November 09, 2004

ACCURACY, TEETH MISSING

Youngster Jessica Wiseman describes her attempt to get out the vote among registered Democrats in Las Vegas:

The first door that opened belonged to a shirtless man with a pigeon on his shoulder, tattoos covering both his arms, teeth missing. Shaelyn and I looked at our script and then back at this man. Whoa. But he was already registered, voting for Kerry. Good.

Second door and third door belonged to empty houses with broken windows and doors boarded up. Throughout the day we would be confronted with these unkempt homes, weeds shooting up towards the sky, broken toys lying like defeated bodies on the ground, abandoned ...

One man, a self-confessed four time felon, offering us some beef jerky from a bag as he opened the door, said that if he could he would vote for Bush because "The only person who doesnít like George Dubya is Osama Bin Laden."

BZZZZT! Wrong answer! What he should have said, in the manner of a Rove-controlled automaton, is: "Must. Vote. Republican. For. Jesus." Because, as everyone knows, and Phillip Adams reminds us, this election was all about Christ:

These intellectually challenged characters have been given four more years to run the world -- thanks to a rush to the ballot box by millions of Christian fundamentalists convinced that the earth and all its creatures were created in a process of divine mechanics that began at 9am on Monday, October 23, 4004BC -- and who support Israel because of evangelical prophecies involving a rapidly approaching apocalypse.

Phillip is just angry that his own prophecies havenít worked out. Neither have those of Margo Kingston and John Pilger. Hey, guys; who's in the White House?

(Via Adrian the Cabbie)

Posted by Tim Blair at November 9, 2004 12:43 PM
Comments

How can we forget the "President Clark meets Prime Minister Crean" prophecy. Didn't that one work out brilliantly........

Posted by: FusterCluck at November 9, 2004 at 12:52 PM

Tim,
None of these people, even Margo, sounds any more unhinged than your buddy Ken Layne. What the heck happened to that poor guy?

Posted by: Pat H at November 9, 2004 at 12:55 PM

"These intellectually challenged characters have been given four more years to run the world"

Do you think someone should show the Phat phucker phil that Bush probably ahs a slightly higher iq than Kerry- http://ads.indiatimes.com/ads.dll/popserv?slotid=122&msid=853885&cid=217&mstype=2

Based on their military test scores, Bush's estimated iq is around 125 wheras Kerry's is around 120, equivalent to 120 Phillip Adamses.

Posted by: Ross at November 9, 2004 at 12:58 PM

You know, I think the funny thing is how the left has so disillusioned themselves into thinking that only the bible-thumping, ultra right-wing of America (and there are sooooo many of them) could have elected Bush. What about us agnostic, between moderate and conservative, professionals who have to see how all our beautiful tax monies go to waste? I may not be well-versed in debate but I am by far not DUMB. The very people who have criticized those of us who chose to vote for Bush, have become intolerant, closed-minded, and lack common sense. In other words, they have become their own worst enemy. they need to come down off their utopian-related pedestal and visit some reality for a change. Maybe even long enough to visit the "red" states, which, this year, actually consisted of every state except for the left coast, the northeast, and a couple in the north-central. I'd say "middle-America" just became bigger! (It's even bigger if you look at the elections by county)

Now I have to see how we can work on Pennsylvania getting rid of our wonderfully special-interest governor and his left-wing cronies in 2006.

Posted by: Welsh Witch at November 9, 2004 at 01:15 PM

What must really hurt is that both Howard and GWB have been voted in with a clear majority yet European governments (eg Sweden Germany) are run by a grabbag of minority parties - deals with the Greens etc.

Its as if the public dont fully trust them on their own.

Posted by: rog at November 9, 2004 at 01:23 PM

It's obviously impossible to get through to the brains (should they have them, which I doubt) of people like this person. I say let them run amok for our amusement.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 9, 2004 at 01:36 PM

Phillip Adams is a real anti-semite. One of the first times I read an article he wrote in The Australian was before the US invasion of Iraq, and he warned how, while the whole world watched the war in Iraq, the evil Israelis would probably sneak out and do some major ethnic cleansing in the occupied territories. I was so sick I couldn't even finish reading the article. Where did he get these ideas?? The only countries that have ever bulldozed Palestinian villages were Arab countries: Jordan, Syria, Egypt.
Phillip Adams is such a dumbass.

Posted by: Naomi at November 9, 2004 at 02:06 PM

The very people who have criticized those of us who chose to vote for Bush, have become intolerant, closed-minded, and lack common sense. In other words, they have become their own worst enemy.

Only if you assume that they're really still interested in winning elections. Sometimes I think they're far more interested in cultivating their own victim complex, in which case alienating potential voters is just what the doctor ordered.

Posted by: PW at November 9, 2004 at 02:09 PM

They're doing that again, hunh? In the McGovern race, that would have been 1982 when I was 15, I worked for the McGovern cause. The crew dropped me, I don't remember a partner, in South Dallas, a poor black district.

On one porch I was asked if "I kept company".

Those were the good old days.

That, children, is not an indictment of African-Americans. It's lousy and dangerous tactics.

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 9, 2004 at 02:14 PM

Phillip Adams's column was just a joke: standard leftist lie after leftist lie. I felt compelled to fisk it at my blog, if anyone is interested.

Posted by: Leigh at November 9, 2004 at 02:18 PM

I think Leftist closed-minded dehumanizing bigotry is the best kind of closed-minded dehumanizing bigotry of them all!

Posted by: Steve in Houston at November 9, 2004 at 02:20 PM

rog--actually, it's because of things like proportional voting, but you probably knew that.

Posted by: Rick C at November 9, 2004 at 02:21 PM

Sorry. Too worn out to see satire.

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 9, 2004 at 02:36 PM

Reading Phatty's column, a thought occured to me - can we please add the "100,000 civilians killed" meme to the plastic turkey watch? The figure came from the highly publicised Lancet study, which was shown (on Slate of all places) to be so badly designed as to be useless. They had a 95% confidence level in the range of 8000 to 198,000 dead, so they picked 100,000 as a nice round middle. That figure has now been enshrined as Truth.

Posted by: attila the pun at November 9, 2004 at 02:44 PM

Phillip Adams is even past the "he's so bad he's funny" stage. Now he's just a sad flatulent old git, pissed off at his old irrelevancy. Even my parents, who read each and every bit of their weekend newspaper, admit they skip the inside cover of the magazine where Adams lurks.

Americans. Want to know what Michael Moore will be like in twenty years? Two words: Phillip Adams.

Posted by: Quentin George at November 9, 2004 at 03:45 PM

Good Lord. That was 1972. And it was a poor tactic then.

I missed my 30th high school reunion.

Posted by: Janis Gore at November 9, 2004 at 04:28 PM

Tim. Please, PLEASE keep that column archived (saved to your PC) so that you can shove it all in his face in four years time (when Bush leaves Office)!

Richard :-)

Posted by: Richard at November 9, 2004 at 04:31 PM

these unkempt homes, weeds shooting up towards the sky, broken toys lying like defeated bodies on the ground, abandoned ...

Methinks somebody's an "aspiring novelist."

As am I, to be fair, but this woman is obviously going alll the way. Iowa Writers' Workshop, arise, and claim this clone of Proto-Novelist.

Posted by: Sonetka at November 9, 2004 at 04:34 PM

From the article:

My mom was just following the instructions the ACT coordinator had given us back in the garage that morning. What to do if the person doesnít have an address? Just ask them for their street corner.

This was at a HOMELESS SHELTER.

Words fail me.

Posted by: ottar at November 9, 2004 at 05:00 PM

Phillip Adams in his apocalyptic revelation (Epistle to the Australian's ch9vs11) forgot to unveil George W Bush as the Anti-Christ. Never mind, Phil and the cloud dwellers are sure to reveal all in the next dark prophecy. In the meantime we mortals step back and wonder at the speed in which, Adams' cherished institution, the U.N. rushes to the defence of innocents in the Sudan.

Posted by: gubbaboy at November 9, 2004 at 07:38 PM

Along came a spider and bit Philip Adams according to radio national tonight.....

Posted by: crash at November 9, 2004 at 10:59 PM

Along came a spider and bit Philip Adams according to radio national tonight....

Posted by: crash at November 9, 2004 at 11:17 PM

Sonetka's right: we have a budding novelist on our hands. Unfortunately she neglected to proofread her opus before she hit ``send,'' because there's a major omission in the Great Climactic Crisis Scene...

That's the one where her mother is trying to register someone at a homeless shelter, and she says...something, which sends the woman ballistic, angers the shelter employees, and sends Jessica and mom scurrying for safety. But *we are never told what she said*. I read the thing twice, looking for the Fatal Words. No sign of 'em. Not even a hint. Farther down the page Jessica's mom apologizes for what she said - but still doesn't say what it was.

Maybe I'm missing something? Did anyone else read all the way to the end and find the key to the crisis? Or is there really a big hole in the middle of the narrative?

Posted by: Annalucia at November 9, 2004 at 11:49 PM

4004 B.C. eh? Anybody else find it amusing that this git can't properly subtract 6000 years from 2004?

Posted by: jju at November 9, 2004 at 11:55 PM

Annalucia,

"My mom was just following the instructions the ACT coordinator had given us back in the garage that morning. What to do if the person doesnít have an address? Just ask them for their street corner."

Ms. Wiseman's mom probably asked the woman what corner she lived at, impying she was a prostitute.

Posted by: SPY at November 10, 2004 at 01:03 AM

Ok, so somebody at the Protective Order of Witches, Warlocks and Sorcerers need to sue the living shit out of Babs Streisand. Defaming the true religion! Intolerant bitch!

Posted by: mojo at November 10, 2004 at 03:19 AM

I hope the spit flows of Herr Adams' mouth evenly on both sides as he yet again presents his well-balanced opinions

Posted by: grunt at November 10, 2004 at 12:46 PM