March 18, 2004

TABLES OF PERCEPTION

You canít listen to classic hits radio for more than fifteen minutes without hearing a song from The Tables, a famous 60s band starring dead Jim Morrison. Did you know that Jim Morrison got the name for his band from an old poem by William Blake? Itís true! Here are the words:

If the tables of perception were cleansed
All things would appear much neater in this rented dump

Iím reminded of Jim Morrison and his musical friends by Sam Guthrie, Margo Kingstonís new Webdiary project. Sam, according to Margo, has a masters degree in Political Science and International Relations. He also has a doctorate in retarded metaphors:

The tables of perception have been turned, and those who have fixed there colours to the mast of tunnel vision will be blown away by the resurgence of UN multilateralism: the only Coalition with diversity of opinion enough to keep us safe, and win this war.

This so impressed the Sydney Morning Herald that Samís crap is currently promoted off the main SMH website. Go theyíre ... I mean their ... no, wait ... there and see. Tim Dunlopís weekly Webdiary blog round-up is, by way of contrast, crisply-written and way-readable, even though itís dominated by leftoids. (Question: Does Margo pay him for this? Her Webdiary gig earns Margo a six-figure salary; if Tim writes a Webdiary piece every single week, shouldnít he be entitled to a fraction of the action? Is Margo exploiting the workers?)

Anyway, one blogger has made it her bloggy ambition to get a Blogjam mention. Bring on Wogdiary!

Posted by Tim Blair at March 18, 2004 02:28 AM
Comments

OMG I'm dizzy from being whipsawed hither and yon by those mashed metaphors!

Posted by: Pat at March 18, 2004 at 02:32 AM

If I were just slightly more egocentric, I would start to believe that the Webdiary's cadre of Contributors with Impressive Degrees in Important Subjects exists just to make me feel smarter.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at March 18, 2004 at 03:15 AM

WTF? No, really, WTF?
I read the article and I don't get it. The problem is that America is fighting a war in Iraq because that makes Al-Quiada hate everyone, because if you just fought them in Afghanistan that would be OK, unless America was there, then its bad, and we shouldn't fight anyway because fighting and bad and "terrorist" is just a white man's construct.
Oh, and we should leave Iraq, but just long enough to don blue berets because the Iraqis don't like the idea of Americans helping them but would like to see the French and Syrians there (probably due to the long history of UN helping Iraqis and the UN knows how to handle wogs and stuff.)

By the way, he used "whilst" four times. Is that an Australianism? Because in the States its a sign of a condescending A-hole.

Posted by: Monkeyboy at March 18, 2004 at 03:22 AM

Here are some hyphens for Sam:

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Other than that, this is my favourite bit:

Mi>...a smorgasbord of commentary from Coalition States furiously seeking to thrust Spain into that same narrow strategic hole they have dug for themselves.

Can one furiously thrust someone into a narrow, self-dug hole while offering them food for thought? To ask the question is to answer it!

Posted by: reg at March 18, 2004 at 04:23 AM

Diversity of opinion wins wars? Damn. Might as well give away all this superior firepower.

Posted by: Chrees at March 18, 2004 at 04:28 AM

Damn, Chrees. You beat me to it.

Posted by: Dave P. at March 18, 2004 at 05:21 AM

Barely a third of the way through the piece, I found myself succumbing to the blinkered winds, masts, tables, and black-and-white cesspits of tunnel vision: "EITHER make some sort of point, Sam, OR quit writing."

If it turns out, to the astonishment of everyone but Guthrie, that diversity of opinion is actually able to keep anyone safe from anything, we'd be happy to lend John Kerry to the UN. He's got enough diversity of opinion inside his own head to defend the whole world.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at March 18, 2004 at 05:45 AM

Man, them Aussie lefties sure must've gotten hold of some serious dope...

Posted by: mojo at March 18, 2004 at 07:10 AM

Hmmm, it will be interesting to see if wogs on the web are less appropriate than "niggers in the woodpile".

Posted by: fidens at March 18, 2004 at 08:06 AM

"Fixed there (sic) colours to the mast of tunnel vision" ??????????????????
That is one bloody awful metaphor (or is it two, or one and a half, i can't really tell.....)
I didn't read the rest of the article, I got enough of a headache reading the snippet posted up there. Maybe some enlightened lefty can explain it to me

Posted by: Johnny Wishbone at March 18, 2004 at 09:23 AM

Speaking of the misuses of Blake by moronic rockers and other "artists", I wonder what they'd do with this little nugget of wisdom in the context of US/EU tensions (as I'm sure Blake would have seen it):

"The tygers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction."

Posted by: sweete at March 19, 2004 at 01:29 AM