July 14, 2004

BENNY HILL LIVES

Oh, ha ha ha, Mr Sydney Morning Herald headline writer.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 14, 2004 09:20 AM
Comments

Benny Hill lives?

Why?

Posted by: Ken Summers at July 14, 2004 at 09:55 AM

Someone should take that writer in a room and explain that it's best not to try to pun and alliterate and be cute when you are writing about a terrorist murder.

Posted by: goldsmith at July 14, 2004 at 10:35 AM

Ken, Benny hill lives in every pun involving boobs.

Too bad the paper has no evening television news program, they could play yakety-sax while they show the carnage.

/sarcasm

Posted by: SarahW at July 14, 2004 at 10:59 AM

It was worth a titter at least.

Posted by: nic at July 14, 2004 at 11:40 AM

Who knew Chug-A-Lug House was now an international terrorist organization? I never did trust that Nerdlinger!

Posted by: Sean M. at July 14, 2004 at 12:31 PM

Okay. Gallows humor aside. I speak as a breast-bearing human: that's just wrong.

Posted by: Rebecca at July 14, 2004 at 01:07 PM

As a breast-touching human, I agree with Rebecca.

Posted by: Ken Summers at July 14, 2004 at 01:28 PM

Dolly Parton could bring down the whole airport.

Better stop giving them ideas. Surgically implanted remote controlled tit bombs. It starts getting scarier and scarier.

Exactly how much platic explosive can Akhmar Hassan Hashish shove up his rectum before attending the festival?

Stop giving them ideas.

Posted by: IXLNXS at July 14, 2004 at 01:53 PM

"They killed titty! Those bastards..."

(rim shot)

Ok, I'll stop. Put down the knife.

Posted by: mojo at July 14, 2004 at 04:18 PM

This from the same journal of record that told us today the Captain Cook was killed fighting on beach in Hawaii. In other late-breaking news: First Fleet reaches Sydney Cove; Marie Antoinette advises masses to eat cake; King George named celebrity looney of 18th century.

Posted by: Paul Pottinger at July 14, 2004 at 04:43 PM

I see nothing wrong with the headline, and this is an interesting story.

The Viet Cong on at least one occasion cut open a dog, inserted explosives, then sewed it up and let the dog loose, so that sympathetic Americans drawn by the dog's distress would be blown up. (I can't find the story off hand, but as far as I remember, the trick worked and casualties were inflicted.)

The Tamil Tigers, great exponents of suicide bombing, now seem to have demonstrated the effectiveness of the bra bomb.

The IRA, great haters and terrorists with great staying power, have used all sorts of tricks. The bomb squad has of course been a target.

The Muslims, and particularly the Palestinians, have made great progress in terror, with a vaginal plug, use of simulated (and actual?) pregnancy (with play acting of the distressed mother-to-be to draw sympathetic victims near), use of children, including in at least one case a retarded boy, habitual use of ambulances at terror transport, use of an HIV-positive bomber (which didn't work: the heat of the explosion killed the killer virus, making the spray of killer blood and organs mingling with those of the wounded ineffective as a disease dispersant), baby prams, on at least one occasion heavy baby wrappings (a kidnapped Jewish baby of course taken to a maternity ward to maximise the horror and mass carnage), targeting of sympathetic bystanders and rescue workers with follow-up terror attacks, and (working the theme of using human sympathy, modesty and decency) "kidnapping" of the victim's corpses/body-parts for ransom. I think the hero award goes to the Palestinian who wooed and married an Irish girl, got her pregnant, waited till she was well advanced, then sent her on a Jewish plane to Israel, to meet his parents so he said, with a bomb he had put in her baggage. If there has been a more evil betrayal since the dawn of man, I do not know of it.

What remains to be done? Cutting open or using the body cavities of infants seems to be an obvious one, and they'll get to that, if they haven't done so already. (Presumably using kidnapped Jewish babies.) The elderly? But people arenít as distressed by the deaths of the old as by those who should have their whole lives before them. Wheelchairs and so on are obvious, but again, how can you top what has already been done?

We are fighting absolute evil in its foulest and most depraved form. But how many more variations on this theme are there to find?

Posted by: David Blue at July 14, 2004 at 04:45 PM

Was there a 90% fallout?

Posted by: Freddyboy at July 14, 2004 at 05:13 PM

Paul, what the article said about Cook was that a lost painting (presumably found in an old trunk in Australia, along with the Beatles'song), depicted Cook fighting back against the Hawaiians, because they stole some property from his ship, rather than nobly baring his chest to the fatal spear, as in previous works. The implication being that he deserved to die because he tried to chastise the natives. The SMH's attempt at PC historical revisionism!

Posted by: Freddyboy at July 14, 2004 at 05:23 PM

Stop giving them ideas.

This from the guy who posted stuff about how those terrorists need to aim better. Dumbfuckery, thy name is typed in all caps with not enough vowels.

Posted by: Sortelli at July 14, 2004 at 05:36 PM

And the cops didn't even get an anonymous tip off ...

Didn't Germans in WWII have a scare that the allies had stuck explosives in dead rats ( a possible scare rumour put out by the allies, but never acknowledged)?

Posted by: Egg at July 14, 2004 at 10:17 PM

Yo Freddyboy

You're right, which makes the SMH line doubly lame.

Anyone with half an education already knew that Cook's purpose was punitive and that he went down shooting and laying about him as a Royal Navy officer would. In fact, for those who paid no attention during history at school, the episode was memorably dramatised in a late 1980s BBC/ABC mini series starring Keith Michel as Cook - a performance raved about in the SMH at the time.

Serving this reheated stuff about Cook as though it were some kind of revelation demonstrates breathtaking ignorance on the paper's part.

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