April 24, 2004


Mike Carlton incorporates Churchill, Lincoln, King, Kennedy, and Whitlam in this Latham speech parody:

In the course of human events, four score and seven years ago, a date which will live in infamy, I had a dream that all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. But now the torch has been passed to a new generation of Aussies. Blessed are the peacemakers. We shall never surrender. This was their finest hour. If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. It's time.

Beating him to the joke, commenter CurrencyLad earlier posted his own Latham speech -- incorporating King, Churchill, Nixon, Lincoln, Kennedy, and Whitlam. Unlike Carlton's lazy, disjointed effort, this actually flows:

I have a dream that never before in the field of human history have the better angels of my nature let me down like this. People need to know whether their Opposition Leader is a copycat. Well, I'm not a copycat! Nevertheless, I choose to apologise in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy but because they are hard. It is my melancholy duty. Without any inhibitions of any kind I make it quite clear that I look to originality, free of any pangs as to my traditional links or kinship with plagiarism. It's time.

Better jokes, faster: itís the Internet way! (Given Carltonís deadline for todayís column, it would have been impossible for him to read CurrencyLadís gag before filing; still, Iím told Mike sometimes drops by. Hi, Mike! Donations at left! Thank you!)

Posted by Tim Blair at April 24, 2004 11:43 PM

Hey Tim,

Steel yourself and try not to cry. Phillip Adams has attacked you and other "Bushwhackers" in his column in the colour IKEA insert of today's Weakened Australian.

Oh, boy, does he really refute your arguments.

Well, actually, he doesn't really but he does get in some puns, and makes it VERY, VERY CLEAR that he doesn't like John Howard or George Bush.

Small mercies -- at least this week he spares us another mention of (a) how it was he who first likened Malcolm Fraser to an Easter Island statue, (b) how it was he who first informed Malcolm Muggeridge that Pasolini was an atheist, communist and gay; (c) how he and friends sent PM John Gorton some screed about the need for an Australian film industry; (d) how .....zzzzzz....

Posted by: Uncle Milk at April 25, 2004 at 12:39 AM

Carlton Lite on plagiarism - isn't that a case of the pot calling the kettle black?

To paraphrase (not plagiarise) Churchill "never in the field of inhuman Carlton-commentary, has so much been owed by such a limited intellect to so many" (all right, it doesn't scan very well, but it's late and i've made my point).

Posted by: tripebuster at April 25, 2004 at 12:45 AM

... oh yeah, where was I.

Hey, ilibcc and rosignl, a propos our earlier discussion of the Hon Candy Broad MLC, there's another Labor lady whose
name is even better suited to the Amazon.com cookbook section.

But it's the Libs who have, or rather once had, among their ranksthe female name with the most in-your-face street cred fo' they posse (at least if Darryl Strawberry be ones of yo' homeys).

Posted by: Uncle Milk at April 25, 2004 at 12:48 AM

i just love the 'former scout' shtick

what, she's forgotten how to tie knots?

Posted by: ilibcc at April 25, 2004 at 01:26 AM

...but, should we fail, we shall find ourselves in a new darkage, made all the worse by the likes of perverted Australian radio broadcasters...

Yeah, I know that sucks but I just woke up.

Posted by: S.A. Smith at April 25, 2004 at 03:18 AM

Mrs Bacon, ah yes. When her hubby's party reduced the Liberals to a rump at the last Tasmanian election a post-poll pic of the Bacons was headed in the Geelong Advertiser:
"Honey, I shrunk the Libs"

Posted by: slatts at April 25, 2004 at 02:02 PM