Tim Blair

Giving a hand-job to a bull - that's a new turn on!

The first job --on human flatulence -- is re-inventing the wheel. NASA had to do that work years ago to make certain farts in space suits were not toxic.

One image that will live with me to the day I die is me and my work mates watching as a dairy bull is led past a steer a couple of times before mounting followed by a guy with a very large apron and shoulder length gloves slip on a sperm-catcher (about a meter and a half long). The sperm was then taken away for treatment, as was the poor guy no doubt. That gets my vote for the worst science job.

Oh, in the same visit i was lucky enough to see in the flesh Daisy and Maisy, Australia's first successfully cloned calves. They had one head to a body each.

Check out some of these pictures of really crappy jobs.

No, Norm McDonald was right: the worst job is still Assistant Crack Whore.

hmm, a job for cartman when he gets out of south park...

I ran into a woman at a dinner party who worked at Sea World. Part of her job was to collect semen from killer whales. The male ones, obviously; they want it fresh. Anyway, I asked her how this was done (I admit I was curious how a 120-lb human female could bring a carnivore the size of an elephant off and survive the experience) and was rather unsettled to discover that the whales ejaculate on command. So I guess this doesn't make the list.