July 06, 2004

WHAT IS ON TV RIGHT NOW?

"Hey, my first blog entry!" writes a newcomer to the medium:

Welcome fellow bloggers and blog readers! Blog doggers and blog loggers. Blogging away for the common good or just to keep from watching whatever crap is on TV right now. What is on TV right now? No new 6 Feet Under tonight. The Practice has been bounced. Can't Jon Stewart do a Sunday show?

Letís hope Michael Moore improves as he continues. I prefer this new site, and this one, and especially this one:

When in the course of events it arises that hugs are needed, the H.U.G. S.Q.U.A.D. is an elite group of Master Huggers who will spring into action. For information on joining the H.U.G. S.Q.U.A.D., please contact Philippe, MH.

And hereís a Hug Squad in Iraq, featuring Rebecca Romijn-Stamos.

Posted by Tim Blair at July 6, 2004 02:28 PM
Comments

Hug the fuck outta them, Phillipe!

Posted by: James at July 6, 2004 at 02:42 PM

Attention H.U.G. S.Q.U.A.D: To work!

Posted by: CurrencyLad at July 6, 2004 at 02:45 PM

If I hada known that those babes were going over I woulda signed up!

Posted by: Razor at July 6, 2004 at 02:48 PM

From Mike's FAQ:
Q: "What cereal do you eat?"
A: "A combination of Post Raisin Bran and Start Smart from Kellogg's. (This is not a product endorsement. Both these cereals contain worms and anthrax and the chairmen of their companies live in North Korea and Tajikistan, respectively.)"

We've got a real philosopher, not to mention a true wit, to contend with here, folks. As if Blog doggers and blog loggers didn't tip us off to that fact.

Posted by: Timothy Lang at July 6, 2004 at 02:53 PM

He's got a clever editor, is all. This was the original answer:

Q: "What cereal do you eat?"
A: "I like to start the day off with 100 bowls of Corn Flakes, sprinkled generously atop a stack of flapjacks and pizzas. This gives me the vitamin content of one bowl of Total (this is not a product endorsement, not unless Total sends me some free product, dammit.)"

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 03:00 PM

I kid, I kid. Everyone knows that Moore wakes up to a bowl of Nacho Cheese Doritos every morning.

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 03:02 PM

What someone with skills needs to do is make Mikey's entries into short animated sketches or comics. I'm thinking something foul, like him on the couch with an open robe and the baseball cap eating Cap'n'Crunch straight out of the box and bitching up a storm (that's exactly what I pictured while reading the entry for some reason).

Posted by: Nathan Hamm at July 6, 2004 at 03:10 PM


Typical Mike Moore. Engorges himself on the fruits of capitalism and then insults the corporation that provided it.

I'm envisioning a commercial where Mike is swimming in a ocean of milk, scooping up the breakfeast flakes in his rapacious maw like so much plankton, while his older brothers look on and cry, "He hates it! Hey, Mikey!"

Posted by: Dave S. at July 6, 2004 at 03:44 PM


>He's got a clever editor, is all.

I'm betting on Winston Smith. Watch and see how much Memory Hole action that blog's going to generate. Get ready to save those screenshots, people!

Posted by: Dave S. at July 6, 2004 at 03:52 PM

Uhhh, I don't see how anyone could consider a description of what Moore eats to be an endorsement, unless one is looking for a proven path to ending up grotesquely, morbidly overweight.

And incapable of telling the truth.

I wouldn't mind the $60 million his work of fiction has raked in so far, though. I wonder how he squares picking the pocket of Joe Lunchpail and Sally Housecoat with his world-view. Maybe he pays Sweden's UN bill for a year.

Posted by: Crispytoast at July 6, 2004 at 03:54 PM

I find it incredible that he can still, seemingly without embarrassment, crap on about Saudi money influencing the flights out of the US after it has been thoroughly debunked. Has he no shame? Wait, don't answer that...

Posted by: Matt T at July 6, 2004 at 03:59 PM

Anyone who has a blog without a comments section is a wuss.

Posted by: Andjam at July 6, 2004 at 04:24 PM

Agreed, andjam. Without comments its not a blog its a column

Posted by: Dylan at July 6, 2004 at 04:35 PM

Oh, great going. Let's start a pool to bet on how quickly one of the lefterator trolls pops in and goes AHA WHAT ABOUT INSTAPUNDIT I GOT YOU HA HA HA HA!

Posted by: Sortelli at July 6, 2004 at 04:47 PM

"Anyone who has a blog without a comments section is a wuss."

Or can't afford to hire a babysitter.

Anyway, Lyle's blog is my favorite. Until such time as Lie Bot starts one, that is.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at July 6, 2004 at 05:07 PM

As Mike went on to say...."So I immediately called up the studio and, sure enough, in just our second weekend, "F9/11" had shot past $50 million! Whoa! More than double what it was last Sunday! No wonder foam is coming out of these guys' mouths!"

Posted by: Sincerity Slips at July 6, 2004 at 06:32 PM

"So I immediately called up the studio and, sure enough, in just our second weekend, 'F9/11' had shot past $50 million! Whoa! More than double what it was last Sunday! No wonder foam is coming out of these guys' mouths!"

How old is he? 50 or 12?

Posted by: Angus Jung at July 6, 2004 at 07:07 PM

Hey he could put an entry into the New Blog Showcase once he has a good entry up...could be a wait...

Posted by: Simon at July 6, 2004 at 08:01 PM

Does it worry anyone else that Mike has a link to "The Onion" under the heading "Check out the real news..."? Of course, this probably explains quite a lot.

Posted by: aquila audax at July 6, 2004 at 08:12 PM

That has to be a made-up site. An Oscar winner could not be that stupid. Right? Right...?

Posted by: ushie at July 6, 2004 at 10:18 PM

I hope Mike goes on to write about how much his parents suck and how everyone at school sucks too and how he's bored and that N'Sync rock more than the Backstreet Boys.

Posted by: Caz at July 6, 2004 at 11:06 PM

"Yes, it's true, I'm on the cover of Time magazine this week. And Entertainment Weekly. Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is next!!"

MM in a little Speedo? Ewwwww, grooosss!

Posted by: rinardman at July 6, 2004 at 11:37 PM

Sincerity Falls, etc: thanks for the link to the site listing the Fahrenheit 9/11 lies and exaggerations. One which caught my attention:

``...as most of us are aware, parents cannot - are not allowed to - sign up their children to serve in the military. The only person signing on the dotted line is the one who's serving.''

Not only that, if they're under 18 when they enlist, a parent has to give signed permission. And Marine recruiters, at least, can't accept anyone who doesn't have a high school diploma or GED. So, while a parent can actually prevent a child from joining the military (at least before his or her 18th birthday) there's no way they can force them to do so.

Posted by: Annalucia at July 7, 2004 at 01:01 AM

A Liebot blog would be good, but a Todd blog would be better. Alas, Todd can't read

Posted by: Patrick Banks at July 7, 2004 at 07:28 AM

MONEY EQUALS TRUTH. BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHT OF F911'S BOX OFFICE BONANZA.

Posted by: Sortelli Slips at July 7, 2004 at 10:29 AM

"A Liebot blog would be good, but a Todd blog would be better. Alas, Todd can't read"

That's never stopped _______________________!

Posted by: Jim Treacher at July 7, 2004 at 12:44 PM