Tim Blair

Ha! The distinguished man of letters and intimate of Royalty dismissed as 'an Australian journalist named Clive James'. That's gotta hurt.

Well, it's not like she stole it from anybody important -- or so she thought. Is that what she meant?

I always hate to admit it when I just do not get a joke but I haven't understood the basic humor of this humorless joke that Ms. Ivins stole from her friend. I mean, sure, there is something funny anytime you make a comment involving a condom...if you're a 12 year old boy, but otherwise what is the joke?

Would it be funny to say he looks like a walnut filled balloon? Or a baggie crammed with walnuts? Frankly I think a surgical glove stuffed with walnuts would be a funnier image and joke (at least you have something to represent arms and legs) but unfortunately that still isn't funny.

So I'm stuck with the guess that walnuts are lumpy like muscles and condoms are...condoms...oh, I get it! Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!

Isn't there some kind of rule that you only steal something that is worth the effort? If not there ought to be.

If you don't think Clive James is funny then you've clearly never read any of his autobiography. 'Unreliable Memoirs' is one of the most hilarious (and poignant) books I've ever read.

bbridges: I haven't understood the basic humor...

Butt-Head: Huhuhuhu. She said CONDOM.

You're right, it's that kind of "humor."

That's about as pathetic as it gets. That woman should be taken to the journalism woodshed and left there.

What is it about some people in public life? Are they congenitally incapable of making a straightforward admission they f**ked up? The rest of us have to live with our mistakes. Those who enjoy syndication get to bury their errors with venom and artful dodging.

It is decidedly amusing to note that, if one judges Ivins' by her writings, one cannot help but conclude that her inner mind is as profoundly unattractive as her outer self.

Anybody seen Molly lately? What someone else, almost anyone else, "looks like" is a stone she should not throw. A lot of men would probably not mind looking like Arnold. A lot of women would throw themselves in front of a train if they woke up looking like Molly.

In his iron-pumping and steroid-stuffing days, Arnie looked like something elastic (your choice) stuffed with very large walnuts. For the last 20 years, he's looked pretty damned good.

Molly Ivins once was a good reporter and a very good writer. For the last 20 years, she's been a hack. She just stopped doing any work other than recycling her old schtick and, apparently, the jokes of others.

Howard Dean looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger without the walnuts.

Howard Dean looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger without the walnuts.

Now that was pretty funny. Plus since it doesn't include the word condom you can say it anywhere in public.

Robobubba- if I steal this, but want to acknowledge the source how would you like to be described? Please copy the form, fill in the blanks, and email.
--------------------------------------------
Joke Certificate of Origination

I hereby affirm that I am the original source of this joke/humorous image.

Howard Dean looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger without the walnuts.

Signed _____, a _____ from _____
---------------------------------------

One hopes that Ivin's conscience is less burdened than that fat wrinkly finger she uses to hide her double chin in in the photo that accompanies her column.

And I think someone should track down this alleged Vermont civil libertarian.

to an Australian journalist named Clive James.

Beats me why we call Clive James even an ex-pat, let alone an Australian.

He's made England his home for longer than most of us have been alive.

In future, remember to refer to Joe Bjelke-Petersen, Russell Crowe, Derryn Hinch, Nancy Wake, (to name but a few) as New Zealanders.

Possibly Clive James and Florence King could start a "People Who Have Been Plagiarized by Molly Ivins" Club. It might turn out to be a rather large group.

Where can I get one of those plastic turkeys? I'm sick of cooking.

"Vermont civil libertarian" is really an odd, pretentious description of someone when you think about it. It's like saying "Nebraska Cartesian dualist." How about either "Vermont reporter" or "guy I met in Vermont"?

What's really funny about the moral indignation coming from Vermont and New Hampshire is that that part of the US is the LEAST diverse place in all the meaningful ways.
The are the most monolithic population when it come to race, religion, wealth, politics, the whole shebang... they also have the least in the way of social problems and social tension.

But they they bust the guage when it comes to wagging fingers and dispensing invective.

Amaizing - life is so good that they're bored and suffering from social hypocondria.

Molly's two biggest accomplishments listed are having the MSP police pig named after her, and being banned from the Texas A&M campus.

Molly's legs look like condoms stuffed with hamburger. With a jackhammer.

"Molly's legs look like condoms stuffed with hamburger. With a jackhammer."

Now that's funny.

coincidentally, yesterday I read Molly's most recent column and I thought:

'Is there anyone writing for a large audience today who is dumber than Molly Ivins?'

can anyone think of someone ?

"Balls"? Somehow, I believe that...

Seems to me that Molly is taking a big chance bringing up the subject of looks in any context.

I believe it was Dashiel Hammet who wrote, "she had all the grace and charm of an unmade bed."

"can anyone think of someone"
Ted Rall? Although 'large audience' is debatable.

I think Molly Ivins looks like a plastic turkey stuffed with walnuts. Has someone already said this?

Howard Dean resembles Elmer Fudd on crank.

As a proud graduate of Texas A&M, I'd happy to say that we did ban her from our campus. That puts us one up on every other university in the world.

I think Molly Ivins is really Garrison Keillor in drag. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together? Not only do they look alike, they talk in the same affected manner, only when in drag, it is with an added phoney Texas Twang.

she said she was sorry.
leave her alone

You must be one of those "don't ask, don't tell" soldiers, gijoe.

'Is there anyone writing for a large audience today who is dumber than Molly Ivins?'

MoDo. Like, totally.

As a proud graduate of the University of Texas, I'm happy to say that I, too, have been banned from the campus of Texas A&M University. But for different reasons from Molls.

I think it was Sylvester Stallone rather than Arnold in the original Clive James quote.

Molly Ivins has never gotten over the reelection defeat of Ann Richards by GWB for Governor of Texas. Ivins was her Campaign Manager, I believe. Her columns were never filled with the venom, spite, and just plain nastiness until that disastrous event in her life!!! I ceased reading her long ago.

Several years ago I was given a book of Ms. Invin's, which I enjoyed reading. She's quite a clever writer. Unfortunately she never seems to have anything useful or significant to say, relying almost entirely on cuteness to entertain her readers.

I would just like to know how one gets banned from one's alma mater? I went to Berkeley...can't imagine anything I could do that would get me banned from there (except maybe vote Republican?).

CaliGirl, all you have to do is post a flier in a public place for a speech by a guy who offends a ruling elite at Cal-Poly. They'll run you out on a rail soon enough.

Holy Cow, Steve in Houston...I guess so! That's pretty hard to believe when you consider all the inflammatory garbage that is posted publicly at most universities.

Sorry, but can't resist this...

--------------------------------------------
Joke Certificate of Origination

Signed _Once was_, a _Man_ from _Nantucket____

My problem is in finding Thoroughly Mildewed Molly funny anymore. She has been writing the same column and swiping the same lines since 1994.