July 23, 2003


A bus. Several ducklings. And a fateful decision:

A Brisbane bus driver has been sacked for running over four ducklings.

Tony Campbell said he made a decision to run over the ducklings rather than brake hard and risk the safety of his passengers.

Mr Campbell was a part-time driver with Brisbane Bus Lines for 15 months until July 10 when he was sacked.

A Brisbane Bus Lines director said there had been other issues with the driver before the duckling incident.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 23, 2003 12:56 PM

The item failed to mention the driver's links with a major Peking Duck supplier.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at July 23, 2003 at 01:00 PM

Isn't it a crime to leave the scene of an accident without giving assistance to the injured?

He could at least have stopped to give mouth-to-beak resuscitation.

Posted by: Rob at July 23, 2003 at 01:51 PM

How long before Margo Kingston starts muttering dark accusations about John Howard's pivotal role in The Duckling Incident?

Posted by: Indole Ring at July 23, 2003 at 02:03 PM

I thought you only had to swerve for people not animals.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at July 23, 2003 at 02:33 PM

Well, that's one way to press a duck...

Posted by: mojo at July 23, 2003 at 02:35 PM

How typical that Tim Blair finds death of fluffy ducks funny but questions about how much The Bulletin pays him yadda yadda yadda...
Bon Twat

Posted by: Fidens at July 23, 2003 at 03:07 PM

Yawn. I'm bored.

No, no ... I mean it. There's all these little borers in my coffin. I think they're White-Spotted Sawyers (or Monochamus scutellatus for you undereducated right-wingers). See what reading did for me, Timbo?

And yes, Fidens, twat would probably be a more accurate description of my genitalia, but what concern it is of yours is beyond me. It's just like all you right-wingers to make fun of men with small ... you know ...

God, what I wouldn't give for a drink of good vomit.

Posted by: Bon Scott at July 23, 2003 at 03:35 PM

"The Duckling Incident". Sounds like a band name. Or a bad Ludlum novel.

Posted by: scott h. at July 23, 2003 at 03:41 PM

Bad Ludlum novel? Is there some other kind?

Posted by: Jerry at July 23, 2003 at 03:44 PM

"They were all against me, every one of them. . .and then there was THE DUCKLING INCIDENT."

--Capt. Queeg

Posted by: Irene A. at July 23, 2003 at 03:47 PM

Ludlum and the duckling incident? I don't think so.

The Duckling Compact
The Duckling Deception
The Duckling Factor
The Duckling Countdown
The Duckling Watch
The Duckling Ultimatum
The Duckling Agenda
The Duckling Supremacy
The Duckling Progression
The Duckling Mosaic
The Duckling Identity
The Duckling Circle
The Duckling Contenders
The Duckling Covenant
The Duckling Manuscript
The Duckling Exchange
The Duckling Paper
The Duckling Weekend
The Duckling Inheritance
The Duckling Protocol

Posted by: Preston Whip at July 23, 2003 at 04:04 PM

What were the other issues that led to his dismissal?

Posted by: Rob at July 23, 2003 at 04:42 PM

The other issues included a Gosling Controversy and a Hatchling Episode.

Posted by: tim at July 23, 2003 at 04:48 PM

And not to forget the chicken chapter and the fledgling fiasco.

Posted by: Uday Hussein at July 23, 2003 at 05:16 PM

Don't forget the Chicken Lover.

Posted by: Dean Esmay at July 23, 2003 at 05:18 PM

Wasn't he also involved in the Great Chicken Revenge Massacre of '68? You remember, those chickens with stazis. I am chicken hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore....

Posted by: Fred at July 23, 2003 at 05:36 PM

There was also a rumoured incubator incident; this bloke was the Freddy Kruger of immature waterfowl.

Posted by: Habib Bickford at July 23, 2003 at 05:41 PM

So, the Guy's goose was cooked before the ducks crossed the road. Fuck-a-duck!!

And why did the ducks decide to cross the road?

To find the WMD perchance?

(Preston Whip you have far too much spare time!)

Posted by: Razor at July 23, 2003 at 07:15 PM

What a fowl-up.

Posted by: Yobbo at July 23, 2003 at 07:57 PM

Just to quack a serious note: so the safety of his passengers is less important than a few ducks? He should get a good lawyer, this is worth plenty.

Posted by: Dave F at July 23, 2003 at 08:45 PM

J.L.Austin gives just that as an example of something done deliberately or purposely but not intentionally:

``I am summoned to quell a riot in India. Speed is imperative. My mind runs on the action to be taken five miles down the road at the Residency. As I set off down the drive, my cookboy's child's new gocart, the apple of her eye, is right across the road. I realize I could stop, get out, and move it, but to hell with that: I must push on. It's too bad, that's all: I drive right over it and am on my way. In this case, a snap decision is taken on what is essentially an incidental matter. I did drive over the gocart deliberately, but not intentionally - nor, of course, unintentionally either. It was never part of my intention to drive over the gocart. At no time did I intend to drive over it. It was incidental to anything I intended to do, which was simply to get to the scene of the riot in order to quell it. However odd it may sound, I feel little doubt that we should say here that we did run over the gocart deliberately and that we should not care to say we ran over it intentionally. We never intended to run over it.''

``Three Ways of Spilling Ink'' _Philosophical Papers_

Posted by: Ron Hardin at July 23, 2003 at 08:55 PM

Don't forget the chickenhawks either.

Posted by: Andjam at July 23, 2003 at 10:47 PM

"Do you like duckling?"

"I don't know, I've never duckled before"

Posted by: Andjam at July 23, 2003 at 10:48 PM

Lest I get dragged away to a plagarism torture cell, the "duckled" thing wasn't original to me. It was from a caption competition.

Posted by: Andjam at July 23, 2003 at 10:49 PM

Where's Marc Herold when you need him?

Posted by: Andjam at July 23, 2003 at 10:50 PM

First, Robert McCloskey, author of "Make Way for Ducklings" dies. Now, his memory is so cruelly mocked.

Tony Campbell should be ashamed of himself.

Posted by: Eric Jablow at July 24, 2003 at 01:23 AM

I've already got Fisk's first sentence written:

"So the ducklings are dead. Or are they? Brisbane exploded in anger at the news, with deafening automatic rifle fire piercing the night."

Posted by: Dave Kuner at July 24, 2003 at 01:42 PM

Enough about the Ugly Duckling Incident.

Posted by: Greg at July 24, 2003 at 03:11 PM

Who's calling who ugly? Greg

Orange sauce anyone?

Posted by: Razor at July 24, 2003 at 04:10 PM