March 31, 2004


In comments at The Daily Ablution:

Did anybody catch Robert Fisk inadvertently fisk himself on the BBC programme about Osama bin Laden last night? He was describing how he took bin Laden's picture in Sudan, with words to the effect of how his subject stood in the road in flowing white robes. Instantly Fisk's picture comes up with bin Laden standing in the road in flowing brown robes.

Whatever their colour, those robes canít conceal a genuine man of cats:

The British journalist Robert Fisk was invited to his mountain lair.

After a long, cold journey he was taken to a tent. Osama entered, "like a cat," Fisk said, "A very, very lithe muscular man."

Well, he has to be, to crawl through that little kitty door.

Posted by Tim Blair at March 31, 2004 12:43 PM

I think Fisk may actually want to bugger Bin Laden. It would explain quite a bit ...

Posted by: Bill at March 31, 2004 at 12:45 PM

I agree with Bill. Fisk has an obsession with bin Laden that goes past hero worship and straight into puppy love territory.

Posted by: Carl in N.H. at March 31, 2004 at 01:10 PM

It's simple folks, Fisk greatly admires Bin Liner as at last he has met someone who hates the west as much as he does.

London to a brick I would say that when Fisk is soaping his dick in the shower Bin Liner is not far from his mind.

Posted by: Dog at March 31, 2004 at 01:17 PM

goddammit Dog, I am about to call it a night and now that image is in my head !

Posted by: Carl in N.H. at March 31, 2004 at 01:42 PM

Well that is appropriate since it is my understanding that Osama is a pretty common kitty name, I think it means lion or something

Posted by: Roy at March 31, 2004 at 03:18 PM

Many of these reporters like to write nice stuff about homocidal maniacs because in the long run their lack of ethics will pay off with them being the only ones said maniacs trust to do further interviews. it is the "peter arnette" syndrome.

on the second part.. hmm I have seen osama in his videos but I still find it hard to imagine him as a man with a six pack and rippling muscles.

Posted by: scottie at March 31, 2004 at 04:04 PM

Try focus guys, Fisk has bin Laden with pussy thassall.

He tried to do a wife swap with another guy married to a kitty but they told him ; "you can't swing a cat in here..."

So he made a feline for the Middle East and was yassin time to but a new second hand wheelchair "slightly soiled", from a Mrs Yassin of 13 Fatwa Crescent, Jihad-on-the-Wold.

Apparently he is dyslexic because he wrote on it : "Veni vidi vici" which he translated as Video of blood with Vicky.....

Hopefully the BBC director will have him shot on location.

Posted by: Traps at March 31, 2004 at 04:26 PM

Alistair you spoke as Marc Twain wrote, you made the BBC great .
you were always humble and never vindictive.
your wisdom and truthes were always easily understood.
Now The BBC has all but destroyed the goodwill you built over 58 years.
We will sorely miss you.

Posted by: davo at March 31, 2004 at 06:46 PM

Instantly Fisk's picture comes up with bin Laden standing in the road in flowing brown robes.

Fisk, that's Obi-Wan Kenobi you're thinking of.

Posted by: Quentin George at March 31, 2004 at 06:58 PM

darth fisk?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 31, 2004 at 10:14 PM

Osama had better be lithe, as well as packing a camel's hump, if he expects to wend his way through tons of rubble into the daylight after all these many months.

Posted by: Tongue Boy at March 31, 2004 at 11:46 PM

At least we will be able to get a bin Laden DNA sample by swabbing Fisk's mouth.

Posted by: Latino at April 1, 2004 at 12:41 AM

Bill exposes a profound ignorance of who Fisk is. Anyone willing to be fair to Fisk as both a reporter and a man will see that he clearly wants to be buggered *by* Osama.

Posted by: Ken HPoJ at April 1, 2004 at 12:59 AM

Q: Why do al-Qaeda leaders wear flowing brown robes?

A: You know how British soldiers used to wear red coats so the blood wouldn't show? Same principle.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at April 1, 2004 at 01:56 AM

Ken I put your theory to him and he said he was buggered if that was true....anyhow his name is Roger and he was hoping to be rogered rather...

Apparently the real hero Robert Fisk has penned a new musical entitled "CATS". In it a man with whiskers (could be Osama but now played by a margarine salesman from Cleveland, Ohio)learns to walk erect.

While seeking the secret of fire he travels to Melbourne where he meets a Persian (cat) with a wonderful pedigree.

They fall in love and after a few short months the Persian is pregnant. She carries badly and has a terrible Labour so they call the infant Mark Latham Bin Laden...and the rest you know...

Posted by: Traps at April 1, 2004 at 01:57 AM

Tongue Boy is right. Osama "was" not "is".

Posted by: Theodopoulos Pherecydes at April 1, 2004 at 02:39 AM

anyhow his name is Roger and he was hoping to be rogered rather...

I hate my parents...

Posted by: Roger Bournival at April 1, 2004 at 03:49 AM

Look, Bin laden's a good looking guy, but that doesn't excuse his behaviour. I mean, girls, he blew shit up. Our allies. He dragged them through the streets of Iraq, and he's coming for us next. Doesn't the flag mean anything anymore?

You guys better settle down with that "Toungue Boy" and "rogering" talk too, we've got a war to win for fucksake. A bit of saltpeter in your diets and sme national service will sort you lot out.

So what's this shit about about Fisk anyway? Are we really discussing the colour of some asshole's robe or is this some sort of code? Some wanker above was talking about blowing him or something. I mean it's friday night and I used to play footy, so no-one's flicked more towels than me if you get my drift, but Tim seems to make sense one minute and then he's talking about whether Bin Ladens fucking clothes co-ordinate. Shit man, get a fucking room!

Call me old-Fashioned, Timmy, but that murdering shithead's outfit would look better with a little of the new-season's color of bright arterial fucken red Am I right Shirly Temple?

Posted by: Endgame at April 2, 2004 at 11:28 PM