August 29, 2004

MAP OF THE GODS

The Kerry campaign has produced a wonderful map illustrating the links between the Swift Boat Dissenters and their Halliburton-financed neocon enablers within the Bush Reich House. Please post links in comments to your own Photoshopped versions of this map, possibly including the whereabouts of John Kerry's Magical Forbidden Mekong Super Hat of Thunder.

UPDATE. Mark Steyn:

My sense is that the Swiftvets have changed the dynamics of the race. With the candidate's retro braggadocio on ice for the foreseeable future, the Kerry campaign late on Friday revived that old favourite, the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, releasing a flow chart full of multi-coloured arrows showing that Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison is a "close friend" of Merrie Spaeth, a public relations consultant to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Yawn.

UPDATE II. Dorkafork and Evil Pundit get with the Photoshoppy action.

Posted by Tim Blair at August 29, 2004 10:45 AM
Comments

I note that the mythical beast "credibility" is nowhere to be found.

Posted by: Ryan W at August 29, 2004 at 11:03 AM

That didn't seem to last long. It doesn't seem to work anymore.

Posted by: aaron at August 29, 2004 at 11:04 AM

Extra points for including "VC" Kerry’s catapulting dog.

Posted by: perfectsense at August 29, 2004 at 11:15 AM

I am married to a woman who knows a guy who lives with a woman whose dad knows a man who is an ambassador to Lesotho where this ambassador employs an assistant whose dad works as an advisor to the Secretary of Defence of the USA.

Therefore: I am responsible for the Defence of the USA.

Posted by: LaVallette at August 29, 2004 at 11:56 AM

A-ha! LaVallette must be kind of spy since there's no way, even with all those connections, an American would spell it "defence". You've been made, LaVallette.

Posted by: Lydia at August 29, 2004 at 12:12 PM

Aaron: it works fine, but you have to have Adobe-Fucking-Acrobat-Reader installed to open it. Then again, .pdf files often hang my computer, which has loads-'o-ram and a decent processor, so who knows.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at August 29, 2004 at 12:32 PM

Ahh yeah, I was cleaning things up and unintalled some overlapping software.

Thanks Andrea

Posted by: aaron at August 29, 2004 at 01:15 PM

My God! Who knew so many politically active people knew eachother!

Posted by: aaron at August 29, 2004 at 01:19 PM

This is a sad end to the Kerry campaign.

Posted by: aaron at August 29, 2004 at 01:21 PM

Plesae oh Please, I just want to see Kerry on election day go out and tell people to vote for hum using this convaluted diagram to show how it is all a big conspiracy against him, please!

Posted by: JBB at August 29, 2004 at 01:24 PM

Did they honestly do this?

Good God.

Posted by: Rebecca at August 29, 2004 at 01:31 PM

You know they copied this off the Kerry-527 link map from blogsforbush.com?

Posted by: Quentin George at August 29, 2004 at 02:02 PM

Sheez!!!!!!!!!! Sprung again by Lydia..

Posted by: LaVallette at August 29, 2004 at 02:04 PM

JBB,

I want to see protesters carrying giant versions of this map at Sunday's NYC protest.

Posted by: tim at August 29, 2004 at 02:18 PM

And ask the question: is Kerry just a taller version of Ross Perot?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at August 29, 2004 at 02:21 PM

Ye gods! This is so......stupid. Why didn't they just post a picture of Algore screaming about digital brownshirts?

Like all these politically active people don't know each other already? Puh-lease!

Conspiracy my aching, dying ass! blogsforbush.com has a good write up about how the Kerry campaign looks with this very same problem. Can Kerry see that, I wonder?

Probably not.

Posted by: The Real JeffS at August 29, 2004 at 02:25 PM

What is it with American leftoids and their mania for drawing maps detailing the ominous links of some sinister cabal ? Does anyone remember the Leo Strauss/neo-con hoopla a couple of years ago ? I remember detailed maps in Newsweek, for example, connecting all the favored targets of the lefties.

This is obsessive behavior, folks.

Posted by: Carl in N.H. at August 29, 2004 at 02:43 PM

Is this the same Merrie Spaeth who was in the Peter Sellers movie, ``The World of Henry Orient'', as one of the infatuated schoolgirls? Can we work a Hollywood link into this somewhere? What are Paula Prentiss' politics? Does she have any?

Posted by: Annalucia at August 29, 2004 at 02:43 PM

I did a quick one that is simple but fairly comprehensive.

Posted by: dorkafork at August 29, 2004 at 03:08 PM

Is anyone else reminded of that old "National Lampoon" bit, "How Fluoridated Water Turns Kids Into Communists"?

Hint to Kerry campaign: if you want to be taken seriously, don't release flow-charts whose writing style and font are lifted directly from the pages of National Lampoon and Mad. Just saying, is all...

Posted by: Sonetka at August 29, 2004 at 03:18 PM

BTW, here's the link to that National Lampoon flowchart (taken from Robert Corr - hope you don't mind!)

http://www.robertcorr.net/blog/uploads/fluoridatedwaterbig.jpg

Posted by: Sonetka at August 29, 2004 at 03:30 PM

Is this the Democrats version of the ALP's Knowledge nation, it seems as relevant.

Has Barry Jones been seconded to the Kerry campaign?

Posted by: Nuffy at August 29, 2004 at 05:32 PM

I don't understand this whole swift boat thing. George Washington commanded a small boat and crossed the Delaware with his men but, nothing like the swift boat saga happened to him when he later ran for President.

Posted by: Fred Boness at August 29, 2004 at 07:25 PM

I want to see protesters carrying giant versions of this map at Sunday's NYC protest.

Your wish is my command.

OT: Check out the horrifying true story of the Giant Spiders of Fallujah!

Posted by: EvilPundit at August 29, 2004 at 08:50 PM

Who else knew of the role that Barry Jones has played in clearly explaining issues to the American people.

Using the "spaghetti-nation" formula he used so successfully to explain the Australian labor party's education policies, he has obviously been conscripted to help Kerry.

Poor old Kerry.

E

Posted by: the_GOP_Elephant at August 29, 2004 at 10:03 PM

Has anyone else noticed how everyone of any political stripe in the entire world (including Saddam Hussein) gets the standard assumption of innocence from "guilt by association", except Republicans?

Posted by: Robin Goodfellow at August 29, 2004 at 11:09 PM

Doesn't the Democratic "Web of Connections" remind you of Nash in "A Beautiful Mind", with his office papered with loose connections, formulae and delusional links that heralded his total psychotic break from reality and led to hospitalization? I see a close parallel here.

Posted by: Pat at August 30, 2004 at 01:19 AM

Here's another "chart" from Paul Krugman's website showing the nefarious connections between the Swiftboat Veterans and the Bush campaign. He guarantees that this will bring down the Bush junta.

Instructions:

Person "A" is Ginsberg. Person "B" is Barney Frank (ahem).

After that, you're on your own.

http://www.rube-goldberg.com/html/dodgingthebillcollector.htm

SMG

Posted by: SteveMG at August 30, 2004 at 01:57 AM

I actually find all this very encouraging. Who the hell is John Kerry talking to when he alludes to shadowy Republican conspirators? Hint: It's not the swing voters.

Posted by: Kerry Is Unelectable at August 30, 2004 at 02:02 AM

I'm still laughing, Dorkafork! Hilarious!

Posted by: Reese at August 30, 2004 at 02:28 AM

Didn't Kuchinich (sp) take a bunch of diagrams to a radio show when he was running?

What is it with these people?

Posted by: ushie at August 30, 2004 at 02:59 AM

Nay Reese! Dorkafork's sad diagram is an overlyconvoluted batch of lies! [takes a moment to wipe off the spittle]

I have the correct diagram to prove that Bushitler is a racist nazi [damn spittle! stop that!]

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 30, 2004 at 04:26 AM

Damn. The spittle keeps me from properly closing links.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 30, 2004 at 04:27 AM

"Is this the same Merrie Spaeth who was in the Peter Sellers movie, ``The World of Henry Orient'', as one of the infatuated schoolgirls?"

Yes. She runs a Public Relations Consulting firm in Dallas. Just Google her name to get the site link. Her site bio mentions that.

Posted by: CGeib at August 30, 2004 at 01:21 PM

So how many 527 members are working in the Kerry campaign? Three? I lost count.

Posted by: Alan K. Henderson at August 30, 2004 at 05:08 PM

Alan, it is right-wing lies to even ask the question.

Posted by: Ken Summers at August 31, 2004 at 12:32 AM

Where does Kevin Bacon fit into all of this?

Posted by: Peter Nolan at August 31, 2004 at 02:34 PM