October 01, 2003


Boys aged over eight were to be banned. So were girls over 15 who weren’t of the approved sexual orientation. Where was this awful banning meant to take place? At Lesfest 2004 -- mentioned earlier here -- which has just lost its lesbian-only discrimination rights:

The tribunal decision made earlier this month had allowed organisers to advertise for only female-born lesbians to attend or work at the seven-day conference.

But the exemption was today overturned because the organisers had failed to notify the tribunal about a complaint.

The Australian WOMAN Network (AWN), a transsexual lobby group, had applied to revoke the exemption because the term "female-born" was offensive.

The exemption would have ensured even caterers were lesbians.

Hmm. How would they have proved it?

Posted by Tim Blair at October 1, 2003 03:36 AM

How would they have proved it?

I'd be interested in the answer to that question myself.

Very interested.

[drooling and gurgling noises]

Posted by: Tongue Boy at October 1, 2003 at 04:03 AM

How would they have proved it?

You mean they don't have fast-pitch softball in Oz?

Posted by: iowahawk at October 1, 2003 at 04:17 AM

But what about the male-born lesbians? Think of the male-born lesbians!

Posted by: scott h. at October 1, 2003 at 04:34 AM

Whats a lesbian?

Posted by: Jonny at October 1, 2003 at 05:36 AM
Whats a lesbian?
It's what people become if they lick carpets.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Posted by: Tatterdemalian at October 1, 2003 at 05:44 AM

From Stripes, one of the funnier movies of the 80s:

Army Recruiting Officer: "Are either of you men homosexual?"

Harold Ramis (after a long pause): "No...but we are willing to learn."

Bill Murray: "Yeah, would they send us someplace special?"

Posted by: Jerry at October 1, 2003 at 05:59 AM

To find out, just ask to sample the fish.

Posted by: Jake D at October 1, 2003 at 08:13 AM

Ho Ho Ho. So thousands of taxpayers' hard earned dollars are thhrown away on spats between lesbians and transsexuals. What a waste of time all this anti-discriminaton bollocks is! All it does is providew useless, overpaid, soft jobs for soppy mebers of the middle classes. All anti-discrimination laws should be repealed forthwith.

Posted by: Toryhere at October 1, 2003 at 08:37 AM

Work for more taxpayer kept `therapists':`healing the meantal scars and diseases' brought on by the oppressive patriarchal decision to `disallow the
exemption' and the subsequent `collective' breakdown. Oh, dear, must get out the tissues, a fear a heavy fit of guffawing coming on .

Damned annoying,you can claim a disease which is mystical and so stick your hand out for your very own therapist. What I want is,to over-come one of the social injustices and inequities of Australia: I want tax funding to keep a smal army of servants: they can live in the garden shed.I'm sure the femmo nazis will make very good scrubbing servants - only a few up front floggings needed to make them work.

I reckon it's an election winner: free servants for overtaxed earners.Yay.

Posted by: d at October 1, 2003 at 09:30 AM

Do you have any idea how hard it is being a lesbian trapped in a man's body?

Posted by: Pig Head Sucker at October 1, 2003 at 10:33 AM

So transsexuals trump lesbians in the who's allowed to discriminate against whom pecking order. Does anyone trump transsexuals?

Posted by: Mark Richardson at October 1, 2003 at 10:56 AM

The program was going to include workshopping the female-born issue, while the trannies provided a drag show as the entertainment.

Posted by: Max at October 1, 2003 at 11:18 AM

"Does anyone trump transsexuals?"

Transsexuals who have decided they don't like either sex and are having problems figuring out what sex to become next? They're in the process of inventing a new sex.

Posted by: Chris Josephson at October 1, 2003 at 11:22 AM

"Does anyone trump transsexuals?"

Only once. And I was drunk.

Posted by: Bruce at October 1, 2003 at 11:23 AM

"a transsexual lobby group, had applied to revoke the exemption because the term "female-born" was offensive. "

Oh. My. Gosh. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Posted by: James at October 1, 2003 at 11:49 AM

If a woman turns up wearing cricket or hockey clothes is it assumed she's a lesbian?

Posted by: Mike Hunt at October 1, 2003 at 11:53 AM

Sisters! We have already begun to organise on bahalf of all wimmin to bring equity to this femo-phobic decision by phallocentric officialdom!
Here is our answer!
Further affirmative action is planned at our womb-empowering website!

Posted by: Millie Tant at October 1, 2003 at 11:54 AM

"[The LesFest spokeswoman] said the homosexual community was diverse and transsexuals had the right to celebrate their own identity."

Well, you see, that's rather the point. As far as transsexuals are concerned, a "born-male" lesbian is a lesbian like any other. Therefore, not allowing them to participate in LesFest is not allowing them to celebrate their own diversity because they merely happened to be born with the wrong genitalia. Might as well say that Aboriginal lesbians can't come to LesFest, but should celebrate their diversity at their own events.

And, well, if you had gone through all the trouble of having your gonads removed, your penis turned inside-out, and your body filled with hormones, all at great expense, wouldn't you resent being told that you weren't a lesbian by somebody who got the appropriate genitalia merely by being born that way?

(Sure, yes, it's all insane. Except that the professional associations of psychiatrists no longer consider transsexuals insane.)

Posted by: Warmongering Lunatic at October 1, 2003 at 12:13 PM

On the issue of gender reassignment - this story was incredibly moving and deserves an award.

Mad props to the ABC for the consistently excellent Australian Story.

Posted by: Alex Hidell at October 1, 2003 at 12:32 PM

Reminds me of that classic old joke. What is the difference between a lesbian and a catfish?

One has big lips and whiskers, the other is a fish.

Posted by: Rob at October 1, 2003 at 12:40 PM

"Does anyone trump transsexuals?"


I'd love to see the debate on whether female-born males would be allowed in the male-only swimming pool or whether male-born female Muslims would be allowed at the female Muslim only gym.

Hmm. How would they have proved it?

Reminds me of "We encourage you to take advantage of the chamber maid".

Posted by: Andjam at October 1, 2003 at 12:45 PM

Reminds me of an old Freak Bros. comic:

"What's it do?"
"It turns you queer!"

"Well...what about women?"
It turns them queer too!"

("Hmmm...I thought they were already queer...")

Posted by: mojo at October 1, 2003 at 01:55 PM

Arabs aren't so particular: they'll trump male-born females or female-born males - but not in the swimming pool of course.

Posted by: Freddyboy at October 1, 2003 at 02:23 PM

So long as they are camels, Freddyboy. Rogering a best friend's camel is the towel headed buggerer about the town sport.And don't forget, when visiting, do as the natives do: to ensure this, indulge in some gymanstics training.

Posted by: d at October 1, 2003 at 03:09 PM

The great thing about rogering camels, d, is that it's a team sport requiring your mates to help: one to hold the camel's head to stop it biting you and another two to stop it from kicking you. In this regard donkeys are easier. I tried it in Turkey. We're talking about female animals of course - nothing queer about us.

Posted by: Freddyboy at October 1, 2003 at 03:37 PM

The third gender already exists, the Xanith of Oman.

Xanith are men who enjoy a passive homosexual role, and who earn their living as
entertainers and sex workers. They do NOT gender themselves as either male or female, they perform a third gender. Islam does not permit men to dress as women. Xanith may wear long pink shirts, pastel colors, tons or perfume, henna, kohl, will sit in feminine postures, perform feminine mannerisms, and cultivate a high or falsetto voice. (This is like Boy George, or Freddy Mercury, NOT like a drag queen).


Posted by: S Whiplash at October 1, 2003 at 04:18 PM

As that great Australian cultural commentator, Rodney Rude says "There's nothing those lesos do that I wouldn't do. I'm a leso in a man's body trendsetters!"

Posted by: Yobbo at October 1, 2003 at 06:16 PM

TMI, Freddyboy.

The Xanith? Isn't that an imaginary world that was the setting for a series of Roger Zelazny novels?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at October 1, 2003 at 09:02 PM

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
One to change the bulb, and nine to workshop the long term effects of the aggressive intrusion on the socket.
For all our American friends, down here we also affectionately call dykes 'tongue and groovers'. You know...as in flooring..floorboards, you have floorboards ?....ah, forget it.

Posted by: Jafa at October 1, 2003 at 11:40 PM

P.S. What ever happened to Rodney Rude anyway ? Last year a cabbie told me he'd just picked up the Rodster and Margo Kingston and taken them to Karoake bar.
Rodney Rude rules !

Posted by: Jafa at October 1, 2003 at 11:47 PM

The Xanith? Isn't that an imaginary world that was the setting for a series of Roger Zelazny novels?

I think you may mean Xanth and Piers Anthony (who also wrote the book "Total Recall", made into a movie featuring Arnie)

Posted by: Andjam at October 1, 2003 at 11:53 PM

I thought Philip K. Dick wrote the story made into "Total Recall". The story has all his hallmarks: police mystery, identity issues central to the plot, see "Blade Runner" and "Minority Report".

Posted by: Tongue Boy at October 2, 2003 at 12:18 AM

Piers Anthony writes about Xanth, a magic penninsula that looks a lot like Florida.

Philip K. Dick did write Total Recall (As "We can remember it for you Wholesale"). Anthony wrote the novelization of the screen play.

Zelazny wrote about Amber, which is the Archtype of all worlds. I happen to be rereading it, so all this is fresh in my mind.

Posted by: Dan at October 2, 2003 at 01:12 AM

I'm tongue-tied. And apparently, so are the lesbians.

Posted by: Steve at October 2, 2003 at 05:00 AM

Freddyboy, I reckon we have the best seller tourist handy tips guidebook for all countries roughed out in schema. Chapters 2-14 Rogering
15-35 Don'ts, 35 -198 DO's , c.1 -non -judgemental, diversity avowing summary of why do it.

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