September 05, 2003
GATHER A MOB! FETCH THE TORCHES!
These people must be stopped:
Researchers at the Integrated Media Systems Center have devised a number of studies to classify and quantify characteristic facial combinations. Once the movement that makes up a person's emotional state is defined, filmmakers will be able to apply an entire set of actions with one keystroke rather than arching a character's eyebrow or flaring a nostril individually.
The center has created several projects to help identify those physical traits. In one, researchers use photos to measure the distance between points on a face. By overlaying the distances found on one face onto another, the computer can create a caricature of the second person that incorporates the features of the first. For example, Michael Jackson's face could be overlaid with the essence of the filmmaker Michael Moore's, creating a Mooreish-looking Jackson.
Of all the examples they could have possibly used, they chose that?
(Via reader John N. in New Orleans.)
Posted by Tim Blair at September 5, 2003 12:50 PMMy gawd.
That's it - I'm joining up with al-Qaeda and that tall guy.
Must be some obscure biblical reference to this indicating the coming apocalypse.
SMG
Posted by: SteveMG at September 5, 2003 at 12:59 PMOld Everest-arse could really put the moon into moon-dance.
Posted by: slatts at September 5, 2003 at 12:59 PMCould be worse. They could produce a Jackson-ish looking Moore.
Posted by: timks at September 5, 2003 at 01:05 PMGrotesque + Grotesque = Even Mo(o)re Grotesque
Posted by: Old Grouch at September 5, 2003 at 01:09 PMWhat if thet just grafted Mikey's head onto Jacko's body? It would look like an oversize baby's rattle.
Posted by: Habib Bickford at September 5, 2003 at 02:02 PMDear God! How the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight with that ghastly image stuck in my head?
Posted by: Conrad at September 5, 2003 at 02:28 PM"Michael Jackson's face could be overlaid with the essence of the filmmaker Michael Moore's, creating a Mooreish-looking Jackson."
Would that give you a pervert that you don't even trust to make films for your children?
for once in your life you refrained from making a fat joke. i'm proud of you, tim.
Posted by: adam at September 5, 2003 at 04:14 PMI didn't madam.
By the way Tim, linking to sites that require you to sign up/pay etc is a pain in the arse. If it's that good please reproduce.
Michael Moore is REALLY REALLY FAT!. How fat is he? When he sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house.
The link was free only a few hours ago, Jake. As free as the millions of lard molecules floating in Michael Moore's aorta!
The NY Times only allows unregistered access to individual stories for a day or so.
Posted by: tim at September 5, 2003 at 05:41 PMThis could be a boon for michael jackson. As I understand the situation it has been quite some time since he looked moorish....
Posted by: Dave at September 6, 2003 at 12:41 AM"The new device, which Mr. Edison has named the 'electrical light bulb,' has several applications. For example, they could be forcibly crammed up one's anus with a rusty screwdriver."
- New York Times, 1874
"The marvelous new flying contraption recently demonstrated by the Wright brothers of Ohio offers a glimpse into an intriguing future. For example, one imagines future-men using its fanciful 'propeller' to mutilate small animals, and so forth."
- New York Times 1903
Posted by: iowahawk at September 6, 2003 at 01:26 AM"Crick and Watson's discovery of 'DNA' bodes a fascinating path for science. For example, laboratory researchers in the not-to-distant future will be busily creating monkeys with four or five separate assholes, or dogs with asshole-eyes. Perhaps man will eventually achieve his age-old dream of a gigantic creature made entirely out of assholes. The possibilities are breathtaking."
-- New York Times, 1947
"Grok make round thing call 'wheel'. Wheel good. For example, drop on foot make blood-paint."
-- New York Times, 16,000 B.C.
Posted by: iowahawk at September 6, 2003 at 03:11 AMIt's been done:
http://www.concertphotos.com/sthruz/yankovicweirdal.JPG
Posted by: JFT at September 6, 2003 at 03:14 AMhttp://www.al-oholicsanonymous.com/pix//vidclips/fat6.jpg
Posted by: JFT at September 6, 2003 at 04:15 AMOf course, Jackson at one time (long ago) was himself a Moorish-looking Jackson.
(Think about it before you accuse me of misspelling "Moorish")
:-p
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut at September 6, 2003 at 05:00 AMYa know, Michael Jackson used to a Moor (in the Shakespearean sense), but now he's a white woman. My how times change...
Posted by: Rocketplumber at September 6, 2003 at 09:46 AMThey chose the Michael Jackson/ Michael Moore combination just for you, Tim. You know they chose it just for you.
Posted by: m at September 6, 2003 at 10:32 AMLay off Michael Jackson. Only in America could a poor black kid grow up to be a rich white lady.
Posted by: Dan97526 at September 7, 2003 at 06:14 AM