July 09, 2003

BESTOW A TITLE UPON THE GANGLING FREAKBEAST

The Daily Telegraph wants some help:

What do you think the giraffe born at Western Plains Zoo should be called? Click here to send us your feedback.

Iíve gone for "Stilty, the leaf-suckin' sky horse". It was either that or "Ann Coulter".

Posted by Tim Blair at July 9, 2003 02:04 PM
Comments

Actually, I quite like Ann Coulter. The legs are faintly giraffoid, however.

Posted by: tim at July 9, 2003 at 02:08 PM

How about calling him "Corky"? Huh, what, you're talking about a giraffe. Sorry, I thought you were talking about Sammy Sosa.

Posted by: David Crawford at July 9, 2003 at 02:20 PM

Where do you come up with these titles Tim? "Gangling Freakbeast", my screen nearly caught my coffee.

Posted by: Glenn at July 9, 2003 at 02:20 PM

What about "Mongo, the Acacia Munching Mutant"?
Or for something cute, how about "Hyena Bait"?

Posted by: paul bickford at July 9, 2003 at 02:43 PM

David Williamson

Posted by: Tony.T at July 9, 2003 at 02:47 PM

How 'bout "Pilger of the Highest Moral Ground"?

Posted by: Fidens at July 9, 2003 at 02:50 PM

"What about "Mongo, the Acacia Munching Mutant"?"

Heh paul, I first read that as "Margot"

It still fit, funnily enough.

Posted by: Tex at July 9, 2003 at 03:09 PM

I've posted "NAMBLA"....Let's see whos paying attention at the DT....

Posted by: Jake D at July 9, 2003 at 03:30 PM

Cheryl the oelaceous wombat.

Posted by: d at July 9, 2003 at 03:39 PM

NeckBird the Horned Geek

Posted by: Ken Layne at July 9, 2003 at 04:19 PM

Thanks for adding an extra dimension to my Ann Coulter fantasies.

Posted by: ZsaZsa at July 9, 2003 at 04:20 PM

Surely...

Deep Throat!

Posted by: Lawrie at July 9, 2003 at 04:37 PM

How about the "Savannah Swizzle-Stick"

Posted by: paul bickford at July 9, 2003 at 04:46 PM

Tampa,
To keep the focus on the great Satan, He who hath denigrated our one once proud nation, the arch fiend Howard.....

OR

Kofi G Rarf

a) Its from Africa
b) Like the UN, is slow, ungainly and was designed by a committee
c) Again, like the UN its dominant functioning part is its tongue.

Posted by: nic at July 9, 2003 at 05:30 PM

How can someone object to Michael Moore, but like Ann Coulter?

They're as alike as two peas in a pod (at least, when one of the peas is grossly obese and the other is a dessicated anorexic tart).

Posted by: Mork at July 9, 2003 at 08:15 PM

Giraffe named Ann Coulter + ladder = stairway to heaven.

Posted by: ZsaZsa at July 9, 2003 at 08:20 PM

Don't you mean "stairway to harridan"?

Posted by: Mork at July 9, 2003 at 08:24 PM

Mork,

Coulter over Moore? Easy. Two reasons. First, Coulter isn't afraid to mix it up with the ''enemy''. The live interview by Katie Couric, the ''affable Eva Braun'' of US television was as funny as anything I've ever watched on TV. She kept her cool and Katie was fuming. Moore pretty much only hangs with the lefty sycophants in the media, and when he is on TV he looks disgusting and sounds worse. Second, I can work up a good sex dream about Coulter. It's a bony, uncomfortable one, but it works. Michael Moore and sex makes me think of sea lions and that peculiar smell they emit. Not a pleasant thought, and it has the added smellavision component.

Now I am disgusted to admit that I've always had the hots for Katrina vanden Heuvel of the US lefty rag ''The Nation''. Attractive, filthy rich, and I find the permanent lefty sneer somehow appealing. The way she answers a simple how are you question with a 2 minute diatribe on how she's fine considering that Bush is destroying the world shows great breath control. I always wanted to find a rich stupid woman. My wife is waaayy to intelligent, right when I think I've gotten away with something, she just laughs at me.

Look what John Kerry has done with a rich stupid wife?

Sorry about the length Tim

Posted by: Jim Harris at July 9, 2003 at 09:57 PM

Jim, you had me at "attractive, filthy rich" . . .

Posted by: Mork at July 9, 2003 at 11:43 PM

Enough with the politics already- what's wrong with "Knob-Head"?
Or maybe "Phlegmy, the Catarrh Creature".

Posted by: paul bickford at July 9, 2003 at 11:50 PM

One more for good measure- how about-
"The High Altitude Hirsute Hatrack"?

Posted by: paul bickford at July 9, 2003 at 11:58 PM

Xtndednek
Tally
Alf

Posted by: Brian Perry at July 10, 2003 at 12:13 AM

I posted "Spork"

Posted by: albo at July 10, 2003 at 12:31 AM

Sticksy the Stretch Leopard

Posted by: Tony.T at July 10, 2003 at 01:13 AM

Aaron Sandy Lands

Posted by: Yobbo at July 10, 2003 at 02:05 AM

Spotty the childrens vertical playpal

Posted by: d at July 10, 2003 at 05:15 PM

How about "Beerbottle."

Hey, it's got a longneck!!!

Posted by: Wonderduck (formerly just Eric) at July 11, 2003 at 02:02 AM

Sorry about the length Tim

Jim Harris,

Why the apology? You just keep on writing as l-o-n-g as you want. Your style is lip smacking good.

I'm looking forward to more.

Posted by: Shewolf at July 11, 2003 at 04:39 AM

`Flecky, the Rubber Neck Garden Hose '- Steve Bracks.

In case the giraffe is a schizophrenic:


`Blinky,the Four Legged Anaconda' - Whitlam and Fazer.

This one, however, is a terrifying freak :

`Slinky, the Mutant Moose' - Beazely-Crean-Latham-Rudd-Lawrence.

Posted by: d at July 11, 2003 at 10:57 AM