June 24, 2004

LIFE'S UNBEARABLE CRUELTY

Got a call from The Australian earlier this week. Would I like to go to Malaysia for a few days, stay at these hotels, and have multiple LUNCHES (with EXPENSIVE WINE) for a tourism promotion theyíre planning? And would I like to be paid to do this?

Yes. Yes, I would.

So Iíll be away from tomorrow until Monday. While Iím, er, you know, working.

(Note to the burglar-Australian community: during my absence, the house will be guarded by an authentic Italian. Who, in the manner of her kind, carries knives.)

Posted by Tim Blair at June 24, 2004 03:23 AM
Comments

Just make sure that those lunches are loooong, and that you don't get tempted by any Malaysian army recruitment officers.

Posted by: gaz at June 24, 2004 at 03:44 AM

LOL at "burglar-Australian"! Good one, Tim. You might yet make ABC Editor in Chief.

Posted by: Richard at June 24, 2004 at 03:45 AM

hey tim, can i come too?

Posted by: Oktober at June 24, 2004 at 03:57 AM

Way to go, Tim. I have a thing for dark-haired Italian beauties myself.

Posted by: Mike James at June 24, 2004 at 04:27 AM

As long as we're at it, we might as well note that in 1993 Hillary was the 261st most popular girl's name in the U.S., but by 2002 it had fallen out of the top 1000. Meanwhile, Reagan went from 998 in 2003 to 201 in 2002.

It seems that in the our great big national "village", people who like "Hillary" just don't like children.

Posted by: Bruce Rheinstein at June 24, 2004 at 04:39 AM

Aargh!

Never mind, wrong thread.

Gotta go. I see the small school bus coming to take me home.

Posted by: Bruce Rheinstein at June 24, 2004 at 04:45 AM

beeb beeb - it's called the short bus. and mommy says it's for special kidz like me.

Posted by: jacksback at June 24, 2004 at 05:22 AM

what cruel, merciless taskmasters they are, tim.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at June 24, 2004 at 05:27 AM

Way to go, Tim! Report back on whether Malaysia is, as its ad campaign would have us believe, "truly Asia". (I now have parts of that commercial burned into my brain, thanks a bunch Malaysia.) And find out why they're imitating our flag.

If you do well, you can report on the veracity of the Indonesian ad, "My home is in yo nase, ya." (Well, that's what it sounded like she was singing.)

The Thai ads of this same time (Oct-Dec) '01 had a simple subtext to them: Thailand! We won't try to kill you!

Posted by: Angie Schultz at June 24, 2004 at 06:17 AM

Jeez, and I thought the Thai ad would be something simple like:

Thailand.
Two words.
Ping-pong Balls.

Posted by: David Crawford at June 24, 2004 at 10:23 AM

Malaysia... that's like Singapore with hookers, right? What? I'm just askin'...

And did George Soros ever give them their economy back?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at June 24, 2004 at 11:23 AM

I suggest you hold off on their slave-driver demands until they throw in a couple of nights at the Eastern and Oriental in Penang. Ask for Somerset Maugham's Room!

Posted by: yobbo at June 24, 2004 at 11:41 AM

i can see a Media Watch "cash for comments" story coming up...

Posted by: roscoe.p at June 24, 2004 at 12:13 PM

Dud hotels. Try the Regent next time.

And the Indonesian song lyrics are something like:

"Feel the nature be your surrounding,
Let the taste be in you
Touch the moment be in the nature
Let the flower eat your Austin"

Posted by: I hate KL at June 24, 2004 at 12:19 PM

Shame on you tim
How can you advertise a country whose politics you deplore!
This could be a clever ploy to lure you away from terra firma.
Send margo kringeton instead

Posted by: davo at June 24, 2004 at 01:56 PM

Just make sure your Italian house sitter isn't bringing a knife to a gunfight. Oh sorry, I forgot, only criminals have guns in Australia.

Posted by: charles austin at June 24, 2004 at 03:02 PM

Careful what you say when you're over there. They are very sensitive to slights against their ridiculous little country. They started a whole trade war with us over an article in the Sunday Times.

Posted by: Harry Hutton at June 24, 2004 at 04:03 PM

The Malaysians have picked a weird time for a tourism junket. Be sure to pack a gas mask.

Posted by: myrick at June 24, 2004 at 05:17 PM

Hey! I'm from Malaysia! Kuala Lumpur area!

Posted by: Rajan R at June 25, 2004 at 01:16 AM

I was only joking, Rajan. I visited Malaysia last year. It's a lovely place.

Posted by: Harry Hutton at June 25, 2004 at 03:46 AM

Knives? Against a thief? That could robber my master's house and rape me? I always carry my katana http://www.nihonto.ca/kinju/index.html Just in case....

Italian_non dark-haired_beauty

Posted by: Grazia at June 25, 2004 at 06:52 AM

Harry Hutton: Don't worry. I guess we have to cancel that planned trade war because of what you said

Posted by: Rajan R at June 25, 2004 at 12:50 PM

richard mcenroe: No... Singapore has legal hookers. Malaysia has Indonesian hookers. :-) Well, it's like Singapore, with Malay signboard and dirty streets. And a whole lot less Chinese. Oh, they use double yellow lines as oppose to single yellow lines...

Posted by: Rajan R at June 25, 2004 at 12:53 PM

You received a phone call from The Australian's ad dept asking if you would go to Malaysia, stay at those hotels, drink expensive wine, and be paid to WRITE AN ADVERTORIAL for their "Savour Malaysia" ad supplement.

Posted by: Lee at June 28, 2004 at 11:05 PM