December 15, 2003
THE DANGEROUS SALESMAN
Margo Kingston’s latest Webdiary freak act, Sydney artist Robert Bosler, writes a speech for Mark Latham:
This year has seen us named as a terrorist target. I'm here to tell it to you straight, ladies and gentlemen. That’s what we've become ... Were we ever really meant to be a terrorist target? Is that what Australia is supposed to be?
Tell us, Robert ... did you support the liberation of East Timor? Or would you have abandoned the East Timorese for fear of becoming a “terrorist target”? Oh, and I love this:
2003 came to us dressed as a salesman, ladies and gentlemen. Not the harmless salesman selling us the harbour bridge, it was a deceptive salesman, a dangerous salesman because it wasn't selling us the harbour bridge, it was selling the desert of Iraq. The salesman came all dressed the part but it came selling the desert of Iraq.
UPDATE. Mike in comments writes that “if Mark Latham had made that speech it would have to go down as one of the worst speeches given by an Australian politician.” Yes, it would -- and we can combine it with Margo’s brilliant campaign idea:
I reckon Abbott's invented the slogan for Labor at the next election, if Labor is brave enough to grasp the opportunity: "Honest Politics."
Run that slogan past any campaign adviser on earth and watch them recoil. Margo doesn’t know that the word “politics” is electoral poison ... as the Australian Democrats discovered a couple of years ago.
Posted by Tim Blair at December 15, 2003 10:19 AM
[HomerVoice]Mmmmmmmm..... sand-wedge[/Homervoice]
I'd like to give a shout out to Petrina Goksan, the author of "Wake Up and Smell the Wattle" at the webdiary page - it has to be written by PUCE right?
The sky is falling! We're all turning into Americans!
Posted by: James Dudek at December 15, 2003 at 10:37 AMYe gods. Somebody has cross-bred Hugh Mackay and Carmen Lawrence
Posted by: Tex at December 15, 2003 at 10:46 AMBosler's speech continues: "And George W. Bush sold us! He didn't sell us to the mob! But he sold us! There was a river! And he sold us down it! When he sold us, there was a river he sold us down! George W. Bush sold us, and there was a river, and it was down it that we were sold by him! Down the river, there was a sale, and it was done by George W. Bush, who did some selling and there was a river involved and also some downward motion! Ladies and Gentlemen, George W. Bush sold us down the river!"
Posted by: Combustible Boy at December 15, 2003 at 10:57 AMHis writing would be much more effective if he didn't repeat himself so often. I mean he repeats himself so often, over and over again. I dont think I am alone in seeing that he repeats himself so often over and over again. I dont know if it is considered artistic to repeat yourself often and over and over again. I dont know now if I am repeating myself over and over again so oftenly but maybe I am. But often I ...... arrggghhh enough!
Posted by: Rob at December 15, 2003 at 11:23 AM"2004 will come dressed as a 1920s Flapper and will probably dance the Charleton until at least July at which point it will get changed into a tracksuit and watch the telly with its feet up waiting for 2005 to drop the kids home from school"
Posted by: Jake D at December 15, 2003 at 12:20 PMDoes anyone have the Osmonds' "Down by the Lazy River" going through their heads right now? Anybody? Hello? Um.... Never mind.
Posted by: Andrea Harris at December 15, 2003 at 12:35 PMSure, they seem harmless at the time but what am I going to do with all those harbour bridges piled up in the back-yard. At least if I had bought the desert of Iraq the kids could use it as a sand pit.
Posted by: Dave at December 15, 2003 at 12:53 PMJust heard newsreader Erin Marr on Macquarie National News bulletin on Radio 2GB Sydney at 14.00 - Opposition Leader Mark Latham says it's important to remember weapons of mass distraction, um, destruction are yet to be found in Iraq despite the capture of Saddam but he says this could bring the country's internal conflict to an end. Well a Freudian slip like this I would understand, no, expect on the A.B.C. or S.B.S. but on 'right-wing, populist' talkback radio? For a second there I thought Mark Latham had listened to Margo and invited Robert Bosler onto his speech writing team.
Posted by: Softly at December 15, 2003 at 02:10 PMSorry, there, Robert. My attention wandered for a moment. What did he sell us again?
Posted by: timks at December 15, 2003 at 02:16 PMIf Mark Latham had made that speech it would have to go down as one of the worst speeches given by an Australian politician.
Posted by: Mike Hunt at December 15, 2003 at 02:23 PMMojo Jojo is his speechwriter, and the name of his speechwriter is Mojo Jojo!
Posted by: Mitch Clearly at December 15, 2003 at 02:35 PMAfter RoBo gave us his “Blueprint for a Latham Win” it was only fair that he followed it up with “Electoral Defeat in 3 Easy Steps”:
1) read this speech…
2) out loud…
3) on the tele.