Tim Blair

It publishes John Pilger.

Orcas, by the way, are bettrer known as killer whales. Not nice creatures. You know those cute, adorable little seal-pups, and whale calves? Well, Orcas EAT them. The Guardian evidently want the to eat more of them.

Okay I am now going out and buying some pissy bear, Bacardi, running shoes, reelect GWB products, Cocaine (I don't know why, Marxist guerellias use Cocaine to fund their wars, Guardian has lost its way boycott it all left wing people), Coca Cola, Ordering the Daily Mail and pay exorbitant fees to rent videos from Blockbuster Video

"The RCG's campaign, with its roots in Britain's student body, is called Rock Around the Blockade (RATB). It calls upon revellers not to drink the company's products and to mock its frontman, Vinnie Jones, whenever possible."

Can someone please find some videotape of a greasy-haired student whiner attempting to mock Vinnie Jones? I would like to see the headbutt and subsequent bloodloss.

"The White House says: "We'll get back to you." They didn't."

Ummmm.... this is probably a lie. I bet there was no answer.

The Guardian lied!!

Because Simon Baker is in it. Oh wait, you meant the newspaper.

egregious twerpitude.

So, it's not enough to boycott CocaCola for bizarro Columbian murder allegations, The Guardian would also have its readers boycott Columbian coke. Still,

Boycotting coke is not enough, they add; you should also buy fair-trade products where possible.

Perhaps opium from Taliban resistance fighters? No thanks, think I'll just guzzle Bacardi after reading this swill.

(How about Steve ding-a-ling Bell? Isn't he reason enough not to peep at the Guardian?)

i had a principal at my high school in the late 70s who banned us from wearing adidas t-shirts because he thought it stood for "All Day I Dream About Sex", which of course we did, but we didn't need no stinkin' t-shirt to remind to do that...the ban said a lot about what he was thinking, though.

They think Steve Bell is a wit and they're only half-right.

I can't buy the Guardian where I live, so I'm boycotting it by reason of geography anyway. But I thought egregious twerpitude was a good answer. ;)

Boycott the Guardian because of its inhuman and wasteful methods of slaughtering trees to make bird cage liners.

Good heavens. So you former colonial chaps and chappesses are the ones who keep reading that damm socialist rag and keep them in business! They've only got 12 readers apart from the staff and the unemployed fruitcakes looking for jobs as Parental Pelican Crossing Fruit Delivery Co-ordinators for Gypsy Communities at Large. Stop reading it and let it DIE! Read the British Sun. Pretty pictures...coo. Political stories? Only if she's got big boobs.

Who needs the press - we've got Timbo! (Even if he does live on the other (and more sane) side of the world)

Boycott The Guardian before even reading it because of its socialistic, paternalistic, condescending and creepy "Big Brother is Watching You" name.

At first I thought this was a spoof, but then I realized that this must be what Guardian Ombudsman Ian Mayes meant when he wrote, "there will be a close examination of the paper's journalism ... with the purpose of reinforcing and expressing more clearly and reliably the paper's established liberal values."

With all the ridiculous boycotts, the Guardian is simply providing a scorecard.

Bacardi is accused of "Counter-revolutionary activities"? Never have i seen a better reason to buy the stuff. Sorry dad, but you're getting a bottle for Christmas.

I would turn away from the Guardian but, a morbid fascination with the horror forces me to look.

Er, not to rain on your parade or anything, but that article wasn't urging its readers to boycott any of these things, it was reporting on the vast range of boycotts out there, being run by one group of nutters or another. I thought the piece was actually slanted to show off the silliness of the cited boycotts to maximum advantage, conveying the message that people who boycott things are all nutters, and should be ignored except to laugh at them.

Not that that makes a Grauniad boycott any less praiseworthy, of course!

"I hope you choke on your Bicardi and coke!"

Robbie Williams; 'Karma Killer.'

How can this not be a spoof? I hate to think of a newspaper that prints, in a serious article, "No representatives of the cocaine trade were available for comment."

Reasons to boycott it: Moonbat, Seumas Milne, Gary Younge etc. ad infinitum.

My reason: Alan Rusbridger went to the same school as me and by all accounts he was a dick.

I boycott the Guardian because it is not nearly as soft as its chief competitor, Andrex.

What the hell is this obsession with Burma? Don't these people know that the government of Burma is no more repressive than that of many of their favourite holiday destinations such as Vietnam, Laos and China?

Now, the Burmese government are a bunch of evil fucks. But the only reason we know they're a bunch of evil fucks is that there's an opposition leader who tells the world how damn evil they are.

In Laos, Cambodia or China, on the other hand, the very idea of an opposition leader who is actually _still alive_ to tell the world how evil the regime is, is laughable. The Burmese government thus gets minor points for being not quite so evil as the others.

Wow, just to spite the Guardian I now have to drink Budweiser? That is really going too far. They are beyond the pale this time.

And, BTW, Zev Sero - nice try! I believed you for a nanosecond! As if this rag wasn't encouraging us to stop drinking an anti-Castro product! Barkeep! Two cuba libres, por favor! To the death of Fidel!

And my take on Burma - having traveled there a couple of years ago I think my tourist dollar generally went into the pocket of some pretty good people. If Rough Guide can't put a guide out on the country then screw them - they must be more lefty than Lonely Planet (which is bad enough).

Five reasons to boycott the Guardian:
Kyoto, farm subsidies, Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo Bay (in reverse).

No more Julie Burchill

Boycott The Guardian because the UK supported Bush's wars. (Hey, guilt by trumped up and really remote association is a Guardian trademark tool.)

"You know those cute, adorable little seal-pups, and whale calves? Well, Orcas EAT them."

lol- best nature footage i've seen is of that huge blue(?) whale on the run from 5 or 6 shy little orcas that have surrounded it, massive dorsals carving up around the whale in a coordinated take-down.
they take it in turns shooting in taking chunk after chunk out of it.
imagine what they could do to a fiske.

Because it is The Guardian...

...is that not reason enough?

Boycott Bacardi -- because Myers, Lemon Hart, and Bundy all taste better.

Another reason the Guardian might like its readers to boycott Blockbuster:
http://guardian.movietrak.co.uk/default.asp

(note that sophisticated Guardian film buffs only manage to put one foreign effort in their top twenty, some way below Finding Nemo)

Those with regular exposure to the Guardian will be well aware of its continuing interest in the environment destroying airline industry:

http://travel.guardian.co.uk/booknow/
.

What the hell is this obsession with Burma?

"Why'd you say 'Burma'?"
"I panicked!"

The people who work there are bitter old skinny horse-faced clown-footed sneering lefty Brits with big ugly stained teeth. You know the type I'm taking about.

No representatives of the cocaine trade were available for comment.

Y'know, I don't think the Grauniad is taking this seriously enough. Boycott them!

I like this little gem: "Bacardi shares the responsibility for the suffering imposed on Cuba over the last 40 years by those who refuse to accept the socialist path chosen by the Cuban people," reads the RATB website.

Yes. By not succeeding in overthrowing Castro and putting his head on a pike, they have contributed to the suffering of the Cuban people.

To paraphrase Nelson Muntz, "Gotta boycott sumthin'."

Blockbuster is closing all its stores in Hong Kong because it can't compete.

A recent survey revealed that more and more of us are boycotting companies that trade unethically

This is the sort of precision we get all the time from the ABC.

How much is "more and more"? It has risen from 3 to 5? Or 3,000 to 3,000,000?

Quick, where can I get a ticket to Zanzibar?

Fair trade cocaine. I think I've found an untouched market.

For filing made-up news:
'But what a shame Sir Paul didn't throw in a rendition of Her Majesty at the jubilee bash - "I want to tell her that I love her a lot but I gotta get a bellyful of wine/ Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl / Some day I'm gonna make her mine".

Perhaps he didn't want to lose his knighthood.'
The Guardian (June 4, 2002)

Macca *did* perform that number, as the G lamely conceded later (if anyone got the sack over it, I didn't hear about it).

For plagiarising Helen Garner (now that really is
pathetic):
http://www.guardian.co.uk/obituaries/story/0,3604,881162,00.html

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/01/24/1042911554422.html

I'm going to boycott boycotts, especially this Boycott, who also appears in the Guardian; syncronicity or what?

footnote to the plagiarism urls above:
the smh article appeared a day *after* the guardian piece, but was syndicated from an
Age obituary which had appeared a week and a half earlier.

I'll have another go.

For filing made-up news:
'But what a shame Sir Paul didn't throw in a rendition of Her Majesty at the jubilee bash - "I want to tell her that I love her a lot but I gotta get a bellyful of wine/ Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl / Some day I'm gonna make her mine".

Perhaps he didn't want to lose his knighthood.'
The Guardian (June 4, 2002)

Macca *did* perform that number, as the G lamely conceded later (if anyone got the sack over it, I didn't hear about it).

For plagiarising an article by Helen Garner (now that really is pathetic).

nb: the smh link is to a syndicated version of an article that appeared in The Age ten days ealier (15/01/03)

I'm not a big Baccardi fan, but now I know what the cause of my next hangover's going to be.

For being terminally unfunny?

The only good thing about The Guardian was the daily crossword for which they started charging almost a year ago. Haven't been back since.

Misleadingly omits hammer and sickle from logo.

Not exercising sufficient (any) guardianship of the pillars of Western civilization, upon which its very foundation and existence are dependent.

Now, what does a Gaurdian reader like, so that I can boycott it?
Chardonnay, latte, tofu, Salon, Ben Elton, Sting, Belgian beer, Germaine Greer, bean shoots, Pilger, 90 per cent of Hollywood, Fisk, any of the Redgraves, Polly Toynbee, George Galloway, Michael Moore, Tracey Emin, warm salads, millionaire soccer tossers . . . shit, I already avoid all those.

They compulsively use the word 'really' with an grave intonation for extra impact as in 'really worried about where Tony Blair is taking us'; 'really good film'; 'we feel really, really sorry for the Iraqis suffering at the hands of the US invasion'; 'really great risotto'; 'really awful American companies'; 'really interesting art installation'.

Boycott cocaine? Do the numbskulls who write for the Guardian have any IDEA how many millions of people cocaine provides employment for?

"The Guardian urges its creepy readers to boycott..."

Excuse me? Where exactly in this article is the 'urging'? It seems to me that the author was discussing the issue of consumer boycotts and giving the targets of the boycott a chance to respond - in fact, giving them the last word in each case. If it's propaganda it's a pretty lousy attempt.

Moreover, the reference to the cocaine trade might have tipped off the more perceptive reader that the author had tongue firmly planted in cheek. I would have thought that Tim B, who seems to style himself as an acerbic quayside luminary - a poor man's P J O'Rourke - might have picked up on this. Possibly he thinks that genuine urine-extraction is the sole preserve of the right.

"Possibly he thinks that genuine urine-extraction is the sole preserve of the right."

Well, since you've provided a nice example of this, I guess he was wrong.

Yeah, but who could logically argue against boycotting Budweiser? As they in the classics, drinking Bud' is like making love in a canoe ...

I boycott Budweiser because I can get water out of my tap.

I smell the prescient hand of a PR dept afoot (ahand?) here. When attack is the best form of defense, a savvy operator turns a problem on itself, a blemish is made into a feature, etc.
As these things go, they become apparent in hindsight.
It sounds like a deflective blow against perhaps anticipated boycotting. The nearish future will tell.

Can the Grauniad advocate boycotting Stella, so I can drink even more vast quantities of the hangover inducing manna from heaven.

Yeast + Mankind = Civilisation!

P.S. Who else thinks the Grauniads blockade on checking their articles through google is backfiring?

If you want a laugh, do a Google with Bacardi and counter-revolutionary, and see who else is into that boycott effort...

If anything, I'd boycott Bacardi for being too pro-Castro. Don't they have tv ads that portray Cuba as a free and relaxed place to be?

But after taking a plane to Japan and drinking sake (saki?) with the mafia, you'd fly to Libya and drink what with Ghaddafia?

Bacardi counter-revolutionary activities? I'm buying a quart of the silver and gold tonight.

SUPPORT THE BACARDI FREEDOM FIGHTERS!

Boycott al-Guardian due to its pro Palestinian, pro terrorists biases. Julie Burchill left al Guardian due to its anti Israel/anti Semitic positions and went to work at The Times.

tim g. it wouldn't surprise me at all if the article was serious

I'm confused; boycott Lonely Planet because they aren't critical of a tyranical dictator AND boycott Bacardi because they are critical of a tyranical dictator...hmmmm

You guys need to back up off my budweiser. We're all drawn to what we were raised around. I was raised on Budweiser. Therefore, it tastes like a little slice of heaven. Besides, I would love to pick up a 12 of Guinness or Foster's on occasion, but I have to clean out my savings account to be able to afford one.

I like this little gem: "Bacardi shares the responsibility for the suffering imposed on Cuba over the last 40 years by those who refuse to accept the socialist path chosen by the Cuban people," reads the RATB website.

Yes. By not succeeding in overthrowing Castro and putting his head on a pike, they have contributed to the suffering of the Cuban people.

Flakbait,

You just put the little paper umbrella in the Bacardi and Coke. next round is on me.

Budweiser imprisons orcs?! Isn't that a good thing? Orcs are quite mean and nasty and eat little children; I should think that imprisoning orcs is just too good for them -- what? What's that? Ohhhh, orcas.

Well, never mind.

Enjoyed reading the reasons for many of the boycotts. Got a good chuckle over some.

Some posters mentioned the Guardian is not itself urging a boycott, merely reporting on existing boycotts. I think it's hard to tell if the intent is just to report, or to advocate for the boycotters. (I tend to think the latter because of how the intro. is worded & the paper's slant.)

Here's the intro:

"A recent survey revealed that more and more of us are boycotting companies that trade unethically. We all know about Nestle and Esso, but who are the other bad guys - and just how bad are they? Leo Benedictus offers a useful guide "

Is this advocating for the boycotters or not? I don't think it's that easy to detrmine.

Pissing off the Guardian is not enough reason to drink that bat-piss Budweiser.

Why?
Because it's NOT the Daily Telegraph.
*sniff*

I agree with boycotting the Guardian for the simple reason that those idiots are pretentious bores who believe themselves as the morally superior, hence the elite who will guide us poor down trodden workers of the world to victory over our opressors. In other words, the second group against the wall when the Revolution comes. Viva Revolucion

King of beers my ass! At any rate, I think the whole boycott thing was tongue-in-cheek.

Anyone seen this?

Pete Townshend vs. Michael Moore

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/story.jsp?story=540669

Tim, a poor man's P J O'Rourke? - you really know how to hurt, tim g.

You want to read a newspaper, read the Mitre! 'The Newspaper That Brings Anachronism To Life".

It's a spoof of course. I don't read the Guardian so I can't say what kind of paper it is but anybody should be able to see that this is all tongue in cheek.

Tim, come on. This is the kind of false outrage that drives me crazy about the left.