November 01, 2004


The Guardian reports:

'We don't believe anyone can argue about the newsworthiness of this latest Osama bin Laden recording. Any news organisation would have aired the tape if they had received it,' Jihad Ballout, an al-Jazeera spokesman, said.

Er ... Jihad Ballout?

Posted by Tim Blair at November 1, 2004 12:44 AM

You've heard of "rock out with your cock out"? Well, incur fallout with your ball out!

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 1, 2004 at 01:03 AM

Loosley translated: Holy war against non-undie wearing infidels.

Mark Latham's next press secretary.

Posted by: C.L. at November 1, 2004 at 01:29 AM

He's on a holy war for testicles 'cause he has none.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at November 1, 2004 at 01:34 AM

Well, I've seen pictures of Scotsmen with the wind blowing up their kilts. So, now, what do Arab men wear under those dishdashas?

Thanks for a new mystery to contemplate.

Posted by: Rebecca at November 1, 2004 at 02:02 AM

Starring in "The Orgy of Andalusia" with Abdul "The Tool" Muhammed.

Posted by: dorkafork at November 1, 2004 at 02:40 AM

Rebecca, scotsmen must wear a sporran, it serves as a weight to counter a pressure which may build up below it. Note that arabs have no such cover/suppressant, perhaps there is nothing there which would cause social embarrasment were it to stand out some more?

Posted by: Steve at the pub at November 1, 2004 at 03:06 AM

That reminds me of a joke:

There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner,
who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in here before."

The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on my way to find a job."

The owner asks, "What do you do?"

The guy says, "I write music and play the piano."

The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY! I have an ad in the paper looking for someone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for me if you're interested."

The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talent and musical abilities. The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifully
than anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?"

The guy says, "I wrote that song myself. I call it Two Lesbians Fucking Their Brains Out."

The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a terrible name for such a beautiful song. Do you know any others?"

The guy smiles and plays again. Once more the owner is astounded by this guy's talent and musical abilities. He's almost afraid to ask but he does ask what the name of the song he just played.

The guy answers, "I Fucked Her All Night Until She Couldn't Take Anymore."

The owner again was shocked. The owner says, "Ok, you play beautifully and the songs you have written are incrediable. I will hire you, but you have to promise not to tell the name of your songs to the patrons." The guy agrees.

That night the guy was playing the piano and the crowd was just as amazed as the owner was with this man's musical abilities. After playing two
songs the crowd stood up and applauded. The guy was really pleased and stood up to take a bow. When he stood up and faced the audience, it was
apparent that his zipper was open and his dick and balls were hanging out.

One of the patrons close to the piano says, "Sir, do you know your dick and balls are hanging out?"

The guy smiles and says, "KNOW IT? HELL, I WROTE IT!"

Posted by: Les Jones at November 1, 2004 at 03:59 AM

Les Jones, it is supposed to be, "do you know your balls are hanging down through the wicker chair?" "No, but if you hum a few bars I'm sure I will pick it up"

Posted by: Steve at the pub at November 1, 2004 at 05:00 AM

Jihad Ballout must be related to Cat Ballou.

There's a Hanoi Jane / Hanoi John thread in here somewhere.

Posted by: Stefan Sharkansky at November 1, 2004 at 05:43 AM

Steve at the pub: The sporran is worn in the front. The wind blows both front and back.

And the rest of you guys are just sick.


Posted by: Rebecca at November 1, 2004 at 07:39 AM

If I can get away from the potty humour for a moment, who else was astonished at the Bin Laden tape, and the relative coolness with which it was reported? Like lots of other smarter people (Mark Steyn, etc.), I had long believed that Osama was now merely ambient DNA in the Tora Bora region. But there he is. Didn't you love the bit where he holds up Sweden as an example of a state that is keeping out of his bad books by remaining 'neutral'? If I were a Swede, I would be starting to feel very nervous around about now.

Posted by: cuckoo at November 1, 2004 at 08:25 AM

Just so you know, Arab men wear boxer shorts under their dishdashas, of the Bombay bloomer type. Not very sexy.

Posted by: mr magoo at November 1, 2004 at 01:26 PM

I suppose Ballout is better than Ballin, or Noballatall. But Ballsout would be better still, confirming that he's got a pair.

Posted by: mr magoo at November 1, 2004 at 01:29 PM

Also known as Jihad Freeballin'

Posted by: Art Vandelay at November 1, 2004 at 01:37 PM