March 10, 2004


Is the silver-tongued senator from Massachusetts a fake turkey believer? Reader Bart N. writes: "I don’t know if you have seen this yet, but on John Kerry’s web-site he mentions the ‘fake’ turkey incident." To be fair, Kerry isn’t directly quoted:

John then spoke about the Medicare Bill recently signed by the president that effectively forces people into expensive HMO plans and prevents Medicare from using its formidable consumer base to drive the bulk purchase of expensive prescription drugs down. He also spoke about the recent Bush Thanksgiving visit to our military inIraq, carrying a platter laden down with a fake turkey, smiling for a photo op.

Hmmm. James Lileks asks:

I’d love to know if Kerry said it was a fake turkey, or whether that’s the author’s addition.

My money’s on Kerry. In December, the silver-tongued senator (!!!) released this text of a speech to the Associated Press:

"On issue after issue, George Bush has given America a raw deal, and everyone in this room knows it. George Bush goes to Baghdad to carry around a fake Thanksgiving turkey while he cuts support for our troops and 40,000 veterans are left on a hospital waiting list."

That’s an interesting line from someone who claims Republicans are "going to do everything possible to tear down my character and Teresa. That's the way they operate."

Ol’ Silver Mouth seems to be doing a perfectly good job of that himself. Meanwhile Jay Ambrose has more on Kerry’s Haitian warlust, earlier mentioned here:

So now -- based on what he said in criticizing President Bush -- we know that Sen. John Kerry would put the lives of U.S. troops at risk in a civil war to save a tyrannical, corrupt, incompetent regime in Haiti.

Where exactly is Kerry coming from? Is this the same presidential candidate who refused to vote for funds supporting the U.S. presence in Iraq and who to this day does not seem entirely clear on the importance of the war there to U.S. security? Is this the same man who made a virtual career in his younger days of denouncing U.S. intervention in Vietnam?

Aristide must be another of Kerry’s foreign government friends. In other flip-flop news, Bill Herbert pursues the evolving views of Robert Fisk.

UPDATE. Mark Steyn describes Kerry’s observation that Bush should have sent troops to help Aristide as "the most stupid of his campaign".

UPDATE II. A veteran comments about Kerry’s hospital waiting lists.

Posted by Tim Blair at March 10, 2004 12:35 PM

If I weren’t so pathetically lazy, I’d jump up & found a Fake Flying Plastic Turkey Band.

Posted by: ForNow at March 10, 2004 at 12:51 PM

As a native of the state Kerry has represented for too long (Massachusetts), I'm sooo glad he is getting the national exposure he so richly deserves. Say what you will about our other senator (Kennedy) at least with Kennedy you know his positions and he doesn't waver very often. What you see is pretty much what you get.

It's a different story with Kerry. He's been the Lt. Governor here as well as one of our senators and I couldn't tell you exactly where he stands, currently, on anything. If he gets a good pounding perhaps someone in my state will have the balls, and the backing, to challenge his seat in the senate. I can't tell you how sick I am of this person.

To anyone who may think I dislike him only because he's a 'liberal', please let me disabuse you of that notion. Most of my family have been hardcore Liberal (classic definition) Democrats and a couple were John Kennedy supporters/workers when Kennedy was just starting in politcs. (I was raised believing that Conservatives were nasty, mean people; while Liberals were kind and benevolent.)

I don't have a knee-jerk reaction against anyone who is a Liberal .. Democrat or otherwise, or anything else. I used to consider myself one many moons ago and there are some things I agree with the Liberal Dems. on. (I classify myself as an Independent now, but am probably more near Libertarian if anything right now.)

Anyway, as long as someone doesn't make blanket assumptions that all liberals/conservatives are jerks/geniuses I respect their views, even though I may not agree with them.

Kerry is not fit to be our next president. I don't say this because of his ideology, but because he's just too wobbly. It's hard to discern if he *has* any core beliefs or views. Things are too unstable in the world for me to want to inflict our dear Senator Kerry upon it.

I find it rather amusing that people who would be tearing at Bush right and left if he had Kerry's record on position change, are terming Kerry's illogical waffles as 'nuanced'. What a crock of BS.

For those of you coming to Boston for the big party (DNC), I suggest you seek out some natives. Ask them about Kerry. Ask them if they know Kerry's past/current postions on any issue. Avoid the transplants from NY, Midwest, or West Coast. They have not had to put up with this creep as long as we have. Get some feedback on Kerry from those of us who know and love him best. Also listen to local talk radio. You'll hear some interesting things about our dear senator.

Posted by: Chris Josephson at March 10, 2004 at 01:22 PM

Yeah Kerry is a true unadulterated schmuck.

But hey! Guess what, so is Bush.

Given a choice which to save from dieing, I think I would go with C.

Oh yeah.

Posted by: IXLNXS at March 10, 2004 at 01:39 PM

Chris: If the democrat faithful like you feel this way about Kerry, how did he manage to win the nomination race? What's wrong with Edwards or Lieberman or whoever?

Posted by: Yobbo at March 10, 2004 at 02:16 PM

Subject of today's discussion: Kerry is a schmuck! But so is Bush!

Everyone is stupid! So don't vote! I mean, let them all die then cook and eat their bodies hurhurhur I AM DUMB LIEK SAND


*end insightful political commentary from the greatest genius of our generation*

Posted by: SORTELLICMEKJSADXS at March 10, 2004 at 02:33 PM

"If the democrat faithful like you ...

I'm not a Democrat, faithful or otherwise. I can't find *one* party or ideology that fits all my views. I find it hard to understand people who are true 'party loyalists', no matter the party.

Blind faith in any one party or ideology frightens me because I find 'party loyalists' tend to excuse things if it's done for the 'good of the party'.

For example, I can't understand the 'Plastic Turkey' repeaters. It was proved false at the time it was alleged, yet it is still repeated, as truth, by many who *must* have seen it exposed as false. I assume many people repeat it because it is a way to embarass Bush and they don't really care if it's true or not. They have blind faith that Bush is evil and wrong so anything can be used to defeat him, even lies.

Posted by: Chris Josephson at March 10, 2004 at 02:43 PM

"Blind faith in any one party or ideology frightens me because I find 'party loyalists' tend to excuse things if it's done for the 'good of the party'."

Blind faith being the word. Religious zealots political parties. All the same. Extremist are whats wrong. We should stop extremist. Show me an extremist, and I'll show you someone who is pushing for extremes. But whats extreme for some isn't for others. Maybe we need a place to send all extremist. A island. Somewhere damned miserable to like punish them.

"How's about Australia?"

Damned good idea mate.

Posted by: IXLNXS at March 10, 2004 at 03:05 PM

I just don't understand why Izzie dislikes Australia so much.

Posted by: Screamapiller at March 10, 2004 at 03:24 PM

Mark Steyn describes Kerry’s observation that Bush should have sent troops to help Aristide as "the most stupid of his campaign".

This is reckless of Steyn. Hell, Kerry's not even the nominee yet. We've got seven long months to go. There will be plenty of opportunities for him to say something much stupider than that. Steyn needs to pace himself.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at March 10, 2004 at 03:24 PM

I just don't understand why Izzie dislikes Australia so much.

'Cos he's a dick.

Posted by: Quentin George at March 10, 2004 at 03:27 PM

Hey, send your extremists elsewhere. we've already got Margo and PHatty and the entire arts faculties of 30-odd universities. Haiti's good this time of year.

Posted by: slatts at March 10, 2004 at 03:27 PM

I don't understand why IXLPITZ keeps posting.

Posted by: Sortelli at March 10, 2004 at 03:35 PM

"I just don't understand why Izzie dislikes Australia so much."

"Cos he's a dick."

Naw actually I think Australia would be a wonderful country. That you stand a good chance of surving the global conflicts ahead. That your areas are alot like where I am from, tho your crocs may be a bit meaner than our allies. If you really fail to grasp things then you need to step back a bit, drink alot of beer, then take a few more steps back. It's all parody. every damnded bit of it. Kerry, Bush? It just doesn't matter mate. Buisness as usual.

Australian Society Protecting Cannabal Australians


parody. ASPCA is an American institution for protecting animals, especially household pets. maybe my next round I'll suggest eating household pets.

Posted by: IXLNXS at March 10, 2004 at 03:41 PM

I think IMXYZPTLK was writing a song for the Fake Flying Plastic Turkey Band in that last post. "Religious zealots political parties. All the same. Extremist are whats wrong. We should stop extremist!" We didn't start the fire!

Posted by: dorkafork at March 10, 2004 at 03:44 PM

There was an episode of "Sliders" where some weird virus killed nearly all the men of earth. Thing was, Australia was far enough away or something that they were relatively unaffected (kinda like hoof'n'mouth, eh?), and Australians were the only population on earth capable of reproducing, and therefore surviving. This made Australia the lone superpower, and Australian women were basically running the world. A Margo wet dream? Maybe, with all the kicking ass on "Yanks". Maybe not, what with all the unilateral aggression and such.

Anyone else see that show? Or am I the only person who watched "Sliders"? Probably.

Posted by: Screamapiller at March 10, 2004 at 04:35 PM

Okay, there was the episode with Australia whipping everyone's ass in the menless world, and there was the one where the United States and Soviet-controlled North Australia were at war in a world ruled by hippies.


Man, someone could get a phony article based on all that as deep, thoughtful allegory into Webdiary, fo' shizzle. You have your assignment, Iowahawk! Or Sortelli. Or anyone!

Posted by: Screamapiller at March 10, 2004 at 04:52 PM

Now I can't comment about the '40,000 veterans on hospital waiting list' but I can tell you about my experience at a VA hosptial tonight. My fiance was going to drag me to an ER somewhere, have a 3" gash on my left foot. I knew it needed looked at cause it might also be broken. I had a copy of my dd-214 and said that I'll go to the VA ER although I wasn't looking forward to it. We arrived at 1900 with nothing but a limp, no med insurance, no VA card and dd-214. Had to fill out 2 pages of paperwork and was being looked at within half an hour. It was cleaned, x-rayed, bandaged and I was provided with a special shoe to wear along with pain meds and antibiotics. We left at 2100. They offered to put me in a wheel chair and have somebody take me to x-ray. They were the most professional and kind people I have ever met in an ER. I want to say Thank You President Bush for what you have done for Veterans. If it wasn't for his policies I would have had to go another ER and would be looking at a large bill.

Posted by: Hujonwi at March 10, 2004 at 05:07 PM

It was thirty years ago today, Uncle Noamy taught the band to bray,
They’ve been going in & out of style, but in the end they always mount the pile,
So may I introduce to you, the act you've known for all these years,
Uncle Noam’s Fake Plastic Turkey Baaa-a-a-a-aand!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We’re Uncle Noam’s Fake Flying Plastic Turkeeey Band!
We hope you’ll gobble up the show!
We’re Uncle Noamy’s Flown-in Phony Turkeeey Band!
We hope you’ll help old Quetzal grow! (oh ho ho ho!)
Unnncle Noam’s Fake Flyyying Unnncle Noam’s Unfryyying
Unnncle Noam’s Undyyying Tur! Key! Band!

It’s wonderful to plink here, a pisser’s what it is,
You’re such a cool, hip audience we’d like to sing to you the new
Evolving views of Fisk!

I don’t really wanna stop the show, but I thought you might like to know,
That Monsieur Heinz is gonna bring some dung, & he wants you each to stretch your tongue,
So let me introduce to you the diversion from Baghdad cheers,
Uncle Noam’s Fake Plastic Turkey Baaa-a-a-a-aand!

Posted by: ForNow at March 10, 2004 at 05:16 PM

What would you think if I changed my tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears, and I'll say, "Bring it on"
And my name is John F'in' Kerry

I get by with a little help from my friends
I get by the way I served in Viet-sorry
Gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when Chirac is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you're not with Kim Jong?)
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends

Do you need Janey Fonda?
Yes I need Jane Fonda to love.
Could it be Kho-o-meini?
I want Khomeini to love.

Would you believe in unilateral might?
Yes, when it happens during Clinton's time.
I'll ask you again, are you sure that's right?
Well, on second thought I changed my mind.
Mmmm, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Posted by: dorkafork at March 10, 2004 at 06:18 PM


Posted by: Puce at March 10, 2004 at 06:51 PM

Hey Chris,
As another Kerrylander do you remember his east/west waffle on the Mass. Pike Tolls to pay for the Big Rip-off, I mean Big Dig?

In a state that takes only 2 hours to drive the length of (okay 3 if you count the Cape) Kerry could find 3 different geographical groups to pander to, the urban east (Boston area) the suburban center (Worcester and environs) and the "rural" west. This guy hasn't held a principled opinion on anything, ever.

Posted by: Alan at March 10, 2004 at 10:34 PM


Yes. I remember. That's why I think people should ask those of us who have known Kerry for years. We have LOTS of stories. It's also very telling that many here can't list ONE Kerry position because he's flopped around so much. How long has he been the state's senator? .. Too long.

Posted by: Chris Josephson at March 11, 2004 at 01:16 AM

Ah, Dorkafork, most timely & well phrased!

Posted by: ForNow at March 11, 2004 at 02:10 AM

"Laden down with" is redundant.

"Laden with" is quite enough.

Kerry's website needs an editor.

Not to get all snarky and picky or anything like that.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at March 11, 2004 at 04:39 AM