Tim Blair

This has made my day :)

In the words of Motorhead:

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades!!!

Yahoo!!!!

Tim thinks death is funny. But not questions about his accuracy as a journalist, or how much the Bulletin pay him.

It's nice in Tim's world.

Someone who choked to death on his own vomit doesn't think death is funny?

No more of my favourite show, "Today with Uday"

Thank you Bon Scott for reminding us of the universal humanity we all share, and the ugliness of the gloating over the deaths of two sons, whatever their father was.

"Any man's death diminishes me." --John Donne

"Last October another bride, 18, was dragged, resisting, into a guardhouse on one of Uday's properties, according to a maid who worked there. The maid says she saw a guard rip off the woman's white wedding dress and lock her, crying, in a bathroom. After Uday arrived, the maid heard screaming. Later she was called to clean up. The body of the woman was carried out in a military blanket, she said. There were acid burns on her left shoulder and the left side of her face. The maid found bloodstains on Uday's mattress and clumps of black hair and peeled flesh in the bedroom. A guard told her, "Don't say anything about what you see, or you and your family will be finished." --Time (quoted today in The Corner)

"Okay, never mind, the fucking psycho can roast for all I care." --John Donne

Well said Mike

Why should I tell Bon -- an anonymous wimp -- how much I get paid?

Maybe Bon could begin the process of disclosure by telling us his name.

RICHARD: "Now my Tirrel, how are the Brats dispos'd? Say; am I happy? Hast thou dealt upon 'em?"

TIRREL: "If to have done the thing you gave in charge/ Beget your happiness, then, Sir, be happy; For it is done."

RICHARD: "But didst thou see 'em dead?"

TIRREL: "I did, my Lord."

-- W. Shakespeare, "Tragical History of King Richard III", Act IV.

I heard a guy on a call-in program tonight say, "What a great day: Uday and Qusay dead, Jessica Lynch home, and the Eiffel Tower on fire!"

Scotty, have you ever told a joke or laughed at a joke? Please, if you have, run one by us here. I've read your posts and can only conclude that the concept of humor is completely alien to you. It appears that you have never once laughed nor even cracked a smile. Not even a little teenie tiny grimmace face.

That's pretty bad. Never to laugh... Too cheap to pitch into the beer fund... You are definitely one of those Stern type Zionists if I ever saw one.

No, most deaths aren't funny at all, but the Fabulous Ba'athist Boys richly deserved to be topped if anyone ever did.

My one and only regret at their demise is that they didn't die "necklaced" with burning, petrol-soaked tyres using the technique so beloved by the ANC. (The symbolism; "it's all about oil", you see.)

On the bright side, the fact that Saddam's shagadelic babes-lairs are now under American military control (furry-booted Vallejo paintings and all) means that the old fella won't be propagating any new heirlings to replace them.

Respectfully suggested that Kim "Ace of Clubs" Jong-Il, Robert "Ace of Diamonds" Mugabe, and Fidel "Queen of Hearts" Castro all take note and start replenishing their own gene pools before the US military begins gearing up for its next scheduled 2004, 2005 and 2006 world tours.

Does "ennui" fit the bill?

Okay, I'm sorry I had a go at Tim. I'm just so upset because I valued the lives of two psychopaths like the Hussein boys over the many hundreds of thousands who lost their lives thanks to them and their father.

I promise I'll think more in the future before venting my lefty self-righteousness. I realise I may feel better for it, but it doesn't do anything for anyone else.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject of apologies, I'll also throw in an apology to Charles, too. You're right. I've never laughed at a joke, Charles. In fact, I hardly know what humour is. But that's because my manhood shrunk overnight when I was 21, and things just didn't really seem very funny after that.

I promise I'll think more in the future before venting my lefty self-righteousness (I know, it's a tautology, but I hope you'll understand all the same). Please forgive me. I'm dead, after all.

Hey, stop fucking with this dead rock star's identity!

Stop it yourself.

Hey, I mean it. Stop fucking with me, man.

Actually, Habib, the official finding was that he choked on vomit.

We don't know who's vomit he actually choked on.

You can't dust for vomit.

Both of you stop it!! Now I've got two fake dead rock stars making me sound like a fuckwit.

Yawn. The real Bon Scott wouldn't admit to fuckwittyness. No way, man. I'd rather drink my vomit.

Posting under someone else's handle is lame.

Nah, I just changed my mind - it's fun!

I guess I asked for that . . .

No, I did.

Whilst this is all very fascinating and truly earth-shattering in its entertainment value, it really doesn't add anything to the discussion.

Yes, ok, Bon and Mork are petulant annoying little shits, at the best of times, but we all have to admit that they do make life more interesting by having them around.

Its like when you were back at school and there was always the one kid who couldn't make the rugby team because they were Oh so sensitive and cared Oh So much more about the environment and stuff. Yes they were screaming wankers and you ran over the top of them on the way to practice, but they did make life interesting. Especially when they started sprouting on about crap they had absolutely no understanding of.

So what is my point? Lets not drive them away by peurile identity theft. Please now, we are conservative, which makes us both infinitely superior to screaming lefty wankers, and gifted with a sense of humour. Its a matching set.

. . . and gifted with a sense of humour

That's irony, right?

QED

Or we could just feed them into an industrial shredder for laughs. Oops, sorry- I'm dead.

I want to know why it took the US's finest six hours to dig these fetid ticks out of their Baghdad mudhouse? Surely, high explosives would have delivered the same result as the six hour shoot out in about six seconds.

Anyway, rejoice that these fuckers are dead. I just hope they were truly terrified before they died. These men were pure evil. A quick death was too good for them.

I think I know what it is. Scotty needs to get laid. I remember I used to get that way too after not getting any for a while. So I propose that Tim start a Hookers for Bon Scott Fund in the spirit of the Jake Ryan Beer Fund. Seriously, this is an opportunity for all of us to help out a fellow human being in need. Come on folks, put in some cash for the kitty.

Bang, there you go Tim, I just put in $20 American. That's more than I did for young Jake. Come on fellas, hit that PayPal button and in the comment section write in "Hookers for Bon Scott". It only takes just a second, but could benefit someone for a lifetime. Don't worry, he is a leftist, so there aren't any morals there for us to corrupt. Open up your wallets and help a guy. A thousand points of light!

I'm holding that $20 in a special Bon Scott Skank Account. We need at least three more dollars before we can afford the woman of Bon's dreams.

Like I care if Bon ever gets laid: the novelty of a naked female within touching distance would probably kill him. Give him the twenty bucks: he can buy a gerbil, or maybe a rabbit, and a jar of Vaseline.

"I want to know why it took the US's finest six hours to dig these fetid ticks out of their Baghdad mudhouse? Surely, high explosives would have delivered the same result as the six hour shoot out in about six seconds."

Um... because they wanted them alive? Because they're the US military and they have a policy of trying not to kill several hundred civilians in the nearby vicinity when they can avoid it?

The Daily Tos had the same question, which just proves that the supposed humane left doesn't really think along those lines at all, but would cheerfully drop a nuke on a city to kill a puppy to achieve its ends. Only the US Army is sensitive and caring enough to want to keep casualties down.

By the way, from Today's Papers in Slate, here's a more precise account of why it took 6 hours:

"According to the LAT, American troops stormed the abandoned first floor of the house but were initially unable to penetrate the "hardened" second floor, where the suspects had barricaded themselves behind bulletproof windows and other materials. Ultimately, the NYT notes, it took missiles from Kiowa helicopters to blast the second floor open and a subsequent fire eviscerated much of the structure. (Other structures in the neighborhood were unscathed, a military official proudly tells the LAT.)"

I want to know why it took the US's finest six hours to dig these fetid ticks out of their Baghdad mudhouse? Surely, high explosives would have delivered the same result as the six hour shoot out in about six seconds.

As anyone familiar with Dungeons and Dragons will tell you, these Boss Monsters are usually pretty high level, and you have to wail on them for a good long time before they go down.

I'm guessing that Uday and Qsay were at least, like, Level 23 Chaotic Evil Dictators. So there's no surprise in that it took multiple TOW missiles to knock them out.

I bet the troops were cursing the fact these two were constantly making their saving throws. :)

-Vic

(ps. Victor Davis Hanson, watch out! You think *you're* the only guy who can post insightful commentary on today's War on Terror? :)

Vic, it's a shame that the Saddams were built using D&D -- in most other systems, you don't get many hit points as you gain experience.

Did it not look like one of those boys had been to Jackos' doctors?

John Donne never met Uday.