April 03, 2004

PASS OR PERISH

Caz does her homework and comes up with some rockin’ suicide haikus. A sample:

They all think I suck
But I’ll show them they’re all wrong
Detonation time

Posted by Tim Blair at April 3, 2004 10:23 PM
Comments

16, 15, 14, 13, 12,
11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
4, 3, 2, 1...HELL

Posted by: Richard at April 4, 2004 at 01:16 AM

It's 5-7-5 syllables, Richard, not 5-7-5 words. Here, like this:

I don't like the Jews
Papa gave me permission
To go kablooey

Posted by: Jim Treacher at April 4, 2004 at 02:48 AM

Perhaps Islamists
should get in on this fun game:
martyrdom haiku.

Posted by: Rebecca at April 4, 2004 at 05:26 AM


No god but Allah
No prophet but Mohammed
No joy but carnage.

Posted by: lyle at April 4, 2004 at 06:33 AM

Flesh disintegrates
And bones explode in splinters
My god points and laughs.

Posted by: lyle at April 4, 2004 at 06:46 AM

ah! spring in gaza
the cordite blooms yet again
achmed is red mist

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 4, 2004 at 07:03 AM

a quadriplegic
styled leadership able
boom! vegetable

Posted by: Ron Hardin at April 4, 2004 at 11:20 AM

This is offensive.
I really don't think you should
be mocking Islam.

The ragheads might find
out about this site and want
to bomb us--or worse.

Instead, let's all write
poems about beauty and love...
What? What did you say?

Appeasement won't work?
Then let's nuke Afghanistan
and then do Iraq.

=========

Reminds me of high school English classes. (with slightly different subject matter.)

Damn. Now my head hurts.

Posted by: david at April 4, 2004 at 11:55 AM

Saddam in prison
Lefties really hate that stuff
Fucking idiots

Posted by: Quentin George at April 4, 2004 at 06:10 PM


Press the button now
Seventy-two virgin smiles
Oh No! Mullah lied!

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:23 PM

Kaboom - classic.

George Dubya Bush Lied
Cheney's Plastic Turkeys Flied
Peaceniks Multiplied

Posted by: Quentin George at April 4, 2004 at 10:27 PM

Here's the check-point now
Shit! I've pissed my pants again!
Arms in air.... Don't shoot!

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:34 PM

Yassin in his chair
A sitting duck we are told
Another one gone

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:40 PM

Mad Mullahs frowning
children screaming death to us
life continues on

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:44 PM

What is that glowing
over the horizon there?
Oh, that's just Iran.

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:47 PM

David's right, it does make one's head hurt.....

Posted by: Kaboom at April 4, 2004 at 10:48 PM

More haiku please folks
I am laughing my butt off
Set us up the bomb

Posted by: Baltic Blog at April 5, 2004 at 07:49 AM

I know the secret
of the Richard Corey poem:
He was bulldozered.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 08:47 AM

Metamorphosis:
First you're a flag-burning loon
Then you're a pancake.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 08:55 AM

Sadr City nuts
Riots, mass hysteria
Napalm sticks to skin

Posted by: Baltic Blog at April 5, 2004 at 10:22 AM

One Shiite cleric
Will be taking a dirt nap
If he don't chill out.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 10:30 AM

The young millionaire
Sat in his filthy mansion
And ate a shotgun.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 10:44 AM

"You must be this tall
To wear an explosive vest,"
Said the Hamas guy.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 10:57 AM

Damn you all to hell
Snorted coffee all over
Now must clean my desk.

Posted by: Nic at April 5, 2004 at 11:39 AM

My reward is what?
Seventy-two male virgins?
Forget it, Allah.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 12:15 PM

How come my husband
Wants me to blow myself up
All of a sudden?

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 12:34 PM

Heck with martyrdom!
I'll fire up my credit cards
And go find some sales.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 12:43 PM

Chris Lee's a shoo-in
To play the part of Yassin
If they make a film.

Posted by: Donnah at April 5, 2004 at 01:04 PM

Time to stop reading
Laughter uncontrollable
I suck at haiku.

Posted by: Charlotte at April 5, 2004 at 07:20 PM

I actually wrote this one quite a while ago:

Trustafarians
In Iraq as human shields...
What, like we won't shoot?

Posted by: Reginleif the Valkyrie at April 6, 2004 at 11:00 AM