Tim Blair: SMOKED

October 28, 2003

SMOKED

New York's anti-smoking laws bite in so many ways. Last night three of us -- all journalists, and all from Melbourne's western suburbs -- were denied swift service at a bar because the bartender was forced outside for a cigarette.

Violence, terrible violence, loomed. Don't these people realise they're dealing with westies?

Posted by Tim Blair at October 28, 2003 08:40 AM

Comments

Welcome to "Liberalism Gone Wild".

Funny enough, I bet those laws were put in by Republicans, but a New York Republican is practically a Democrat.

Posted by: Matt from Vegas at October 28, 2003 at 08:54 AM

Tim,
I don't know how any member of the Blair clan managed to wind up a Westie. I have lived in Melbourne for many years and I only ever cross the Westgate Bridge in the direst circumstance.

Please try and redeem yourself - at least put a deposit on an investment unit in Hawthorn or something. The rest of the family will pray for you.

Posted by: Robert Blair at October 28, 2003 at 09:04 AM

Tim, was the 'westie' comment a subtle way of showing you've pulled yourself up by the bootstraps? Robert, are you being ironic? Help me out!

Posted by: James at October 28, 2003 at 09:14 AM

How could anything be loftier than growing up within a Bernie Quinlan punt of Western Oval, in whose shadow 3AW's Tony Leonard grew to greatness?

Posted by: superboot at October 28, 2003 at 09:34 AM

Can anyone top Mrs Slatts' claim to greatness as a true daughter of the west: When she was a kid she saw Teddy Whitten in a shop.
And wet her pants!!!!

Posted by: slatts at October 28, 2003 at 09:45 AM

Slatts: This might sorta be in the same league: Dad was coming home from the shops and saw a pained looking head sticking out of a Dumpster and recognised Charlie Sutton, who'd eaten something that violently disagreed with him and hopped into the dumpster to attend to nature's call. Dad got the car and drove him home.

Another lady I know rather well was at the '54 premiership and very pregnant. She got so excited by the thrashing the Doggies were giving Melbourne, she swooned and had to be taken outside to the ambulance. After missing a quarter she decided she couldn't miss any more, ignored the medics and went back inside for the final term.

No harm done. I was born a couple of months later, none the worse for the experience. It's the closest I've come to seeing the Dogs win the big one ever since.

Posted by: suberboot at October 28, 2003 at 10:20 AM

Isn't a westie an east coast irish-american gang member?

Posted by: Kevin at October 28, 2003 at 10:31 AM

Why didn't you all just go outside and have a gasper with him?

Posted by: ilibcc at October 28, 2003 at 10:57 AM

Is a Westie right for you? Find out here.

Posted by: pooh at October 28, 2003 at 11:06 AM

longs as cansor

Posted by: Puce at October 28, 2003 at 11:16 AM

Tim, I don't know about Melbourne westies, but a Sydney westie you aint. Because westies are IT illiterate, don't(can't)read newspapers, drive utes, wear flannel shirts, drink beer, smoke joints and think people living east of Parramatta are up themselves.

As a Melbourne transplant, it's hard to figure you, but I see you as an inner city/fringe CBD (Pyrmont, South Sydney)apartment-dwelling, Merlot-sipping, Paddington-lunching trendoid, albeit with sound political and social views.

Perhaps you were in the wrong part of New York.

Posted by: Freddyboy at October 28, 2003 at 12:45 PM

Freddyboy,
A Melbourne Westie is the same as a Sydney Westie, except that, as usual, the Sydney-siders lack even the thinnest veneer of class.

I am disappointed at Tim's upbringing, but he has managed to lift himself out of all that. What he needs now is an Eastern suburbs address - maybe not Toorak, but we could start in Camberwell, say, or Kew, and then work up.

Tim - let me get you a Post Office box in Eltham mate - lets just try!

Posted by: Robert Blair at October 28, 2003 at 02:37 PM

Westie is not, I repeat not, a Melbourne word. Surely a Scotchboy should know better. As far as I know he has spent all his Melbourne adult life living in the inner city Clifton Hill/North Fitzroy axis far faraway from all those unpleasant things like poor people and the 'loser' culture he daily pours excrement upon.
Anyone who boasts of their previous 'westie' existence and doesnt live there is obviously a fraud.

Posted by: vin at October 28, 2003 at 02:41 PM

ALERT:
People, listen up - Vin Stasjic is not a real person.

'Vin' is a Net software robot running out of a server in Belgrade. 'He' regurgitates negativity 'harvested' from various lefty blogs into 'good' blogs.

As you all see, there are still many problems with the core algorithms.

If you encounter one of his posts, back away slowly. Maintain eye contact. Ensure your sidearm is ready to fire.

Posted by: NetAlert Corporation at October 28, 2003 at 03:03 PM

I think I hit a raw nerve. Somebody (who insists on hiding his identity)is really really angry. You can tell when they retreat into corny american movie dialogue and think its adult.
Oh yeah my ancestors were not serbian but vovadjian

Posted by: vin at October 28, 2003 at 03:12 PM

There's westies and then there's Westies.

Posted by: Cracker Barrel Philosopher at October 28, 2003 at 03:24 PM

If westie is just another name for bogan, then Melbourne's true westies live way out east.

Freddyboy wrote: "(Sydney) westies are IT illiterate, don't(can't)read newspapers, drive utes, wear flannel shirts, drink beer, smoke joints and think people living east of Parramatta are up themselves."

In Melbourne, that description fits many residents of far-eastern Lilydale? Kilsyth? Mooroolbark? Bayswater? perfectly - who, equally, think people living west of Nunawading are 'up themselves'. (Naturally, apologies to the many noble denizens of those suburbs who don't fit the description.)

If you were that far east in Sydney you'd be in the Pacific Ocean.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 28, 2003 at 03:28 PM

TIM; isnt it absolutely shoking when staff,help waiters etc dont attend to ones every need immediately. I say hang them. At least in New York they depend on ones tips. Next one will be waiting in queues. What the goddamn is money for!!

Posted by: telllaura at October 28, 2003 at 03:36 PM

ilibcc,
illy, mate, a quick lesson in Melbournian social geography:

(a) Westies live out West. Anywhere west of the Westgate Bridge is West. That includes Geelong.
(b) The Good Citizens live in the Eastern Suburbs.
(c) The Wankers live in the Inner City (until the apartment slump sends them bankrupt, back out to:)
(d) The Outer Suburbs (which are roughly those east of Nunawading/Blackburn)
(e) Bogans (which you charmingly placed in Lilydale, the well known haunt of poor gay people) all gather in and around the Northern suburban area of Boganville (AKA Broadmeadows).

It is important to note that southern suburbs such as Frankston do not actually exist. They are holograms placed there by the Government to stop freeway drivers falling asleep from boredom.

Posted by: Robert Blair at October 28, 2003 at 03:52 PM

g'day y'all!!!

so you sayin' Geelong is full of westies? I'm just askin' cuz my long-lost uncle appears to live in Geelong West.

Posted by: naz at October 28, 2003 at 06:13 PM

if tim blair means to imply that he is a westie according to the sydney understanding of the term, then he is unusually well educated, considering his background:

Bracks's opponent Rob Doyle is more a laugher than a smiler, at least until about 8pm this Saturday, when he will probably know the election result...

He's also a former teacher of mine, back when I was a teenage socialist idiot (at one of Victoria's wealthiest private schools, naturally).

of course, if he doesn't mean to imply westie-according-to-sydney-concept, then i'm an ass.

Posted by: roop at October 28, 2003 at 06:57 PM

"Westies"?? Bah, humbug!!

I live in Perth -- I'M a Westie -- the rest of you are just pale imitators and wannabes.

Posted by: BruceT at October 28, 2003 at 07:06 PM

"Westies"?? Bah, humbug!!

I live in Perth -- I'M a Westie -- the rest of you are just pale imitators and wannabes.

Posted by: BruceT at October 28, 2003 at 07:07 PM

"Westies"?? Bah, humbug!!

I live in Perth -- I'M a Westie -- the rest of you are just pale imitators and wannabes.

Posted by: BruceT at October 28, 2003 at 07:07 PM

I assume everyone's seen this latest gem from Ms. Broinowski. She makes some worthwhile points, but then finishes (inevitably) with "Its all our fault." Hooray.

Posted by: CCD at October 28, 2003 at 07:21 PM

Winter Westie: Black jeans, ripple sole shoes (did anyone here ever own a pair of ripple soles?), and torn red flanalette shirt.

Summer Westie: Thongs, stubbies and a fosters singlet.

I went to a state school in Sydney's eastern suburbs - we got called "westies" by the private school kids and "eastern suburbs wankers" by the westies.

One night I was talking to this private school girl with a few of my mates, and one of her friends walked up and said "Don't talk to them, they're public school boys". The next week, that same girl got on our bus (the 324 which stops at a number of schools) and we told everyone on the bus what she had said. She got all the payouts that day. We never saw her on the bus again.

Posted by: Jonny at October 29, 2003 at 05:39 AM

I thought Tim was a Bondi Junction resident. Let me see Bondi Junction is surrounded by Bellevue Hill, Woollahra, Queen's Park and Bondi. Yes, very Eastern Suburbs.

Jonny,

When I was at school in the Eastern Suburbs, I don't think I met anyone socially who didn't go to a private school (Sydney High being the exception). I'm glad to hear that the state school pupils and the private school pupils in your time (which I assume is more recent than mine)sometimes mix.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 29, 2003 at 06:40 AM

Toryhere,

I went to four schools in Sydney's eastern suburbs - two private schools (one GPS prodestant, and the other jewish) and two state schools (including Sydney Boys High). Guess, I was a bit of a problem child. But I spent most of my time at state schools and consider myself to be from a state school. I much preferred the state schools to the private schools.

I would have thought of Tim as coming from Elizabeth Bay (innercity east) - I think I heard him mention that he drinks at the Bourbon.

Posted by: Jonny at October 29, 2003 at 07:05 AM

In Manly (Sydney), where I used to live we had a rule, "anyone who lives west of Pittwater Road is WESTIE"

So you are all (other than those who live along a 50 wide metre strip of the beautiful Sydney coastline) WESTIES! End of story!

And Toryhere, the Eastern Suburbs private schools have such famous alumni as "Young" Warwick Fairfax, Jodee Rich, Jamie Packer, Rodney Adler ... do I need to go on? Best not boast.

Posted by: The_GOP_Elephant at October 29, 2003 at 08:09 AM

Stiff shit.

Non-smokers have had to put up with burning eyes and second-hand stink for years. While selfish morons who are too dumb to realize all those anti-smoking campaigns are aimed at them, think they have a right to assault us.

I say if you want to shoot up nicotine, go hang out in the gutter with all the other addicts.

And good riddance to you.

Posted by: Stomp at October 29, 2003 at 11:21 AM

Melbourne might think that its westies are the same as Sydney's, but Sydney westies wouldn't even know where Melbourne is. Their idea of an interstate trip would be going to the Gold Coast for the Indy or to pick up chicks in Schoolies week.

Posted by: Freddyboy at October 29, 2003 at 02:26 PM

Jonny,

Sydney High is always counted as a "private school" in that it competes with the major private schools in sport and such like.

GOP Elelphant,

I just knew you would bring up my old class mates Adler and Rich. But fair's fair; a lot of us in the Cranbrook class of 77 have gone on to be reasonably well-adjusted chappies. I know we produced a social worker, but there are plenty of good RWDBs amongst us.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 29, 2003 at 02:45 PM

Toryhere,

Winston Churchill stated that the British Navy, all-conquering for centuries derived its strength from "rum, sodomy and the lash".

Sounds like Eastern Suburbs private schools could have done with a bit more rum ... ?

Elephant

Posted by: The_GOP_Elephant at October 29, 2003 at 03:35 PM

Good grief! This string is sounding more and more like the ABC: all middle class, middle age, private school,snooty, Eastern suburbs, mildly socialist, Sydney ends at Ultimo. We've gone from genuine Aussie westies to Eastern suburbs pseuds. Let me outta here!

Posted by: Freddyboy at October 29, 2003 at 04:15 PM

Naz, Who's ya unc? I live in Geelong West.

Posted by: slatts at October 29, 2003 at 06:12 PM

wow, i'm just a simple guy from new jersey; all this class-stuff goes way over my head, and sadly corrodes my innocent faith that australia was a happy place of cold beer and buxom blondes...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at October 29, 2003 at 11:06 PM

I though Churchill's quote was actually dismissive 'Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash'.
Now, what do I know about Eastern Suburbs private schools ?

Posted by: philippe at October 30, 2003 at 02:19 AM

Freddyboy,

So where are the real people? If the West of Sydney is full of real people, why do they constantly return ALP members to Parliament?

Most of the pseuds and lefties that I know live in the inner-west. The Eastern Suburbs have some, but they are usually the sort of hypocritical ALP types like Whitlam, Wran et al, who don't seem to want to live amognst the people they represented in Parliament.

But let's face it, the right wing side of politics gets its real strength from those in the upper half of the socio-economic spectrum.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 30, 2003 at 06:51 AM

hey toryhere, haven't you heard, it's the aspiring classes of Sydney's outer west who got Howard over the line last time.

Posted by: slatts at October 30, 2003 at 10:55 AM

"all journalists" huh?

Posted by: Miranda Divide at October 30, 2003 at 11:58 AM

Slatts

Look at the electoral map of Sydney and you will see that the outer metropolitan seats are all semi-rural. They are not the "Western Suburbs" in the classic sense. They contain a lot of people who have made a bit of money and have moved out of the the real western suburbs. These are the people who have been targetted so successfully by John Howard, The real Western suburbs from Redfern to Liverpool are nearly all represented in Parliament by the ALP.

The Liberals now also dominate on the Central Coast (for Americans that is an area about 20 miles north of the outskirts of Sydney) for similar reasons. I seem to remeber reading somewhere not long ago that many people who grew up in the Western Suburbs but who have succeeded in life now move to the Central Coast rather than closer to the City.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 30, 2003 at 12:20 PM

Of course, only successful people vote liberal.

Posted by: Miranda Divide at October 30, 2003 at 12:31 PM

And people aspiring to be successful, Miranda. That leaves you with the deadbeats and no-hopers.

Posted by: Maxi at October 30, 2003 at 02:24 PM

Toryhere et al,

I remember reaading in the '80s of the phenomenon of the "Reagan Democrats" - blue collar left-leaning, anarcho syndicalists who had voted Democrat all their lives but when THEIR party was over-run by the trendy set and they thought about Reagan's policies on jobs, defence, eduction etc - they did what they had never done before and voted Republican.

Now transport yourself to 1996 in Australia and for Paul Keating the defining issues in Australia were arts funding, land rights, and a range of cappucino-socialist "causes" (as opposed to policies) and what happens, a lot of traditional blue collar voters thought about what had happened to THEIR labor party and looked at Howard's policies on border security, jobs, education, interest rates etc and THEY voted for Jackie Kelly in Lyndsay (outer western Sydney which had NEVER had a conservative member of parliament - or had even come close).

So as the ALP becomes more a party of left-leaning limp dick middle class wannabes, they lose radicals to the Greens and conservative workers to the Liberals and soon the ALP will dissapear up the backsides of the trendoids who tried to take over the party.

Paul Keating, Robert Tickner and all the others from the class of '91 to '96 showed us everything what was wrong with the ALP and will be looked back on in 100 years as being part of the "fork in the road" for the ALP that led it down the path to irrelevance with those it used to take for granted.

The "westies" have lost their party to the inner-city chardonnay socialists - and they are not happy about it.

Elephant

Posted by: The_GOP_Elephant at October 30, 2003 at 02:49 PM

I don't suppose they have all rushed out and bought Reg Livermore's newly-released autobiography then.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 30, 2003 at 03:47 PM

Nothing exceeds like excess!

Posted by: Miranda Divide at October 30, 2003 at 10:32 PM

Kevin,

Isn't a westie an east coast irish-american gang member?

In Australia we call them (the gang members, not necessarily irish) the ACTU.

Posted by: Jonny at October 31, 2003 at 05:32 AM

Kevin
"Isn't a westie an east coast irish-american gang member?"

Close but no cigar. The "Westies" were an Irish crime syndicate in the West Side of Manhattan, the area known as Hell's Kitchen. See _Westies: Inside the Hell's Kitchen Irish Mob_(http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312924291/103-3250456-1191016?v=glance#product-details).

If I was a visitor to New York, I'd be very careful about identifying myself as a "Westie".

Posted by: Rich Rostrom at October 31, 2003 at 07:29 AM

Isn't a westie an east coast irish-american gang member?

In Australia we call them (the gang members, not necessarily irish) the ACTU.

Far from being Irish, I thought they were all refugee Scots from the Margaret Thatcher era......

Posted by: Osamas Psychotic Proctologist at October 31, 2003 at 09:48 AM

Elephant,

As usual your analysis was urbane and intelligent. But before the Reagan Democrats there was "Essex Man", who Margaret Thatcher won for the Tories in 1979. As with so many things Mrs T was the harbinger of the Conservative rebranding that has seen them become the leading force in politics in so many countries. It's just a shame that the Tories in Britain forgot many of the lessons that Margaret taught them. But now they too have a Hopward at the helm things look ready for a comeback.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 31, 2003 at 12:32 PM

I used to be a strong labor/greens supporter. I used to campaign for them in the state and federal elections. Now, I think they're so blinded by their hatred of america (and the jews), that they've really turned into moonbat idiotarians and deteriorated significantly.

Posted by: Jonny at November 1, 2003 at 05:29 AM