April 03, 2004
PASS OR PERISH
Caz does her homework and comes up with some rockin’ suicide haikus. A sample:
Posted by Tim Blair at April 3, 2004 10:23 PMThey all think I suck
But I’ll show them they’re all wrong
Detonation time
16, 15, 14, 13, 12,
11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
4, 3, 2, 1...HELL
It's 5-7-5 syllables, Richard, not 5-7-5 words. Here, like this:
I don't like the Jews
Papa gave me permission
To go kablooey
Perhaps Islamists
should get in on this fun game:
martyrdom haiku.
No god but Allah
No prophet but Mohammed
No joy but carnage.
Flesh disintegrates
And bones explode in splinters
My god points and laughs.
ah! spring in gaza
the cordite blooms yet again
achmed is red mist
a quadriplegic
styled leadership able
boom! vegetable
This is offensive.
I really don't think you should
be mocking Islam.
The ragheads might find
out about this site and want
to bomb us--or worse.
Instead, let's all write
poems about beauty and love...
What? What did you say?
Appeasement won't work?
Then let's nuke Afghanistan
and then do Iraq.
=========
Reminds me of high school English classes. (with slightly different subject matter.)
Damn. Now my head hurts.
Posted by: david at April 4, 2004 at 11:55 AMSaddam in prison
Lefties really hate that stuff
Fucking idiots
Press the button now
Seventy-two virgin smiles
Oh No! Mullah lied!
Kaboom - classic.
George Dubya Bush Lied
Cheney's Plastic Turkeys Flied
Peaceniks Multiplied
Here's the check-point now
Shit! I've pissed my pants again!
Arms in air.... Don't shoot!
Yassin in his chair
A sitting duck we are told
Another one gone
Mad Mullahs frowning
children screaming death to us
life continues on
What is that glowing
over the horizon there?
Oh, that's just Iran.
More haiku please folks
I am laughing my butt off
Set us up the bomb
I know the secret
of the Richard Corey poem:
He was bulldozered.
Metamorphosis:
First you're a flag-burning loon
Then you're a pancake.
Sadr City nuts
Riots, mass hysteria
Napalm sticks to skin
One Shiite cleric
Will be taking a dirt nap
If he don't chill out.
The young millionaire
Sat in his filthy mansion
And ate a shotgun.
"You must be this tall
To wear an explosive vest,"
Said the Hamas guy.
Damn you all to hell
Snorted coffee all over
Now must clean my desk.
My reward is what?
Seventy-two male virgins?
Forget it, Allah.
How come my husband
Wants me to blow myself up
All of a sudden?
Heck with martyrdom!
I'll fire up my credit cards
And go find some sales.
Chris Lee's a shoo-in
To play the part of Yassin
If they make a film.
Time to stop reading
Laughter uncontrollable
I suck at haiku.
I actually wrote this one quite a while ago:
Trustafarians
In Iraq as human shields...
What, like we won't shoot?