, 2003

QUOTE O' THE WEEK

"Liberal TV is dead on arrival. You just can't do it."

Posted by Tim Blair at October 15, 2003 04:56 AM
Comments

characterizing it as a combination of CNN and MTV.

Whoppee, I can't wait to see this! What are they going to do, have Al Gore tongue piercing competitions, Wolf Blitzer groin grinding contests, Paula Zahn playing the cello in a wet t-shirt?

Posted by: wallace at October 15, 2003 at 05:41 AM

Maybe they'll do like a "Real World" show where they put Al Gore, Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton, Susan Sarandon, and Al Franken all together in a big house and watch them "get real" with each other:

Al Gore: God, Michael you are such a fat slob. Every time I come into this room you've left *bleep* all over the place that I've got to clean up. And when was the last time you changed that t-shirt? July?

Michael Moore: Hey calm the *bleep* down Gorebot, or you might overload the human emotion chip in your motherboard.

Susan Sarandon: Oh gross, I just caught that creepy Al Franken sneaking a peak at me again in the shower. I swear the next time I catch him doing that I'm going to cut his balls off and wear them around my neck as a trophy.

Hillary Clinton: Hey, calm down guys. If I could put up with eight years of my husband dropping trou for every skank who came within shouting distance of his zipper then we can certainly put up with each other here for just a few months.

Posted by: Randal Robinson at October 15, 2003 at 06:41 AM

Jeanine Garafalo is a whip cream bikini. I just_can't_wait.

Posted by: Tongue Boy at October 15, 2003 at 07:57 AM

"in", you twit, "in". How freaking hard can it be to preview *one* sentence?

[stomps off in a huff]

Posted by: Tongue Boy at October 15, 2003 at 07:59 AM

The article had a very good point about younger people getting their news from the internet -- either my age group doesn't care about news, or we do and go online. TV and print is useless and prevaricating.

Posted by: Tim in PA at October 15, 2003 at 08:09 AM

Dang. Are condescending urban liberals ever going to get a media outlet?

Posted by: iowahawk at October 15, 2003 at 09:27 AM

Which of the following does not belong with the others:
a) "Young"
b) "Hip"
c) "Al Gore"

Posted by: Bruce Rheinstein at October 15, 2003 at 10:07 AM

If only Bob Dole had done it, he'd have won the election for sure :)

-Vic

Posted by: vicarious at October 15, 2003 at 10:40 AM

The ABC then is conclusive proof of life after death.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at October 15, 2003 at 11:43 AM

Fox News senior vice president of advertising and market research, Paul Rittenberg, said "The problem with being associated as liberal is that they wouldn't be going in a direction that advertisers are really interested in. We don't get business for being conservative, we get business because the ratings are good and we believe that we're fair."

Well said Mr Rittenberg.

Imagine - those condescending urban liberals, cruelly abandoned by advertisers. Well, it's ano-brainer, the mass audience consists of working families adding value to the actual economy, producing children etc.

Expect to see urban liberals die out soon.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 15, 2003 at 12:17 PM

Fox News senior vice president of advertising and market research, Paul Rittenberg, said "The problem with being associated as liberal is that they wouldn't be going in a direction that advertisers are really interested in. We don't get business for being conservative, we get business because the ratings are good and we believe that we're fair."

Well said Mr Rittenberg.

Imagine - those condescending urban liberals, cruelly abandoned by advertisers. Well, it's ano-brainer, the mass audience consists of working families adding value to the actual economy, producing children etc.

Expect to see urban liberals die out soon.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 15, 2003 at 12:19 PM

Paula Zahn playing the cello in a wet t-shirt

I'd watch that. No sure about Janeane Garofalo in a whip cream bikini, though.

Posted by: R C Dean at October 15, 2003 at 01:45 PM

In the history of television has anyone whose stated aim was for a "younger" and "hipper" audience ever succeeded in achieving one?

Were I lucky enough to be young and/or hip, I'd run screaming for Poirot. However, a grubby, chubby Janeane Garofalo covered in tat's might make me change directions.

Posted by: S.A. Smith at October 15, 2003 at 01:49 PM

$70 mil - wonder what that kind of money can do for the poor.

Posted by: Sandy P. at October 15, 2003 at 03:18 PM

Paula Zahn - described on CNN as "just a little bit sexy."

In other words: not very sexy at all.

Posted by: George at October 15, 2003 at 03:57 PM

JEFF KENNET FOR KING !!

Posted by: Osamas Psychotic Proctologist at October 15, 2003 at 05:30 PM

"Al Gore: God, Michael you are such a fat slob"

That would be amusing to see, considering the significant poundage the Goremeister put on right after he lost the election. I can also see:

Susan Sarandon: So Al, was that cover of Rolling Stone airbrushed or were you thinking of me?

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 16, 2003 at 12:37 AM

I'm sure any network launched by Al Gore at a young audience will be "hep." The kids will think it's a "gas" as they "get down" and "shake their booties."

Posted by: Dave S. at October 16, 2003 at 03:45 AM

Hey Vicarious,

There was a mildly amusing bit on SNL after the 1996 election in the US about Bob Dole joining the Real World. He was abrasive, telling people to "get out of Bob Dole's chair," and shivering in fright in a bunk bed as he listened to his bisexual roommate discuss his sexual history with a friend. Very stereotypic, but again, mildly amusing.

Posted by: Jerry at October 16, 2003 at 07:10 AM

a TV network for the yoof!!!??? Brought to you by the same obsessives who've spent gazillions stopping yoof smoking. Ya wanna butt? See the kid, he's always got a packet.

Posted by: slatts at October 16, 2003 at 11:44 AM

A tv network for the youth. As opposed to all those other networks, with shows like "Survivor -- the Rest Home" and "MTV -- Merv Takes his Vioxx" -- which are totally aimed at the over-seventy crowd.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 16, 2003 at 01:14 PM