March 02, 2004


Drive the ladies wild with that musky Tora Bora dirt grave aroma! Worn and recommended by celebrity journalist Robert Fisk: "A few drops of Eau De Osama, and they won't able to keep their hands off you!" Available now at the finest Lahore perfumiers, or anywhere else licensed to sell bottled cat urine.

Posted by Tim Blair at March 2, 2004 03:37 PM

Hey, changing the subject a tad, but have we done "Margo's Back, As Loony As Ever"?

Go see.

Onya MK!

Posted by: Nemesis at March 2, 2004 at 04:38 PM

Tim I personally have had it with your uncalled for attacks on Robert Fisk.

Fisk was very gallant considering and I found his gesture of bleeding profusely very touching.

Of course none of you give a shit that one of the rocks hit Robert on his lobotomy scar....he admitted later that it was very scarry.

Now the weather.......

Mind you I think you have missed out on the real fragrance.....Eua de Saddam ...from whiff of this and you won't want to come within 300 Yardleys of the wearer.....

Vanity Fair described it as : "On the combined aggression with fire". (Simply put teargas with Napalm)

The theme tune is quite nice : If you go into Ad Dawr today you're in for a big surprise, if you step into a hole beware there's so much fucking lice, because today's the day the Baaths have their

Don't let me catch anyone sniggering it will take them a few short Millenia to catch up on advertising....

How about : There's a hole in my pocket ..dead licea, dead licea....dead licea a hole etc etc

Picture the TV ad......

Many people ask me why my leader is living in a it because he has bad body odour? We put it to the test by dropping a touch of Eau de Saddam (a decalitre actually) behind each ear, to find out if Saddam is nice to be near...and we found that all of us wanted to be nearly one full continent away....that's if you count Antartica...which we didn't because there was still a faint whiff........

BUT!!! Don't fret because America is sending Sadd..a man to Mars.

Yes soon we will be able to see if Lice can survive up there. No end of room to dig holes and if all goes well his mate Osama can look for caves.

Who knows maybe Saddam's holes will create a cave because of all the sand he removes.....

On Friday's they can get together and swap recipes and immortal lines like :

"Tucker Osama when you stand at the front of your cave you can see Earth."

Fade to Al Jazeera :

"This just in from Mars ..."

"Kill, maim, destroy, shoot, pillage, plunder, strangle the imperialist bastards..."

"So no change there other markets the Dax rose 100 while the Dow Jones....."

Posted by: Traps at March 2, 2004 at 04:50 PM

OMG, Nemesis is changing the subject a tad? He never does that!

Posted by: Sortelli at March 2, 2004 at 04:53 PM

Smells like departed spirit.

Posted by: Habib at March 2, 2004 at 04:54 PM

LOL! That was golden.

Posted by: Sortelli at March 2, 2004 at 05:00 PM

While we're changing subjects: does anyone else find it strange that the anti-smoking lobby isn't raising hell over the fact that a guy named Peter Jackson cleaned up at the oscars ?
This seems to me to be blatant flouting of tobacco advertising laws......

Posted by: Johnny Wishbone at March 2, 2004 at 05:17 PM

This is against Islam.

Posted by: Helen at March 2, 2004 at 06:12 PM

Fuck Islam, this is against humanity!

Posted by: Razor at March 2, 2004 at 06:22 PM

Osama Bin Rotten

Posted by: perfectsense at March 2, 2004 at 07:14 PM

Hey, I paid good money for my Bottled Cat Urine monopoly. Please don't dilute it with common kitty piss.

Granted, I don't remember inquiring about Bottled Cat Urine, but when I recieved an email, Re: Your Cat Urine Inquiry I realized I must have. Machines do not lie.

So I opened the email, sent it to the printer, then clicked on the attached file, kittylitter.exe, just like the instructions told me to.

Good thing I sent that to the printer, because now when I turn on my computer all I get is some cheap anim of some ragged cat spewing on a mat. Don't know where that came from. I called the MicroSoft HelpDesk and they all said it's a Feature, not a Bug.

Posted by: Timothy Lang at March 2, 2004 at 08:42 PM

Bloody freakin Afghanis - they had a golden opportinity and thay fisked it. Hell only a few bits of skin. Bugger!

Hmmm - anyone care to put in for a ticket to get the mad Margot to Afghanistan? Maybe they'll do a better job second time around.

Posted by: lawrie at March 2, 2004 at 09:47 PM

This is a fake. The graphic has obvious artifacts around the text.

Why fake this? Strange.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at March 3, 2004 at 12:31 AM

This is a work of photoshoppery????

Bert did it. Bert is evil.

Posted by: Sortelli at March 3, 2004 at 04:42 AM

Found this on the Fisk-beating at

Mr Fisk seems to forget that in his encounter with the mob, he followed the advice he had received from his Lebanese tutors on "how to stay alive: take a decision - any decision - but don't do nothing." ...

Mr Fisk, for all his "self-disgust", did not join the mob in beating himself up. He defended himself with force and violence. Then the authorities came to his aid. And his companion was defended by a soldier brandishing a gun.

So if we are to "stay alive" as democracies which permit the expression of dissent, should we do as you say and join the mob in beating ourselves up - or as you do, and defend ourselves?

Posted by: Tim Sweete at March 3, 2004 at 06:19 AM

Hey, it's not Eau de Osama, it's Eau d'Osama, or Eau d'O---veux-tu d'Eau d'O?

Posted by: Marc Lowenstein at March 3, 2004 at 08:38 AM

Australians call it After Shave, not really appropriate in bin Laden's case, although for all we know he's had more than his beard shaved by now. No Australian male - except for some in Sydney - would be seen dead putting on 'Eau' - perfume with a pretentious frog name - while Cologne is a city in Germany or somewhere. May as well call it Hamburg ... no, wait ...

Posted by: ilibcc at March 3, 2004 at 10:50 AM

It should be Eau Sama, of course.

Posted by: Jim C. at March 3, 2004 at 11:23 AM

Timothy Lang it's great to finally see someone rasing the tone here. Can we meet offline?

Posted by: Miranda Divide at March 3, 2004 at 12:45 PM

Can we meet offline?

Are you finally leaving us Miranda? For another man! No! Say it isn't so! think of the children...

Posted by: Quentin Divide at March 3, 2004 at 07:54 PM