October 17, 2003


I’ll be away for a couple of days, so make your own fun in the comments! Readers may address in this comments section any issues concerning pets, addiction, neighbours, court appearances, your favourite deceased magazine, screenplays, or the New Imperialism.

Posted by Tim Blair at October 17, 2003 07:38 AM

From Ask the Imam:

"I just wanted to ask that is it allowed in Islam that a wife can masterbate her husband in her period days?And is it allowed that a husband can suck her wives breasts?"

And the answer is:
"Yes, it is permissible for a wife to masturbate her husband.

It is also permissible for a husband to derive pleasure from his wife’s breasts. However, he should ensure that no milk goes into his mouth."

There you have it ladies. Get crackin.

Posted by: JohnO at October 17, 2003 at 07:46 AM

Well, fellow Blairophiles, if we're gonna be in charge of this blog and hope to maintain its standards by pissing off its critics, I suggest we immediately begin by ordering up a long, leisurely lunch.

Further, I suggest that Tim's foes take a look around themselves everyday between 11 and 1 and see just how many people are eating lunch! That's right...Blair is Everywhere!

Posted by: JDB at October 17, 2003 at 08:07 AM

Was browsing in a bookstore recently, and saw a wonderful brew of leftist idiocy: A new book by Noam Chomsky ("Towards a New Cold War", or something), prominently advertising a foreword by John Pilger, with a quote of high praise on the cover from the late Edward Said.

Wasn't it Blair's law that all the world's idiocies are combining into one huge, useless force?

Posted by: JPS at October 17, 2003 at 08:48 AM

Mad has just never been the same since Feldstein took over for Kurtzman. 49 years ago.

Posted by: Mike G at October 17, 2003 at 08:55 AM

Hey, since Tim is AWOL come check out my blog. It's just like Tim's blog except there are no stories about pets, addiction, neighbours, court appearances, your favourite deceased magazine, screenplays, the New Imperialism, foreign languages, Phillip Adams, analog recording equipment, Japanese cartoons, denial, James Randi, the advantages of a police state, lunch, Margo Kingston, sandwich boys, Ted Rall, Collingwood, Peter FitzSimons, or assassinating the editor of the Guardian.

Posted by: Randal Robinson at October 17, 2003 at 08:58 AM

Imperialism 101

All the coalition's citizens should have received an invitation to the Imperialism 101 Seminar. This will prepare us as we assume world control.

One of the agenda items concerns itself with citizens getting paid every month as we plunder the world. I guess we have to sign up and prove we're citizens and then sit back to wait for the monthly check. (The more nations we conquer the bigger those checks will be!!)

Prime Minister Mahathir has discovered we are all under the control of our Zionist Masters. That guy is clever. We tried so hard to keep it a secret. We must have had a defector that ratted us out.

Will the Zionist Masters give Jews an extra check, just for being Jews? I was just wondering because good friends of mine are Jews and they could sure use the extra money.

(If anyone thinks this is NOT sarcasm, you have a problem.)

Posted by: Chris Josephson at October 17, 2003 at 08:59 AM

Addiction: blogs. How the hell does one kick the habit when you work with computers?

(cry for help!)

Posted by: taspundit at October 17, 2003 at 09:51 AM

Addiction: blogs. How the hell does one kick the habit when you work with computers? Maybe self discipline would help.

(cry for help!)

Posted by: taspundit at October 17, 2003 at 09:51 AM


Oh wait, wrong blog.

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 17, 2003 at 10:29 AM

Can we swear?

Posted by: Skinny Hippo at October 17, 2003 at 03:53 PM

Addictions: Nearly drank myself to death 12 years ago. But addiction free for 10 years now. Still crazy, just unaddicted.

Pets: Just love my Golden Retreiver, thus the name of my website. BigGoldDog.com

Neighbors: I have mostly great neighbors. The others are slovenly pigs who don't meet my standards for yard maintenance.

Court Appearances: None in 10 years now. [see addictions above].

Posted by: wallace at October 17, 2003 at 04:09 PM

Did you see Peter FitzSimons was on This Is Your Life with Matt Munro last night. I'm surprised they didn't bring out Osama Bin Laden so he could apologize to him in person.

I wouldn't mind rooting his wife either.

Posted by: Mike Hunt at October 17, 2003 at 04:14 PM

Golden Retrievers are the single best breed of dog on the face of the Earth, absolutely.

They may even be the single best species of any creature, humans included.

Posted by: pooh at October 17, 2003 at 04:28 PM

My favorite deceased magazine is Dead Times.

I'm addicted to coffee.

My dog killed my neighbor's dog in self-defense. Served the fat old bitch right - and the dog was none too pretty either (rimshot!).

My favorite court appearance is the one Kobe Bryant will make in the Lakers' first game. I predict those obscene fans will give him a standing ovation, or I don't know my typical low-life gangster-wanna-be NBA fan. There are already, I'm sure, at least three screenplays being written about Kobe's "trials".

My favorite alt rock band is Trailer Trash - but where can I get a hold of the New Imperialism's CD?

That's all of 'em. Thanks, Tim!

Posted by: timks at October 17, 2003 at 04:36 PM

I'm addicted to hurting my neighbour's cat so he took me to court and it got printed in Creem Magazine next to an article about Neil Simon's California Suit.

New Imperialism Rocks!

Posted by: Tony.T at October 17, 2003 at 04:45 PM

Can anyone beat my effort on Australia Talks Back last night? In a full hour of ABC radio, including the invited guests and callers from all over Australia, I was the only one to support the Federal Government over industrial reforms for the higher education sector. No Good Lefties 48, Forces of Righteousness 1.

Basically made the point that recruiting Alan Dershowitz to an Australian university might be difficult if the starting point was showing him a copy of the enterprise agreement....

Posted by: GeoffM at October 17, 2003 at 04:47 PM

GeoffM - I'm sorry, you're disqualified, but thanks for playing! Unless Alan Dershowitz is your cat or Australia Talks Back is a screen play...

Then again: Dershowitz was Claus von Bulow's attorney, and you've displayed an addiction to fruitless discussions with leftists about industrial reforms.

Never mind. On second thought, you win!

Posted by: timks at October 17, 2003 at 05:04 PM

Geoff M, you got on Australia Talks Back?

That is such an old folks' home for ageing lefties - almost palliative care level, without the compassion - the callers even have their own weird accent with their strange pursed-lip breathiness, their oddball verbal tics and their parched logic.

The host is reasonably genial but only because he appears to know all of the callers personally. He's probably a qualified psychiatric nurse.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 17, 2003 at 05:04 PM

Not that I'm implying you're one of them. I know the program well as it was the only radio I could pick up on my regular long commutes last year.

I can just imagine them all listening to you, pursing their dried out lips and shaking their pre-Alzheimer-riddled heads at the sound of an outsider infringing on their hour of sour prior to being wheeled off to bed by some benevolent younger relative.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 17, 2003 at 05:12 PM

Best dead magazine: Spy (USA) pre-1990 incarnation

Best Spy writer: Joe Queenan

Posted by: S.A. Smith at October 17, 2003 at 05:29 PM

Third serious radioactive spill at mine


110 000 litres (oh such a big number) has overflowed from a Counter Current decant thickener. This is seriously one of the biggest laugh stories I have heard for a while.

And the concentration of Uranium in this poisonous mix?!?!?! 27 ppm - in laymans terms 0.0027% Uranium!!! head for the hills it is coming right for us!!

This overflow was from a clarifier, they are basically there to wash out the dissolved uranium from the ground up ore. Needless to say that under each one of these things is a great big mother of a concrete bund. By law each of these needs to be able to handle the entire contents of each thickener which would have a capacity well over 110m3 or to use big numbers 110 000 litres.

So there was never a remote danger of these overflowing the bund let alone contaminating the surrounding environment. Now Roxby downs has a huge capacity so I am guessing that some operator (never a metallurgist - never) had closed a value he/she shouldn't have and as a consequence all this liquid poured over the top of the thickener harmlessly into the bund. I am guessing that the total volume flow into the circuit is well over 500 m3/hr (maybe even double) so this sort of thing happens all the bloody time. You would only need to have a surge in the circuit or for the value to be closed for about 110/500 or roughly 10 minutes total (about the time it takes for a bloke to take a crap and read some stick mags in the toilets.)

However because of the whole Uranium issue they have regulations requiring them to report any significant spillage (no doubt spillage is thoroughly defined in some busted ass government handbook) to the authorities so they can then go berko. My call is that some inexperienced shift team leader called it in to upper management without following the correct procedure and as a result has now been demoted to sample preparation in the laboratory (shit job) or is hosing underneath the SAGMILL. (slightly better but still a shit job).

Posted by: Rob at October 17, 2003 at 05:56 PM

i used to love One-on-One magazine.

Posted by: Random_Prose at October 17, 2003 at 07:07 PM

Court Appearances/Addiction -

THIS pisses me off. Why is the Immigration Department bending the rules for that sleazy rapper, 50 Cent. This person has a serious record, and has been associated with criminals and drug-dealers. Immigration Dept. rules state that an individual can be barred from entering Australia "when there is a significant risk that the person . . . will incite discord in the Australian community . . ." (thank you to Andrew Bolt for that quote).

Why do some elements of society insist on elevating and admiring trash?

Posted by: dee at October 17, 2003 at 07:10 PM

I blame the ABC.

Posted by: craig at October 17, 2003 at 08:42 PM

Best dead magazine: The (also defunct) Israeli daily newspaper Hadashot's weekend magazine. It also has the best dead writer, Dan Ben Amotz, who was outed as a pedophile posthumously and somehow lost much of his charm. Most of you can't challenge this, seeing as Hadashot only came out in Hebrew. It was Haaretz's attempt at creating a tabloid. It was perfect because it looked just like a tabloid but wasn't one.

Posted by: Imshin at October 17, 2003 at 09:05 PM

I'm currently writing a screenplay, hopefully one that Mr Bruckheimer, Mr Silver or Mr Spielberg will like. Basically, it's Romancing the Stone meets Dr Moreau's Island.

The main characters are a Welsh woman, handy with a broadsword, who heads for a place called Eternity, Alabama, trying to find out what happened to the Welsh who first colonised America in the 12th century, and a cynical drunken New York tabloid crime reporter who heads for the same place tyring to find out who killed his parents on a yacht in 1970 , pursued by police who think he has committed a similar murder. No good with swords. They meet up and mayhem ensues.

I'm not telling you the rest, because someone will steal it.

I want a good title with the word Eternity in it. Not Eternity, AL, because that would have to be a comedy. Bit of adventure, mystery, lots of blood and fighting, romance and genetic evildoery.

I don't have any prizes to offer. But you might have your title on al almighty blockbuster.

Posted by: Dave F at October 17, 2003 at 09:15 PM

For me, a Rhodesian Ridgeback is the only pet worth having. I've had them for twenty years and have yet to work out if they're dogs or cats.

Posted by: S Whiplash at October 17, 2003 at 10:42 PM

In breaking Kiwi/asshat news - they're not going forward with the fart tax.
"The Government has abandoned its plans for a flatulence tax in the face of fierce farmer opposition and international derision."

So now the Kiwis are deciding their laws on if the bloody foriegners are going laugh at them. What a bunch of boogerheads.

Posted by: LB at October 17, 2003 at 11:10 PM

In regards to the New Imperialism / Iraqi War II~

I regard myself as having been a staunch supporter of the Australian role played in Iraqi Freedom, but just recently an excellent article in 'The Diplomat' gave me pause.

I understand that the contracts for the rebuilding of Iraq's shattered industries is underway and commercial tenders have been (are still?) being issued out amongst the member nations of the US alliance.

I was wondering, does anyone know of what was thrown Australia's way? I know that Poland, who committed some 200 troops or so, was given several lucrative contracts.

How about us?

Posted by: Mick at October 17, 2003 at 11:27 PM

What about Der Voelkischer Beobachter? Mahatir would have loved it.

Posted by: Saucy Adolf at October 18, 2003 at 12:16 AM

I used to love MAD Magazine. They're still around, but their best writers got snapped up by The New York Times.


Posted by: bitweever at October 18, 2003 at 12:21 AM

I loved Spy magazine, too. Excellent expose of Steven Seigal.

I am hopelessly addicted to gin martinis, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Melrose Place, and Chai.

I have two filth machines others mistakenly call cats.

Cutthroat Island manages to make swordfights dull.

Posted by: ushie at October 18, 2003 at 12:54 AM

To the sick puppy who wants to pork Peter Fitzsimmons missus : don't go there mate, she's some sort of lefty journo too - where do you think he gets it from, football? C'mon.........

Posted by: Jafa at October 18, 2003 at 01:34 AM

I have a one-eared cat that drinks beer. Yes, he's a badass.

Posted by: Ken at October 18, 2003 at 03:05 AM

I was coming home from the pet-food store in my Brooklyn neighborhood a few days ago (getting Fancy Feast for my three Maine Coon cats) when I noticed a flyer announcing a "HATE BUSH/HATE GLOBALIZATION" rally stapled to a telephone pole. I tore it down. Immediately some squirrley looking guy appears and said, "Who the fuck gave you to tear that down? Working for the Bush-Ashcroft junta?" I set down my bag of kittie yummies and popped him in the mouth. He dropped like a 50-pound bag of U.N. food aid. I wadded up the flier and stuck it in his mouth. Yes, it felt fucking good.

Posted by: O. Cromwell at October 18, 2003 at 03:49 AM

He wants praise no doubt - a prominent Australian Muslim cleric has come out saying that he "stopped" bombings from being carried out in Australia before the Olympic games. Oh well done old chap but normally I would have given the wannabe bomber's name to the authorities if you really believe that Islam is a religion of peace - that is how things are done in Australia.
dont expect no slap on the back from me.


Posted by: Rob at October 18, 2003 at 04:09 AM

Has anyone seen those pics of Brad Pitt w/ that big ass beard? Let's hope he's preparing for a role as a dirty hippie.

Posted by: wes at October 18, 2003 at 04:23 AM

There are no excellent articles in "The Diplomat". That magazine has consistently failed to impress me, and the letters they print indicate that some of their readers are quite mad - as are their editors for printing them.

Dave F:
"Finding Eternity"


Posted by: SGM at October 18, 2003 at 05:14 AM

I miss OMNI magazine.

Posted by: Adriane at October 18, 2003 at 06:36 AM

“Back to Eternity,” obviously. Luck of lots.

Posted by: ForNow at October 18, 2003 at 07:16 AM

my fave deceased mag
is QW the all time best queer mag ever
fave deceased paper
is the soho news
which used to BLOW away the village voice
in a heart beat
as to pets
ive got two cats
a male and a female
the female
is an evil feminist bitch who hates men
the male is a nelly mamas boy
whos loves men
and smelly arm pits
they say to watch your pets
to learn what kinda mom you would be
im in trouble

Posted by: rossi at October 18, 2003 at 08:24 AM

Tim, is that smoke coming out of your house? Tim, er, Tim? Hey, Tim!!??, hey... never mind

Posted by: SteveMG at October 18, 2003 at 08:31 AM


It looks like slim pickens from the OZ point of view. We signed up too early and the late comers have extracted better deals. On the basis that control of Iraq's oil has passed from Saddam Hussein & Cronies to GW Bush & Cronies, there are naturally out of pocket expenses to be repaid apart from largesse to be distributed. See the attached for an update of the US equation.


One OZ beneficiary was Chris Corrigan's Patrick Corp, which picked up a handy sub-contract in Basra docks. The head contract went to a US corporate donor to the GOP, much to the fury of the Brits who took Basrain the war. Chris had previous experience of stevedoring in Gulf ports have trained a strike breaking squad in Dubai some years ago on Peter Reith's initiative. Oh, and I fogot, Corrigan is also a major contributor to the Liberal Party and bien recu in Lib circles.
His non-babe wife Val is a leader of the Malcolm 'El Presidente' Turnbull push to gatecrash the seat of Federal seat of Wentworth.

Posted by: bluedog at October 18, 2003 at 08:41 AM

Tim Blair is going to be away for a few, huh?

Must be test-driving a car....or something.....hehe

Posted by: Bashir Gemayel at October 18, 2003 at 09:21 AM

Slim Pickens? He was great in Dr. Strangelove.

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 18, 2003 at 10:23 AM

I have two fifteen year old staffies that eat curry and drink beer (and love a punch-up).

must be something about originating in northern England.

Posted by: Habib at October 18, 2003 at 11:40 AM

From Hair To Eternity.

Posted by: Boris A.Kupershmidt at October 18, 2003 at 02:13 PM

Pets are delicious- why does Steve Bracks hate us so?

Posted by: Tran Van Trinh at October 18, 2003 at 02:38 PM

Oh, to be in Port Macquarie......

Posted by: Bashir Gemayel at October 18, 2003 at 05:38 PM

My favorite deceased magazine is the original that came with my Browning 9mm. The spring broke after 30 years of faithful service.

Posted by: Phil at October 19, 2003 at 05:40 AM

Those japaneese almost taught the froggies a lesson. They get a bit tired at the end and surprised at the beginning but the japaneese out played the french in the middle. haha England is going to clobber those french.

Posted by: Scottie at October 19, 2003 at 07:38 AM

Dad's out of town; let's take the blog for a spin and pick up some chicks.

Posted by: philip at October 19, 2003 at 10:09 AM

Chris Josephson is really on to something:

One of the agenda items concerns itself with citizens getting paid every month as we plunder the world. I guess we have to sign up and prove we're citizens and then sit back to wait for the monthly check. (The more nations we conquer the bigger those checks will be!!)

This is a fabulous idea and I could really use the extra revenue stream. However, I have an idea that would enhance the payout.

Since our military is so small, we can only plunder four or five countries every year. To increase our take, I suggest that we turn world conquest into a pyramid scheme. We’ll sign up three or four Conquest Distributors (England, Australia, and Poland immediately come to mind) they would then kick back a hefty percentage of their plunder to us. These Distributors would be allowed to sign up their own Sub-Distributors who would kick back to a percentage the Distributor and a smaller percentage to us. They could sign up Subs etc., on and on.

We’re talking serious money here folks. We could all end up as rich as the guy who started Amway.

Posted by: bobby at October 19, 2003 at 11:50 AM

No, no, no. Goldens are nice, sure, but the absolute best dog in the entire universe is clearly the Boston Terrier. Face like a gargoyle, smart as a whip, energy to spare and mine loves me bunches.

Posted by: LoveMyBT at October 19, 2003 at 12:50 PM

I am guessing that Tim’s absence this weekend is due to a secret rendezvous with Margo.

Posted by: perfectsense at October 19, 2003 at 01:36 PM

Dachshund, English Setter, Brittany.
Any one has more brains than Fatty Phil Adams, and is far more attractive. Probably got better table manners, too.

Posted by: Bushy at October 19, 2003 at 04:44 PM

Hey has anyone heard that ad on ABC Radio for Kylie Kwong's new cook-book? Sounds good; I might need to buy it, maybe at Christmas time.

Posted by: GeoffM at October 19, 2003 at 09:20 PM

Retrievers aren't bad, But the best dog is a Rottwieler. he doesn't drink beer, (he used to, but he got drunk once and kicked the habit) now he's strictly a whiskey and 7-up drinker. He's not mean, but he looks scary, which keeps people off the property. he's also good for flushing out idiots in the community. Even though my nearest neighbor is a mile away, I get complaints from people living five miles away for having a big mean Rottie roaming loose on my 80 acre estate.
He also kills stray cats, which takes the burden of cat fighting away from my tabby, who thinks he's a rottie as well...
he's also a good scapegoat for blaming smelly farts on.

Posted by: Hugh Wyatt at October 20, 2003 at 03:32 AM

what a great idea comments for the sake of comments...

Posted by: Nels Lindahl at October 20, 2003 at 05:52 AM

About dogs, you're all wrong. To see the best dog in the world, behold Rambo, Yorkie o' Death.

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 20, 2003 at 10:13 AM

Hey Tim, I've been wondering, if Bush is so smart (as you claimed the other day), how come he made that stupid sheriff comment? If he had any smidgen of sensitivity towards Australian foreign affairs and the need for local diplomacy, he wouldn't have said it. What a lame-brain.

Posted by: Gianna at October 20, 2003 at 02:11 PM

Australia confirmed as an upholder of regional law-and-order. What a horrible prospect for the Left who famously bury their heads in the sand at the first mention of conflict.

Gianna, George Bush is not a lame-brain. His comment is typical no-bull Texan and it speaks the truth to people who recognise the common sense inherent in it, and would like to see Australia carrying out a pro-active role in protecting themselves and their children from a new world order of State-sponsored terrorism against sovereign nations.

George Bush has the kind of smarts that people recognise and identify with. Congratulations George Bush. Here's one Texan for which the abuse of the Left is like water off a ducks' back.

Posted by: ilibcc at October 20, 2003 at 02:37 PM

Way to go ilibcc, now we'll probably have that idiot, Jack - look how smart I am because I have found this really great quote from someone who's ever so smart, just like me - Strocchi making huge posts that nobody can be bothered to read all the way through because they're so damned lame and boring.

Posted by: S Whiplash at October 20, 2003 at 05:50 PM

Hahaha bitches, US military (un)announces a major pullout from iraq! read it only in Stars n' Stripes, for it isn't a publicised thing yo, but i hope all y'all feel sad, sad sad right wing fuckers

Posted by: Nemoitz at October 20, 2003 at 06:08 PM

Major pullout? You mean like, bringing the troops home? Why would we be sad about that? A lot of right wing folk would love to see their friends, family and countrymen safe and living back amongst the freedom they try to protect.

It's the left who should be sad. Hard to call the yanks imperialist if they're busy bringing the 'occupation forces' home. Also hard to walk around going "No War!! Bring the troops home!" once they're already home.

..so there :p

Posted by: Ken at October 20, 2003 at 06:26 PM

Yeah Gianna, Bush should learn some really sophisticated words like stupid,lame-brain,arse-licker and moron.

Posted by: Gary at October 20, 2003 at 06:50 PM

"Back to Eternity" definitely has something going for it. It may just be a bit of a spoiler for the plot but it is a contender, thanks ForNow -- and the other two (Hair to Eternity, great name for a salon).

So far I have come up with The War in Eternity, Trouble in Eternity and not much else. The problem is avoiding the sense of a religious setting like those Left Behind movies.

Posted by: Dave F at October 20, 2003 at 06:59 PM

What's wrong with the "sheriff" comment? It's kind of hokey, but what's to get insulted about? Oh wait -- I forgot. Cowboys, the west, anything associated with that = evil. You know, we still call our chiefs of police "sheriffs" in some parts of the states. For instance, several counties in Florida we have the ____ County Sheriff's Department. Betcha you think that makes us all a bunch of rednecks that can spit watermelon seeds real far.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 20, 2003 at 08:27 PM

"Debbie Does Eternity"

Posted by: Ken Summers at October 20, 2003 at 11:48 PM

MAD did fall off drastically with Kurtzman out of the picture. "National Lampoon", in its MAD satire, "Citizen Gaines," made the point quite well. No MAD artist ever equalled the subversive genius of the late Wallace Wood.

"National Lampoon" itself was great from about '71 to '79, when (still a leftie then, but inching rightward) PJ O'Rourke wrote many of the funniest articles, including the infamous "Foreigners Around the World." http://www.nationallampoon.com/flashbacks/foreigners/foreigners2.html

"Spy" was brilliant for a time, but the onset of the 90's seemed to doom them. Queenan was very funny but I think Paul Rudnick would have to rate mention as well. The funniest "Spy" piece was almost certainly "The Canadians Among Us", which unfortunately I cannot link to. It posited a gradual, insidious infiltration of the US by polite, self-effacing white people from the frozen north, and included a marvelous list of stuff that while not actually Canadian, nonetheless SEEMED to be... Meryl Streep, Garrick Utley, Life Magazine, etc.

Posted by: FoamChomsky at October 21, 2003 at 12:02 AM

My neighbour is an arsehole who mows half my front verge and peers through the windows at night if he thinks I am rooting.
Plus he works and claims a pension.
Just thought I'd let you know.

Posted by: Pedro the Ignorant at October 21, 2003 at 01:56 AM

My favorite late magazine has to be "Sassy." It was a teen magazine, many years ago, that didn't talk down to its audience, and it actually focused on bands I liked (e.g., Fugazi, Faith No More).

Posted by: Anne at October 21, 2003 at 06:34 AM

Dr. Chomsky, remember Walter Monheit (TM)?

Posted by: S.A. Smith at October 21, 2003 at 02:44 PM


If the cynical drunken New York tabloid crime reporter is gay, but is genetically altered to become straight, in which case the fundamentalists running Heaven let him in when the cops pump him full of lead in the climactic "wrongly-accused-man-gets-chewed-up-and-spit-out-by-the-system" scene, then your title should be "From Queer to Eternity".

Posted by: Ken Davidson at October 21, 2003 at 06:51 PM

By the way, I'm not that Australian journalist Ken Davidson who Tim trashes regularly. I'm a Canadian Ken Davidson who hasn't so much as spoken to a journalist.

Posted by: Ken Davidson at October 21, 2003 at 06:54 PM


More titles:

If it's a LOT of mayhem ensuing, "The End of Eternity".

If the characters are all 20-somethings, "Eternity 90210".

If the main events take place in a short time, "A Day in Eternity" or "An Hour in Eternity" or (somewhat unlikely) "A Second in Eternity".

If the main events drag on and on, "An Eternity in Eternity".

If the Welsh swordstress and the booze-stained hack destroy the town and their souls pursuing their goals, "Sacrificing Eternity".

By the way, there were Vikings in North America before Columbus, but I don't think the Welsh had even made it to England in the 12th century.

Posted by: Ken Davidson at October 21, 2003 at 07:33 PM

The PJ O'Rourke era National Lampoon. Never the same after the early 80's.

Posted by: Craig Mc at October 21, 2003 at 07:44 PM

I'm canadian as well ken.

By the way, there is a show called "Sternity, It's about an alien sent to earth to save the earth from another alien who came to earth to destroy it.
This alien has a human body and meets this hot blonde. He knows nothing about human sexuality, but somehow he remains a virgin through the entire series. He's also a handsome young stud, and you can see the wet spot between Lauras legs towards the end of every show, and her quivering lips pn close ups that show her clear moist hungry blue eyes that whisper F--k me.

Ethanel on the otherhand just can't seem to pick up her signals, because he's a stupid alien trapped in a hunks body, so every episode kinda feel sorry for Laura because you know she's never going to get laid by that dumbass

On another thought of yours, here in Manitoba, there is evidence of Nordics having been here thousands of years before any evidence of what we call natives.

Posted by: Hugh Wyatt at October 21, 2003 at 08:20 PM

oops, show called "eternity"

Posted by: Hugh wyatt at October 21, 2003 at 08:23 PM


Wow. Think I'll stick with "Stargate SG1". It keeps the hot blonde/young stud stuff to a minimum, and there are definitely no wet spots involved.

Posted by: Ken Davidson at October 21, 2003 at 08:41 PM

Ken Davidson, very interesting plot arc there but a bit laboured. Maybe Gore Vidal could write that one.

Welsh Prince Caradoc app Owen's voyages to America in the 12th century have been ther subject of several books. The second time he took 100 settlers (probably fleeing the Anglo-Saxons) and they landed at Mobile Bay. Plaque there marks alleged arrival. And there is a plaque at their alleged departure point as well.

Evidence is cited that they intermarried with Indians -- some studies say one tribe in that area has many Welsh words in its language.
There are also Welsh-style forts further inland dating to the period, and some claims that the last of the Welsh settlers died in a battle with local Indians at Ohio Falls, much further inland. You can Google it .

Posted by: Dave F at October 21, 2003 at 09:22 PM

"Eternity's Sunrise" - William Blake, "Gnomic Verses, XVII,i".

Posted by: Theodopoulos Pherecydes at October 21, 2003 at 09:42 PM

Sorry that's Prince Madoc, not Caradoc (confused with one of my characters)

Posted by: Dave F at October 21, 2003 at 09:46 PM

What sort of sad fucks are you, that you are trolling around a links page to some prick who just schleps off and leaves you in charge? You should at least have his credit card number.

Posted by: PJ ORourke at October 22, 2003 at 01:51 AM


That "Eternty" show has the exact same plot as another show called "Tracker." The good alien was named "Cole" on that one. He was some sort of alien cop. I thought they should have called the show "Cole's Law." Er, maybe not.

Ken -

"Stargate SG-1" is good, dumb fun that takes the piss out of itself, as the Aussies say. My favorite line was when Jack was complaining to T'ealc about being forced to find a replacement for Dr. Jackson - "Command has decided that we need to find another socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness."

Posted by: Dave S. at October 22, 2003 at 01:59 AM

Old business. I never did thank SteveMG for his discussion at http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/004380.php (THE SIGHS HAVE IT, Oct. 4, 2003) & his there providing the URL to Rumsfeld’s testimony about the threat from Iraq. It was very helpful in discussions that I subsequently had elsewhere, particularly at Lucianne.com where I posted excerpts from Rumsfeld’s testimony & was able to FINALLY spread the “meme” about the combination of firm past experience & then-present uncertainties that the US faced, something that was always obvious in Bush’s famous 2003 SotU quote. Thank you, SteveMG, if you’re around!

Posted by: ForNow at October 24, 2003 at 01:38 PM

Carsticker #1: "Mahathir is Malay for Masturbator".
Carsticker #2: "Somare is Pidgin for 'licks Malay ass' ".
Now, I've got that out of my system, I can go back to smashing my statues of the "so-called virgin mary".

Posted by: jimboy at October 26, 2003 at 08:05 PM

I had to share the good news with someone! Robert Hughes has apparently given up Australian citizenship! All Aussies can walk a bit taller and prouder todat!

Posted by: Hal at October 28, 2003 at 02:05 PM

Ridgebacks are the best dogs - being hounds, they're just great big noses on legs. I've got two - he's completely dopey, she's so smart it's scarey - either way, they're both adorable.

Posted by: vanessa at October 29, 2003 at 11:37 AM

Oh and ditto Wallace - returned to the world of the living from the undead (addiction) 11 years ago - still crazy but have husband, child and dogs to blame for it now.

Posted by: vanessa at October 29, 2003 at 11:41 AM

Labrador Retriever for all out "glad to you!" enthusiasm. Also handy for pulling out the pheasant you lost because you had to have one more "little warm-up" before going into the field and are now seeing twice as many upland gamebirds as are actually present. Good doggie!

ARkansas IS the capital of the free world. We just let Texas think they are. New motto: "Arkansas, it's Okay, the Clintons went to New York."

Posted by: Doc at November 4, 2003 at 02:18 AM