March 27, 2004


A new poll is up at left. I expected greater early support for the SNURB T-104 Hell Brick, but you know how fussy people are about ordnance these days.

Posted by Tim Blair at March 27, 2004 02:14 AM

As much as I like the idea of "thoroughly dried ... cat-skin", I like the sound of "Pilger ... Sky Turtle". Please forgive me.

Posted by: Alan M. Robertson at March 27, 2004 at 02:41 AM

where's the picture it is reffering to?

Posted by: Frank J. at March 27, 2004 at 03:42 AM

Given their feelings towards terrorists, I expect he'll see a Nobel Peace Prize.

Posted by: Scott at March 27, 2004 at 03:44 AM

You can't really shoot the heat seeking AIM 9 at a person. Of course, you could set them on fire first..... wait, that might work out quite nicely after all.

Posted by: matt at March 27, 2004 at 03:46 AM

I've always found the Cellmelter 6 to give satisfying results. Unlike the Hellbrick, the debris washes away clean.

Another satisfied BunkieCo customer.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at March 27, 2004 at 04:11 AM

i went turtle too.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 27, 2004 at 04:11 AM

Hysterical. I was going to blog about the new Israeli weaponry but you've completely trumped me. BTW, it's rather interesting that a press conference about these inventions was given concurrent with the elevation of new Hamas "leadership."

Posted by: Roger L. Simon at March 27, 2004 at 04:17 AM

It's always refreshing to focus on the lighter side of terrorism and jihad, keep it up.

Posted by: Ross at March 27, 2004 at 04:36 AM

That's no sky turtle! It's the Great God Om!

Posted by: F451 at March 27, 2004 at 04:53 AM

Scott: Actually, all he needs to do is act like he's compromising, hand out a peace plan that makes pacifists go oooooh and aaaaaahh, and the Swedish dudes in charge of the Nobel Peace Price would hand it out to them. Which is kinda sad, the Norwegians give out prizes for Physics, etc. based on qualifications some decades after a discovery. If the Nobel Peace Prize committee waited that long, very few of those people carrying a Nobel today would be carrying one..

Posted by: Rajan R at March 27, 2004 at 05:10 AM

I think the first selection should be "AGM-114C Hellfire." The Sidewinder is an air-to-air weapon. (On the other hand, if Rantissi is riding in his Gulfstream on the way to Oslo to pick up his Nobel, . . . .)

Posted by: Mike at March 27, 2004 at 05:13 AM

Do I remember wrong, or does Arafat tote a Nobel?

Posted by: Crid at March 27, 2004 at 05:46 AM

Do I remember wrong, or does Arafat tote a Nobel?

Don't be silly, that would make the Nobel Peace Prize a total farce!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at March 27, 2004 at 05:52 AM

Seriously? Its a Nobel Peace Prize.

Followed by an Oscar for Sean Penn for his stunning portrayal of him in the Michael Moore directed "Bush is Hitler"

Posted by: Quentin George at March 27, 2004 at 06:45 AM

Hey, I like the way "Snurb" thinks!

(Blatant simpsons reference)

Posted by: Quentin George at March 27, 2004 at 08:17 AM

I think this is one of the rare cases when the long-term environmental impact of the Hell Brick can be justified.

The permanent impregnation of dead cat particles into the surrounding buildings and bedrock would serve as a suitable reminder of the deceased.

Posted by: EvilPundit at March 27, 2004 at 09:36 AM

Not surprisingly, the Sydney Morning Herald is pissing their collective pants over the demise of Dr. Death's predecessor.

Israel's assassination of a radical Palestinian leader and Washington's failure to condemn the killing has lit a bonfire under Arab and Muslim anger.

By what I can gather from Paul McGeough's breathless prose, the "anger" appears confined to the Palestinians. One shudders at what the reaction may be from the nuancy class should Osama bin Laden be captured or proven dead.

Posted by: Spiny Norman at March 27, 2004 at 10:55 AM

I would have thought you'd include either a 7.62mm Smokeless Match Grade Lapua Round or Armour Piercing Fin Stabilised Discarding Sabot Round, both kindly donated by the Golani Brigade of the IDF from a distance of 1000m or better.

Posted by: Razor at March 27, 2004 at 11:52 AM


"Armour Piercing Fin Stabilised Discarding Sabot Round"

This has the added advantage of radioactively contaminating the surroundings with the dreaded Depleted Uranium thus offing the car swarm that always follows.

Posted by: Dean Douthat at March 27, 2004 at 12:45 PM


Don't forget, DU rounds are "self-sharpening" - they just keep on giving.

Posted by: Russell at March 27, 2004 at 12:53 PM

1. Give a decent slab of Oz land to the Israelis; let 'em settle here.

2. Nuke the whole bloody Middle East.

3. Tell the Nth Koreans and other assorted arseholes they'll get the same if they don't toe the line NOW.

4. Problem solved.

Posted by: Nuke'em at March 27, 2004 at 01:14 PM

I went for the SNURB. I mean, who can resist ordnance with the name "HELLBRICK"? And the specifications were COOL...

Unfortunately, Arafat did win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.

And to think that Nobel's invention of dynamite funded this. What would Nobel say to the use of his concept by a man who won his namesake prize?

Posted by: JeffS at March 27, 2004 at 01:47 PM

Aren't we cynical? I voted Nobel peace prize, and it looks like most others did, too.

Posted by: TimT at March 27, 2004 at 02:25 PM

It's why I voted for the SNURB T-104 Hell Brick. Aside from the cool specifications and nifty name, I mean. Why give him two Nobels?

Posted by: JeffS at March 27, 2004 at 02:41 PM

Whoops -- the poll is for Dr. Death, not Arafat. This would be his first Peace Prize.

Still, I stand by my vote for the SNURB.

Posted by: JeffS at March 27, 2004 at 02:46 PM

Speaking of Hell Bricks, I recall reading recently that some genius in the military (no sarcasm, this dude rocks) realized that with the accuracy afforded by GPS and laser guidance, there was no need for aircraft to drop explosive bombs onto tanks - a hunk of concrete with a guidance system strapped to it would do just as well. So after 100,000 years of warfare, we're back to chucking rocks. As a taxpayer, I approve.

Now, I think the Israelis should strap a GPS onto a prize-grade hog and drop that from altitude onto the next terrorist son-of-a-bitch they target. Imagine the demoralizing effect on the target's coterie as a heaven-sent pig flattens their leader and explodes in a fine lung-filling-and-burqa-soaking unclean mist.

Posted by: Dave S. at March 27, 2004 at 03:50 PM

Oh, man! You just brought to life the old saying "if pigs could fly....."

Posted by: JeffS at March 27, 2004 at 03:59 PM

The Pilger U-235 "Sky Turtle" seems like a logical choice but, remember, every time one is used it leaves *thousands* of American servicemen sick and dying. So even George W Bush is only prepared to use a couple of dozen per week.

I was concerned that the "Mincehammer" munitions pod was doing poorly in early polling but Blair readers have subsequently shown their deep appreciation of its qualities. As with all Vulcan weapons systems, however, taking out only mouth-frothing terrorist with a Mincehammer seems a bit like using a sledgehammer to crack a peanut. But one of those big funerals with the guns and covered faces - now that's a different matter. That's where the Mincehammer, with its multi-lauch capabilities applied to its two major features - mincing and hammering - comes into its own.

All in all, the Peace Prize seems the most likely - got my vote!

Posted by: Bob Bunnett at March 27, 2004 at 05:44 PM

The Nobel Peace Prize certainly has the most nuance. No argument there.

Posted by: JeffS at March 28, 2004 at 01:25 AM

I voted Hellfire-thingy, but I would have preferred Flying Sharks equipped with Lasers.

Posted by: ushie at March 28, 2004 at 01:37 AM

Flying Shark has nothing on Flying Crocodile, I wanted a very scientific discussion of this on the Cartoon Network.

Posted by: Sortelli at March 28, 2004 at 08:59 AM

I voted for the Peace Prize; I have complete confidence in Norway's politicians.

Posted by: Dean Douthat at March 29, 2004 at 02:35 AM