October 28, 2004

SCALES OF JUSTICE

Tim Colebatch reports:

The Coalition is poised to claim a historic Senate majority this morning by taking the final two seats in Queensland.

In a final twist to a drawn-out vote count, the preferences of 29,043 Fishing Party voters could clinch for the Coalition the most powerful parliamentary position of any federal government in more than two decades.

Here's to no Fraserite wasting of a Senate advantage. Hail the fish voters!

UPDATE:

Prime Minister John Howard will have control of the upper house after the National Party was declared the winner of Queensland's last Senate seat today.

Brisbane Nationals candidate Barnaby Joyce was declared the winner of the sixth Senate seat when the Australian Electoral Commission completed the final computer count on the complex Senate preference distribution.

Mr Joyce's victory hands the Coalition 39 of the Senate's 76 members, giving the Government a majority in the upper house for the first time in a quarter of a century.

UPDATE II. In other happy piscine news, the Arafish is said to be unwell.

Posted by Tim Blair at October 28, 2004 04:58 AM
Comments

Man, and I always laughed at those "I fish and I vote" bumper stickers.

Posted by: C.L. at October 28, 2004 at 05:11 AM

Hi Dont MISQUOTE me thats all

Posted by: kringle at October 28, 2004 at 05:22 AM

preview like the wind witchy woman

Posted by: KRINGLE at October 28, 2004 at 05:26 AM

Me fish sticker on the old HK v8 keeps me outta trouble

Posted by: baldrick at October 28, 2004 at 05:31 AM

The Fishing Party? And I thought the US has some odd fringe political parties...

Posted by: Spiny Norman at October 28, 2004 at 06:13 AM

You shoulda seen the Senator that got away!

Posted by: Mike at October 28, 2004 at 07:34 AM

Fishing Party? Now there's an invitation to punning.

I'll take the bait. What's their party platform? Or must I just lay here and Flounder?

Posted by: Joe Bagadonuts at October 28, 2004 at 07:35 AM

You don't have to Flounder, you can Perch there and watch the fun.

Posted by: Dr Alice at October 28, 2004 at 07:46 AM

Does every hobby in Australia have its own political party?

Posted by: David Crawford at October 28, 2004 at 07:51 AM

The fish! Don't you see? It's all as prophesied by Richard Neville, don't you get it?

THE FISH ARE GRINNING!

Posted by: Bruce Hill at October 28, 2004 at 09:40 AM

The four senate seats in Queensland mean that the coalition is likely to hold the majority after next election, as well. So even if the ALP did win in 2007, they would face a very hostile senate.

Posted by: 2dogs at October 28, 2004 at 09:43 AM

The scales of electoral justice ensure that a new school of Liberal Senators can enjoy themselves at the expense of Labor prawns and the other shrimps.

Posted by: Michael Gill at October 28, 2004 at 10:22 AM

Bet the bloody fish aren't smiling now...

Posted by: Tex at October 28, 2004 at 10:38 AM

Fish rule! And the ALP was once destroyed by the Bass by-election.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 28, 2004 at 11:37 AM

Right, ilibcc, and the Coalition got to pick up the pisces.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at October 28, 2004 at 11:45 AM

When do they Trout out their platform?

Posted by: YoJimbo at October 28, 2004 at 12:16 PM

Are they big spenders or Pikers?

Posted by: YoJimbo at October 28, 2004 at 12:17 PM

Breaking news according to the AAP:

"Howard gets Senate
October 28, 2004

PRIME Minister John Howard will have control of the upper house after the Nationals today were declared the winner of Queensland's last Senate seat."

Interesting times ahead.

Posted by: Raymond at October 28, 2004 at 12:21 PM

"Remember, fish are friends, not food."

Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 28, 2004 at 12:23 PM

David, not very Aussie hobby has its own political party. There's no Rooting Party, for example, although a bumper sticker reading "I root and I vote", would attract empathetic interest.

Posted by: mr magoo at October 28, 2004 at 12:39 PM

Thank Cod.

Posted by: BT at October 28, 2004 at 01:03 PM

You guys are too funny!

I need to know their policies....

...no Red Herrings please.

Are their policies Tailored to meet our needs?

Posted by: Fat_Pat at October 28, 2004 at 01:37 PM

FAVOURITE FISHY MOVIES

Marlin Rouge
Jurassic Carp
The Blair Fish Project
Pulp Fishin’
Silence of the Lemmings
The Codfather
Cast Away
O Batter, where art Thou?
Titanic
Home Abalone
Forrest Gubby
The Full Manta
Jaws
Pearl Harbour
Final Fintasy
Mullet
Waterworld
Happy Gilmore

Posted by: mojo at October 28, 2004 at 01:37 PM

"Fear the Mullet!"

Howard's new slogan:

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit


Posted by: Uncle Milk at October 28, 2004 at 01:38 PM

Mojo,
I think you've gone a bit flakey!

Posted by: Lofty at October 28, 2004 at 01:52 PM

Yea sure the Libs have a majority in the senate on a single bottom-line basis.

Posted by: Pig Head Sucker at October 28, 2004 at 02:01 PM

Not Happy, Prawn!!!

Posted by: Rob C. at October 28, 2004 at 02:16 PM

Flathead Revisied
On Golden Perch
Tea With Barramundi
Lord of the Breams
Trevally Never Dies
Silence of the Clams
Saratoga in Love
Erin Brokofish
The Otters
Gar Wars
The Codfather
The Deer Grunter
Shichinin no Salmon
Paths to Dory
Full Leather Jacket
The Sicklefish Redemption
Snapperblanca
Citizen Carp

...sorry everyone.

Posted by: Bad Templar at October 28, 2004 at 02:42 PM

On Arafat, check the hagiography at the Sydney Morning Herald. As well as subtly painting Israel as the bad guy, the sole mention of terror comes halfway through, almost as an afterthought: "Arafat renounced terrorism in December 1988 ..." . They just about lionise the bloke.

Posted by: Sweet sweet Bundy at October 28, 2004 at 03:03 PM

... it's at www.smh.com.au
sigh

Posted by: Sweet sweet Bundy at October 28, 2004 at 03:07 PM

But will the Arafish qualify for the 72 virgins and does he get a gender selection?

Posted by: Lew at October 28, 2004 at 03:16 PM

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming....all the way to a Senate Majority?
Man, I love Australian politics.

Posted by: Major John at October 28, 2004 at 03:18 PM

Jewish Indianapolis http://www.jewishindy.com/article.php?sid=3976

Eulogy for Abdul-Ra'ouf Qudwa Al-Husseini,
I hope he goes through the fires of hell 10 thousand times and the same again
in departing he will bring great joy

Posted by: Rose at October 28, 2004 at 04:10 PM

Quit your carping people!

Posted by: YoJimbo at October 28, 2004 at 04:30 PM

can't...breathe..to...much...shite...must..reach...backspace

Posted by: Flute at October 28, 2004 at 04:35 PM


Arafat's unwell? Glad to hear the turd is finally swirling around the drain.

Posted by: Andrew at October 28, 2004 at 04:38 PM

Speaking of the Arafish, here's a great Lileks quote:

All you need to know about Arafat was that he insisted on wearing a pistol when he addressed the UN General Assembly. And all you need to know about the UN, I suppose, is that they let him.

Posted by: Spiny Norman at October 28, 2004 at 04:41 PM

In the early 1980's an Italian female journalist interviewed President Yasser Arafat. She described
his blond and blue eyed boyfriend as quite stunning. Some years later he married ( a woman ) and had a child.

Mike Carlton ( after the article about his boyfriend )use to send him up on the radio calling him Yasser Crack-a-Fat.

Posted by: joanne at October 28, 2004 at 05:36 PM

can't...breathe..to...much...shite...must..reach...backspace

They've got colonics for that, Flute...

Posted by: Quentin George at October 28, 2004 at 06:23 PM

Is there anyway we can send Yasser a card? Then again, where can one find a "Hope you feel worse and die a long, slow lingering death" card...

Posted by: Mr. Blue at October 28, 2004 at 06:40 PM

kind of a pity an israeli missile didnt have anything to do with it

Posted by: Johnny Wishbone at October 28, 2004 at 08:42 PM

The Fishing Party?????????

Posted by: Louis Hissink at October 28, 2004 at 09:42 PM

Johhny Wishbone,

I'm sure religious people think he'll be facing down a different kind of hellfire...
I'm not religious, but it's still a nice thought.

Posted by: Rob Read at October 28, 2004 at 10:00 PM

Then again, where can one find a "Hope you feel worse and die a long, slow lingering death" card...

I don't have one of those, but here's a Get Dead Soon card.

Posted by: EvilPundit at October 28, 2004 at 10:38 PM

> The Fishing Party?????????

To American readers: In the States, the major parties try legal strategies to keep minor parties and independents off the ballot (eg, Democrats challenging Nader's nomination petition signatures) because every extra contender who's on your side of the ideological spectrum, can split your vote.

Here in Australia, it's the other way around. We have preferential voting. In NSW, Qld, Tasmania and the ACT, preferences are optional once you've numbered as many candidates as there are seats in your electoral district (1, 1, 5, and 5-7 seats respectively). For Federal elections and in Victoria, WA and SA, you have to number every candidate -- not a huge task when there are 5-10 candidates for one single-member electorate, but a bit of a drag for Senate elections, where there are 50-80 names for the six seats in each State. So for the Senate (and the four State upper houses also elected by proportional representation), you can "put a 1 in the box" "above the line" on the ballot-paper to vote a straight party ticket. Each party can pre-register one, two or three orders of preference among all the candidates (not just its own candidates).

Often someone who votes for, say, the Democrats doesn't realise that their vote will help elect a Family First candidate instead of a Green (once the last Democrat candidate is either elected or eliminated).

The upshot of all this is that it can actually benefit the major parties to have a lot of single-issue minor parties on the ballot (and to write the electoral laws accordingly). Even if, say, the Labor Party has pissed off voters by supporting a toll on the Westway Freeway, it can still get their votes back in the end, when it counts, if they put a 1 in the square for the "No Westway Freeway Party" and if the NWFP's pre-lodged preference order favours Labor ahead of the Liberals.

Posted by: Uncle Milk at October 28, 2004 at 11:19 PM

I'm sure this has been done somewhere, but has anyone ever actually tried standing as the None Of The Above party? Or perhaps stood as an independent candidate and changed their name to None Of The Above? It'd be a great way of redirecting preferences. Whatever the case -SIX MORE YEARS. By end of this time the ABC staff will be frothing at the mouth so much in front of the camera that I doubt too many will oppose their privatisation.

On a more important point, John Cleese said his three rules of comedy were:

1) No puns
2) No puns
3) NO puns

I think this thread has clearly demonstrated Cleese's wisdom in this regard.

Posted by: Clem Snide at October 29, 2004 at 12:31 AM

I can't believe Cleese said that.
If he did, he's a dickhead.
This is the funniest thread I've seen in yonks.

Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant at October 29, 2004 at 12:44 AM

"Cry Haddock, And let slip the Cods of War"

With apologies to W. Shakespere

Posted by: Gorton Fisherman at October 29, 2004 at 02:17 AM

What Uncle Milk said "...."

What we heard "Blah blah blah, Ginger, blah blah blah, Ginger, blah blah blah.

Captain Archer to Dr. Phlox: "It sounds very complicated"

Dr. Phlox to Captain Archer: "Of course, why else have plural marriage if it wasn't complicated"

Posted by: Trek Trout at October 29, 2004 at 02:34 AM