February 17, 2004

FOR ALL YOUR COMBAT NEEDS

The 1000 Fighting Styles of Donald Rumsfeld.

Posted by Tim Blair at February 17, 2004 01:45 PM
Comments

I have tremendous fondness for that man.

Posted by: Sandy P. at February 17, 2004 at 02:19 PM

The 1000 Fighting Styles of Donald Rumsfeld are so great! Make it, really, 1000; c'mon, there're only, like, 21 up on the site, now!
Leading query: What in the world is a possible caption for the Drunken Temple Boxing shot? I can't imagine the conversation which would prompt someone, in response, to put their two hands into those positions. Help, here, people: caption time.

Posted by: m at February 17, 2004 at 02:21 PM

Truly funny.

LMAO.

Posted by: Dwayne at February 17, 2004 at 03:45 PM

m,

Maybe he was saying something to the effect of "There is no way we are going in there in that manner..." where he emphasizes 'that' with the karate chop.

Posted by: addison at February 17, 2004 at 03:51 PM

Shows how little you all know......Rummy is obviously an angry man in need of anger management.....

Goose Frappa...Goose Frappa.....all together now the chorus from "I feel pretty"......."I feel pretty...."

Unlike John Kerry who is a picture of composure...you never see John get upset about issues...unless someone has explained them to him ...then he might....

Today Polier and John are denying that they ever had sex.......apparently she loves Kenya..who wouldn't ......there's a lovely drive out of Nairobi.....any drive OUT of Nairobi is lovely...the night life is sensational....flashing lights ; green, amber, red, amber and back to green.....who could miss out on that......

Maybe they really didn't have sex......before, Polier said Kerry was the shittest lay she'd ever had...he was furious...."How the fuck could she tell all that in 6 seconds....."

Mind you when Kerry visited that 62 year old hooker, with a hole the size of the Grand Canyon, she asked him if he had taken any precauction....

"Yes, Ive tied my foot to the corner of the fucking bed......."

Altogether John ....."I feel pretty, oh so pretty..."

Posted by: Traps at February 17, 2004 at 04:07 PM

that rummy is one cool dude. i heard on the radio that he was judged as one of the 100? most macho men in the world by some magazine. hilary clinton made the cut too.

Posted by: roscoe at February 17, 2004 at 04:27 PM

Whoever she squeezed out to get onto the list would be mightily pissed and may have psychological issues going forward.

Posted by: ilibcc at February 17, 2004 at 04:46 PM

Rumsfeld owns.

Posted by: mateo_g at February 17, 2004 at 05:11 PM

Next up: 1000 French nuances of John Kerry.

1. I voted for the war
2. I did not support the war.
3. I served in Vietnam.
4. I deserted my command in Vietnam.
5. I am a Vietnam Hero.
6. I supported the enemy in Vietnam.
7. My wife and I are worth $600 million.
8. I am a common man.
9. I am not influenced by special interests.
10. I take more special interest money than anyone.
etc, etc, etc.

Posted by: perfectsense at February 17, 2004 at 06:27 PM

You don't really begin to notice it until you look at more pictures of him.

Posted by: dorkafork at February 17, 2004 at 06:38 PM

Does anyone know what Traps is going on about?

Posted by: Quentin George at February 17, 2004 at 06:48 PM

goose frappa goose frappa!

Posted by: roscoe at February 17, 2004 at 07:18 PM

Yeah -- everyone knows about goose frappa!

Posted by: Andrea Harris at February 17, 2004 at 08:00 PM

oh, silly me, goose frappa...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 17, 2004 at 10:46 PM

Tremendous. A big improvement from John "Missile Finger" Kerry. He's got one move when he speaks. He launches the index finger over and over and over.

Posted by: JohnO at February 17, 2004 at 11:08 PM

His combat techniques are even more effective after he causes you to lose focus with another famous move of his "pregnant tiger pause"

Posted by: matt at February 18, 2004 at 01:06 AM

I do like Donald Rumsfeld. One of the few public figures who's not afraid to be himself and say what he really thinks.

Posted by: Alice at February 18, 2004 at 02:39 AM

the starbucks around the corner has goose frappas on the menu, i think...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at February 18, 2004 at 03:22 AM

I'm looking at these pictures while imagining the full flow of his legendary 'I know you know I'm not going to answer that question. So I won't and you're a fool for asking' press conference jujitsu. Never has one man implied so many are so stupid without being strung up from the nearest tree.

Posted by: Craig Ranapia (Other Pundit) at February 18, 2004 at 06:08 AM

Where's Tyrant Smackdown Fist and Old Europe Pimpslap? They are key weapons in the Rumsfeld ORBAT.

Posted by: fidens at February 18, 2004 at 07:53 AM

What was that flick with Sean Connery as a US Army LtC? The one where he tells the big fat biker "Now, I'm gonna kick your ass. But to make it fair, I'm only gonna use one finger..."

Posted by: mojo at February 18, 2004 at 07:53 AM

The movie was The Presidio and also starred Mark Harmon. Sean Connery is the other 70 something gentleman I find very sexy. He ranks a bit higher than Donald Rumsfeld, but Donny is closing in with each appearance before the press and/or Congress.

Posted by: Polly at February 18, 2004 at 08:33 AM

i think the movie was actually "The Rock" and he beat the guy up with his left thumb. he was an SAS commando who had escaped Alcatraz, and they wanted him to break back in and take out the Marine Recon Unit who threatened the use nerve gas on San Francisco. completely stupid movie, except for that bit.

Posted by: Sean at February 18, 2004 at 08:40 AM

Polly is right, "The Presidio". Mark Harmon as the SFPD roller, Meg Ryan (pre-puffy lips) as Sean's daughter. (??)

Yeah, right...

Posted by: mojo at February 18, 2004 at 09:31 AM

Polly was right -- it was "The Presidio", another movie not especially memorable (except for certain scenes, most especially including the thumb-fighting scene!).

In re Rumsfeld, I still think that Lileks pegged him perfectly:

>
> Today at the Pentagon press briefing, a reporter
> asked about Humanitarian Crisis, and Rumsfeld
> described at great length the humanitarian
> crisis that existed before the Allies got there,
> and how things were actually improving. It was
> classic Rummy; he not only refused to accept the
> premise of the question, he refuted it like a
> blacksmith working out marital frustrations on a
> red-hot horseshoe. You can just imagine what
> some of the reporters say to one another as they
> leave the briefing:
>
> I say, whatís that in your hands, there? That
> pink thing?
>
> Oh, this? Itís my ass. Rumsfeld handed it to me.
>
> And I see you have a nice clock there - brand
> new?
>
> No, itís quite old, but Rumsfeld cleaned it.
> Free of charge.


For the original, follow the link:

http://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/03/0403/041003.html


respectfully,
Daniel in Medford

Posted by: Daniel in Medford at February 18, 2004 at 09:38 AM

70+ and still rocking.
The man is a genius. Simple as that.

Posted by: Naz at February 18, 2004 at 10:00 AM

Not in the realm of reality but a Rummy Vs Saddam cage match would be the number one sporting event of the month. Perhaps Celebrity Death Match need to pull their fingers out and get that one made.

Posted by: Jake D at February 18, 2004 at 12:47 PM

IMHO, Rummy vs. Saddam fight would never happen, sadly. Saddam would be placed in the cage by his handlers, promptly blow a blood vessel in terror and drop dead. Because that's the sort of guy he is and because Rumsfeld is a TOTAL and UTTER BADASS. And everyone knows it, even dense EU diplomats, sense that he is not Like Them. He Is The Enemy, Because He Has Cojones. They do not understand, but they fear. Nytimes.com archives, about 2 wks. ago- Rumsfeld drops all pretenses and just lays down the business.
Rumsfeld for President in 2008

Posted by: RumsfeldforPresident2008 at February 18, 2004 at 03:07 PM

Is rummysfelt really 70 ears old? He is one bad MoF0.

Posted by: Drago at February 18, 2004 at 06:57 PM

May I speak as cogently, as congruently and as concisely as Don Rumsfeld when I'm 70... and every month of every year from now to then...

My hero!

Posted by: Sharps Shooter at February 19, 2004 at 12:08 AM

Is rummysfelt really 70 ears old? He is one bad Mo

Shut your mouth!

"Only talkin' about Rummy."

We can dig it!

Posted by: Patrick Chester at February 19, 2004 at 04:24 AM