November 07, 2004


"Former President George W. Bush Dead at 72," exults Greil Marcus in a grotesque mock obituary:

Mr. Bush's life after his presidency was marked by misfortune. He soon lost interest in his status as the standard-bearer of his party and its chief fundraiser; many believed he had again begun drinking, and in any case he seemed to spend most of his time at private clubs in Houston, where he established residence in 2010 after selling his property in Crawford, Texas. ("At least I won't have to cut that f--- brush again," Mr. Bush was heard to say after his last election.) Then on May 1, 2011, Jenna and Barbara Bush were killed in a drunken driving accident in New York City, an incident that also took the lives of seven other people, four of them friends of the Bush daughters. Rumors that a Bush family friend attempted to bribe the police to report that a person other than Jenna or Barbara Bush was driving (the body of Barbara Bush was in the driver's seat) were never confirmed.

Ex-Rolling Stone editor Marcus should write an obit for his writing career, which has been dead since the late '80s.

Posted by Tim Blair at November 7, 2004 12:31 AM

I'm constantly amazed by Democrat's drive to accuse Republicans of that which their own "heroes" are guilty.

Killing someone in a drunk driving accident and covering it up? That's Teddy Kennedy's bag, Marcus.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at November 7, 2004 at 12:35 AM

I'm glad to see the left reaching out, helping to unite the country and heal the divide.

Posted by: Robin Goodfellow at November 7, 2004 at 12:40 AM

If America is to heal, people must want the wounds treated. Clearly, there are people out there who prefer bleeding sores.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 12:41 AM

This really bothers me. This is nothing but the authors fervent wish. Really sick.

Posted by: Eddie Graziano at November 7, 2004 at 12:58 AM

Marcus' regular gig is writing about people who choked on their own vomit. It's probably pretty tough for him to shift gears.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at November 7, 2004 at 01:10 AM

When you stop to think about it, it's truly amazing that human civilization managed to survive for 15,000 years before the discovery of our most precious global resource: Rock Music critics.

Don't be so glum, lefties. I've cataloged some

Reasons to be Cheerful



Posted by: iowahawk at November 7, 2004 at 01:33 AM

Dear Democrats — Don't ever change.


The 2006 Congressional elections are coming up and I'm taking notes...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 7, 2004 at 01:37 AM

not everyone worships your warmonger, kids. learn to live with it. (thanks for the link, timbo!)

Posted by: akman at November 7, 2004 at 01:40 AM

What a dumbass.

Posted by: Harry in Atlanta at November 7, 2004 at 01:43 AM

He can put Lipstick Traces on my ass.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 7, 2004 at 01:44 AM

There there, akman. I'm sure you'll be able to live an almost normal life with only minimal brain function. Sorry about your curtains and walls, though. But just think: now that your head exploded and you don't have all those brains taking up space in your skull -- or even much of a skull -- you won't have all those headaches as you contemplate the fact that a "warmonger" has so many admirers!

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 01:44 AM

That's right, akman. It's called dissent, and it's a sign of a healthy democratic government.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 01:47 AM

"griel marcus,"
king of moondopes...
king of bleeding sores...

king of gitmo???

Posted by: guinsPen at November 7, 2004 at 01:59 AM

andrea, he's hardly the first "'warmonger'" to have legions of callow cheerleaders. good job with the tortuous attempt at a slight, though.

Posted by: akman at November 7, 2004 at 02:10 AM

king of cabana-boys...

Posted by: guinsPen at November 7, 2004 at 02:19 AM

Poor akman. Reduced to "you're shallow! and stupid! and your president is a poopy head! So there! Nyah nyah nyah!" Sad.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 7, 2004 at 02:31 AM

I always figured the "warmonger" was the person who started the war, not the person who decided to end it by fighting back. For example, Hitler was the "warmonger", not Churchill. In modern terms, that would make Osama, Saddam, and Yasser the proper "warmongers".

Of course, I don't fetishize Third World tyrants and lunatic thugs like the left does.

Posted by: Robert Crawford at November 7, 2004 at 02:34 AM

"Greil Marcus, beloved geezer punk, author of the seminal 'Lipstick Traces' - which made heros out of the Sex Pistols - and all around master of punk rock semiotics, died today from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Friends say he was "extremely distraught" when Jeb Bush was declared winner of the 2012 election with 308 electoral votes, and had lately been complaining of the ineffectiveness of his prescription anti-depressants."

Posted by: Cro Mag at November 7, 2004 at 02:42 AM

Of course, akman, the problem with dissent is sorting the rational from the irrational.

But in your case, it's no problem at all; one can tell by the damage to your skull when your brain exploded on 3 November 2004.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 02:45 AM

I wonder if embryonic stem-cell research holds the keys to a treatment for exploded heads?

Posted by: PW at November 7, 2004 at 03:18 AM

I don't know, PW, but it would be a great research thesis for some doctoral candidate. God knows there are plenty of test subjects available. Ought to be able to assemble an unassailable control group.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 7, 2004 at 04:28 AM

Aw, guys. Leave akman alone. He is obviously suffering and his only coping mechanism is to leave anonymous comments. It's all part of the healing process after the devistation he suffered on 11/3, what with losing his head and all.

Posted by: Maureen at November 7, 2004 at 05:09 AM

Ugh. Glad I'm not privy to this guy's fantasy life. I mean, more so than now.

Posted by: Sonetka at November 7, 2004 at 06:59 AM

Uh...sorry to burst the bubble of this idiot, but the obituary makes no sense.

Why would Bush, after being re-elected to a second term, start drinking again?

What's more likely would be enraged Democrats and dickheads like akman slitting their wrists.

Posted by: Quentin George at November 7, 2004 at 07:13 AM

...oh, and why the gratitutious addition of Bush's daughters? What precisely have they done to earn death in this guy's eyes?

Underage drinking? Hey, we've all done that, most of us were much younger than they were, as well.

Posted by: Quentin George at November 7, 2004 at 07:14 AM

akman - posters here are not objecting to the fact that someone has written a critical article about Bush. Nor are most people who post here Bush's 'cheerleaders'.

My own objection (which I bet is shared by many here) is the sheer malice and spite of the article. I felt like taking a shower after I read it, to get rid of any slime that may have been inadvertently been tranferred.

A fake obituary? This is obviously something Marcus would like to be writing for real. Vitriol and hatred are oozing out of every word. Its a long time since I read anything so distasteful. The person who wrote it, and anyone who thinks it amusing, should crawl under a rock.

Posted by: dee at November 7, 2004 at 07:37 AM

What precisely have they done to earn death in this guy's eyes?

They're a spawn of evil, Evil Bushitler in this case. That's obviously enough for leftist idiots to vilify them and wish them dead. It's the proverbial liberal sense for compassion, or something.

Posted by: PW at November 7, 2004 at 09:42 AM

What a prick! May he get hemorrhoids the size of grapes!

Posted by: BarCodeKing at November 7, 2004 at 09:45 AM

Shows what happens to those who continued on 'coke'
and those who changed to 'cola'

Posted by: Rose at November 7, 2004 at 10:26 AM

...and not everyone has turned your warmonger into a Satan/Loki type figure to revile as you have, akman.

For someone who likes to accuse people of worshipping, you come off as a zealot railing against the demonic heretics in your midst.

Posted by: Patrick Chester at November 7, 2004 at 10:36 AM

Its easy to assume that most people, including Democrats, would look at Greil Marcus's "piece" and see signs of mental illness, a hatred so deeply felt that he can't see the repulsiveness of what he has just written, sort of like a pedophile writing about child sex being O.K because its teaching kids about "love", they simply don't see how revolting their words are to the rest of the community.
But while most lefties I know would in fact be disgusted by that piece, there is a whole block of Michael Moorish misfits like akman who clearly just don't get it, they just don't get that their weird rantings in part gave Bush his victory. They don't get that "values" for normal people include resisting the urge to fictitiously kill off nine people while subtly blaming it on the drinking of one of two daughters of the writer’s object of hatred.

The Dems can try and blame the whole election defeat on the gay marriage issue but the reality of the "values" vote can be perfectly framed just by pointing to Greil Marcus's piece and then showing akmans defense of it. Simple truth is that moonbats like Marcus, Moore and akman's personal "values" seem so alien to most people that they end up looking straight out creepy, and when the Dems appeared to embrace these sort of "values", thats when they lost the election.

Posted by: Michael at November 7, 2004 at 12:53 PM

I'd respond in the tone which seems appropriate, but we all know how important it is not to appear hateful less we live down to the expectations of those liberal fuckheads.

Posted by: Brian Jones at November 7, 2004 at 02:22 PM

dear smart commenters,

has my brain exploded? i am left wing, and need your guidance on this sensitive issue.


p.s.: your president is a poopy head! So there! Nyah nyah nyah!

Posted by: snuh at November 8, 2004 at 01:49 PM

It looks to me like the answer to your question would be "yes."

Posted by: Andrea Harris at November 8, 2004 at 01:59 PM