January 16, 2004


• Ann Coulter -- Michael Moore has a crush on her, don’t you know -- is in sensational form.

• Meet the Reverse Tim Blair -- he hates George W. Bush and is useful around the house!

• Whatever you think about this PETA animation, it’s a safe bet that no animals were harmed during the making of it. Which means you can harm more animals than usual, to make up for the animal-harmage shortfall.

• Dennis Perrin’s attack on James Lileks was strange and sad, but the just-discovered original draft is a work of genius. Extract: "Lileks wasn't as bad as some of the keyboard warriors I'd read, but there was that gloat and strut, that preening and fawning, the unseemly dancing in the kitchen with his wife, as if Lileks had personally captured Saddam. The whole scene sickened me so that I had to put down my night vision goggles."

• Australian blogger Mike Jericho has friends in high places.

• Snowheads on pikes! Possibly the finest Calvin ever.

• Harvard guys need some work on those pickup lines, writes Anne Cunningham: "I have noticed, whenever I meet someone from Harvard, that they do not introduce themselves in a normal manner, but try to come up with an original greeting. I met one guy who opened with, 'So, Anne, how do you get on with your parents?' and another whose first question was, 'Describe a typical day for me - what's your routine?' Both lines, come to think of it, sound like something a therapist would ask."

Posted by Tim Blair at January 16, 2004 10:37 PM

Meet the Reverse Tim Blair -- he hates George W. Bush and is useful around the house!

I am not very handy around the house.

Its a marvelous country filled with terrific people who do not deserve this.

As opposed to, say, his own country?

Posted by: Andjam at January 16, 2004 at 11:36 PM

My post about Turkey was not designed to draw any comparisons to my home nation, the US. Clearly no nation deserves terrorism. Hopefully my post does not imply this.

Posted by: Tim at January 16, 2004 at 11:43 PM

Listen, I like to make fun of politics as much as the next guy, but how about some news on what's really important?

Like ...news on the Ferrari F1 team's interest in Frank William's nose.

Or news about how a former world champion downhill skier is beating world champion rally drivers at their own game.

Posted by: Chris Howell at January 16, 2004 at 11:43 PM


Thanks for clearing that up.

Posted by: Andjam at January 16, 2004 at 11:50 PM


That Williams reminds me of something -- a March, possibly a Formula Two car? -- from the early 80s. Investigation must commence.

Posted by: tim at January 16, 2004 at 11:51 PM

Were the Lileks dancing in a dark kitchen? That would be the only reason to use night-vision goggles.

Posted by: Donnah at January 17, 2004 at 12:37 AM

Funny, the people I've met that went to Harvard always introduce themselves as "Hi, I'm Ray Jing-Asshole, I went to Harvard".

Not all of them have that name, I was just using him as an example.

Posted by: Steve in Houston at January 17, 2004 at 12:37 AM

THis doppleganger ("The Other White Blair") seems to suffer from a similar affliction to that of many on the Left -- undeserved, unwarranted, and unsubstantiated condescension. While he seems to be an ok fellow, some of the posts were oozing through my screen, so dripping with sneering arrogance. My favorite was the post about the difference between believed and proved -- written so as to convey that he "understands" the "nuances" between the two words, whereas "Shrub" does not. Interestingly, it would seem that the concept of proof, in the post-9/11 world, is a much more complex issue than suggested by this post. How much "proof," how accurate, balanced against the cost of not acting, etc. These sorts of "nuanced" questions are often left out of Lefty posts, and I'm not sure why. It certainly couldn't be that they are, er, "inflexible" in their thinking and criticism> Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Also, the idea that someone from either party would find fault with the use of a previous administration's data/assumptions/suggestions seems contradictory to the idea of someone being dogmatic in their approach. But again, it's more important to score points than anything else. Of course, the idea of WMD, while troubling from an itelligence perspective, is a non-starter in terms of justifying (or delegitimizing) the war (again, it was non-compliance with inspections). But I suppose if you repeat anything often enough...

Posted by: Jerry at January 17, 2004 at 01:02 AM

BTW, has anyone else seen Krugman's latest screed in the NYT? I wonder if this is what Jack meant by "Centrist?" Basically, according to Krugman, Clark "gets" it because he is parroting Dean, which is justified because of, apparently, many delusions floating in Krugman's head...

Posted by: Jerry at January 17, 2004 at 01:05 AM

Those can't be real Harvard pickup lines. They fail to off-handedly mention "Cambridge" within the first five words.

Posted by: Rob at January 17, 2004 at 02:52 AM

Ah! Grapefruit! We had grapefruit just like this at Cambridge!

Posted by: Bruce at January 17, 2004 at 05:03 AM

Ha! One of my favorite calvins, as well. I find all the snow-critters strips so funny, I once spent an afternoon painstakingly going through the archives, finding and saving every one. Don't know what happened to 'em - was several computers ago. What a great afternoon, though. Remember the one where the dad comes out to go to work, only to find two snowfolks behind his car, one in screaming in shock and the other constructed to look like dad's car had flattened it?

Posted by: Matt at January 17, 2004 at 08:23 AM

Followed the vegemite link on timothyblair.blogspot.com. The yanks just don't get vegemite, do they?
Mind you, there's a lot of yankee food I don't get. Can anyone explain to me:
What are grits?
What is pominy?
Corn Pone? What the hell is that?
And jerkey. Can anyone tell me what jerkey is?

Posted by: TimT at January 17, 2004 at 09:05 AM

Grits: hot breakfast food made of ground corn, much like oatmeal or creamed wheat.

Hominy (not pominy): Corn that's been hulled, dried, and boiled.

Corn pone: cornmeal baked or fried into "bread". It's only called that in the south; in the north it's called johnnycake.

Jerky: meat that's been dried and cured to make it nonperishable and suitable for travel and snacks. Usually beef, turkey and various "exotic" meats are also coming into vogue. (Jerky is also great to make out of various game animals- we have a friend that gives us some elk jerky most years. Mmmmm.) Traditionally smoked, sometimes flavored with teriyaki, pepper, or chile.

This yank knows what vegemite is but never tried it; Marmite's all right, though.

Posted by: LabRat at January 17, 2004 at 10:10 AM

Might add that grits in the American South are made of white corn; the Italians make precisely the same stuff from yellow corn and call it polenta, which name allows the more aspiring sort of American restaurant to sell grits at a price previously undreamed of.

Now that I'm low carbing, of course, these things are behind me.

Which sucks.

Posted by: Bruce at January 17, 2004 at 11:02 AM

Nothing better than grits covered in melted cheese or simply grits and covered in melted butter. I'm low carbing, too, so except for an occassional splurge, grits are a thing of the past. Fortunately I can still eat elk meat. My goodness it's fabulous. Best game eating around. When I worked for the US Forest Service we would rustle up some elk meat, pick wild mushrooms, and cook us up a good lunch. Those were the days.

Posted by: Polly at January 17, 2004 at 11:34 AM

Grits is an any-meal food. My favorite supper is fried fish and grits.

Posted by: Donnah at January 17, 2004 at 12:21 PM

Whatever happened to Tim B. Liar?

Posted by: Habib at January 17, 2004 at 12:29 PM

There are two types of Harvard graduates:

Type 1: "Hi, I'm Ray Jing-Asshole, I went to Harvard. Did I mention I went to Harvard? Wow, I used to buy nuts like this in Harvard Square all the time."

Type 2: "Hi, I'm Ray Jing."
forty-five minutes later
"Where did I go to college? Oh, in the Northeast. Speaking of the Northeast, how 'bout them Yankees! Can you believe..."

Just wanted to clarify that...

Posted by: Marion at January 17, 2004 at 05:20 PM

If only Moore shared his lunches with Ann Coulter, they'd both be a lot happier, and healthier.

Posted by: LD at January 17, 2004 at 08:02 PM

To borrow from that great man of letters, Charles Barkley, Ann Coulter "looks like she was giving blood and forgot to say 'when.'"

Posted by: Jerry at January 17, 2004 at 11:13 PM

I misheard the word 'hominy' from a Tom Lehrer song. Thanks for that info guys! I was introduced to 'cornbread' by a guy called Lafe who was living in Raymond Terrace for a while. It was delicious.

Posted by: TimT at January 17, 2004 at 11:17 PM

Jeez, I just took a casual glance at the first couple of lines of the topic and thought Michael Moore had fallen on Ann Coulter and killed her...

Posted by: John at January 18, 2004 at 02:00 AM

Cornbread is a superior evolution of cornpone.

Although it says something that it's such a constant feature around here that it never occured to me that people in other English-speaking countries didn't eat it and wouldn't know what it was...

Posted by: LabRat at January 18, 2004 at 03:56 AM

Grits, hominy, cornpone, johnnycakes, cornbread . . . All part of the great American tradition of homesteading. East of the Mississippi, mostly, you walked or rode to where no one else was close, and found an oak stand. You felled the oaks to build a cabin, etc. burned out the stumps and planted corn (it was darn nigh impossible to clear prairie land). Meanwhile, your pregnant sow (you did bring at least one, didn't you?) ate the available acorns from the oaks (you can eat them too, but you gotta treat them first) until the corn is ripe. Now, grind cornmeal, make cornpone (or corn-dodgers in some parts of the country), slaughter one male pig, smoke the bacon, jowls, and hams using leftover oak scraps, use some of the corn to make whiskey, feed the used mash to the pigs plus any excess corn, use bacon grease (later) from the smoked bacon to add flavor to your cornpone. Eventually, drive the pigs to market. Work great (it's how my family started near the Mississippi in Illinois).

P.S. Hominy is also put in a lye bath (I think to hull the corn).

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at January 18, 2004 at 04:41 AM

Did anyone else feel like having a bacon sandwich after watching The Meatrix?

Posted by: Peter Bismire at January 18, 2004 at 09:44 AM

Yep. Then again, vegan propaganda always makes me itch for a nice rare steak with a side of something fried in pork fat, possibly with chicken gravy.

Which is why I just came back from the butcher loaded down with twenty pounds of meat. (Okay, I did it because I felt like it. But next time I'm accosted by salad-snorters, I'll be prepared.)

Posted by: LabRat at January 18, 2004 at 11:21 AM

How does PETA reconcile a buddhist like Richard Gere's treatment of gerbils?

Posted by: Habib at January 18, 2004 at 12:18 PM

Anti-GM propaganda always makes me want to sink my teeth into a good GM meal. Which reminds me...
A few months back, I published a recipe for 'G.M. cornbread' in a local Newcastle publication on which I'm a volunteer. (The same as real cornbread, just based on the assumption that some of the ingredients - cornmeal, flour - might have G.M. in them). I plagiarised the recipe from a Margaret Fulton cookbook - it seemed the right thing to do, since Margaret has since become an anti-GM campaigner.

Posted by: TimT at January 18, 2004 at 02:58 PM

Right about the lye, Jorg. Grind the result and you have grits.

Re the PETA anim...
it’s a safe bet that no animals were harmed during the making of it.
Actually all the beasts (both in talking, cameo, and "extra" rolls were eventually slaughtered or otherwise inconvenienced. As it was for "the good of the cause," that's okay.

Moofeus is currently on a slab in Eugene, Oregon, undergoing tests to prove or disprove that he was a "mad cow."

Leo the pig's fate was more tragic. Leo auditioned but was rejected for Babe VIII: Pig in a Fast Car. He then spent two months trying to interest producers in a re-make of Green Acres, this time with Arnold at top billing. Nothing came of this. Leo retired to the family farm, where he auditioned for the local summer stock in Charlotte's Web. He was turned down in favor of a younger pig with a less grating voice. On December 4, Leo took both the blue and the red pills. As a final indignity, the FDA ruled his meat unfit for human consumption.

The multitude of greenish pigs were shipped to Egypt, disguised as sheep. As they seemed "off-color" the shipment was not accepted. Subsequently these pigs commandeered the ship, executed the crew, and have resorted to piracy.

Posted by: Timothy Lang at January 18, 2004 at 03:38 PM