January 05, 2004
CELLABRATE
Hooray! It’s Guantanamo Bay Lock-Up Day!
Guantanamo Bay Lock-Up Day is a special event designed to allow anyone in the world to protest against the illegal detention of hundreds of people in Guantanamo Bay in an independent, yet collective fashion.
The suggested means of protest is, uh, a little on the lame side: “Choose a door, a gate, a vehicle or anything else in your neighbourhood that's vulnerable and lock it up nice and tight.”
That’ll show those neo-con and right-wing cabals! I prefer Penny’s suggestion, posted at the Lock-Up Day website. She proposes Guantanamo Sealed Shut Hallmark Envelope Day:
You enter a Hallmark store and lick as many envelopes shut as you can. Then, the future purchasers (provided they weren't women ever beaten by taliban goons), realizing it symbolizes the locked cells at gitmo, can prostrate themselves on the floor demanding immediate release of the keyless at gitmo.
My own observance of Blessed Gitmo Locky Day will involve prising open the court-ordered locks on the booze cabinet to celebrate the marriage of Britney Spears. Happy wedlock, Britney!
UPDATE. Bruce in comments writes: "I'VE PUSHED THE CAPS LOCK KEY DOWN. ARE THEY FREE YET?"
UPDATE II. Mark Steyn toasts Locky Day.
Posted by Tim Blair at January 5, 2004 12:08 AMTHis is the kind of meaningless wankfest you expect from this crowd....kinda like the naked protests,or the "women in black" bullshit, or vomiting on the sidewalks.....there are some snarky comments, tho. I like "someguy" suggestions, about protesting by being 15 min late to work...guess he forgot most of this crowd dont have jobs...
Posted by: debbie at January 5, 2004 at 12:30 AMThere are a couple of hot college girls in the apartment a few doors down so I may suggest to them that they combine Guantanamo Lock-Day with naked protesting by getting naked and locking themselves out of their apartment. That would create the kind of synergy that can't help but lead to world peace.
Posted by: Randal Robinson at January 5, 2004 at 12:48 AMI'VE PUSHED THE CAPS LOCK KEY DOWN. ARE THEY FREE YET?
Posted by: Bruce at January 5, 2004 at 03:49 AMGuantanamo Stinky-dump Day
Wherein you take a big, stinking dump at work, then prop the restroom door open to share your fetid, malodorous sh!t with your co-workers in support of the protest against unjust detainment!
Be sure to send all your co-workers an email, too, to prove you really are the A-hole they thought you were.
Posted by: rinardman at January 5, 2004 at 04:02 AMSorry, Rinardman, it won't work. Their shit don't stink.
Posted by: Reid at January 5, 2004 at 04:17 AMYikes. Even I, your new Irrepressibly Open Minded and Completely Misunderstood Token Liberal Leftie finds this action rather asinine.
Posted by: Last One Speaks at January 5, 2004 at 06:06 AMGuantanamo Lockbox Day:
Everyone sends me a $100 bill. I put all the bills in a locked box and keep them there indefinitely. Periodically, I'll remove a few bills and "execute" them at my local mall.
Posted by: Brendan at January 5, 2004 at 07:05 AMSorry, Tim. Looks like Britney has already divorced.
Posted by: Wesley at January 5, 2004 at 08:07 AMI been icking endewopes thince I wed dis post... can I thtop now?
Posted by: Fidens at January 5, 2004 at 08:11 AMYou mean all the nuts in the world are supposed to lock themselves inside something to protest Gitmo's treatment of terrorists?
Now that I think about it, I'm hoping it'll catch on. Maybe some of them will forget the keys...
Posted by: david at January 5, 2004 at 09:15 AM