Tim Blair

And I quote from the book of Leary:

"There's a guy- I don't know if you've heard about this guy, he's been on the news a lot lately. There's a guy- he's English, I don't think we should hold that against him, but apparently this is just his life's dream because he is going from country to country. He has a senate hearing in this country coming up in a couple of weeks. And this is what he wants to do. He wants to make the warnings on the packs bigger. Yeah! He wants the whole front of the pack to be the warning. Like the problem is we just haven't noticed yet. Right? Like he's going to get his way and all of the sudden smokers around the world are going to be going, "Yeah, Bill, I've got some cigarettes.. HOLY SHIT! These things are bad for you! Shit, I thought they were good for you! I thought they had Vitamin C in them and stuff!" You fucking dolt! Doesn't matter how big the warnings are. You could have cigarettes that were called the warnings. You could have cigarrets that come in a black pack, with a skull and a cross bone on the front, called tumors and smokers would be lined up around the block going, "I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up! Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm" Doesn't matter how big the warnings are or how much they cost. Keep raising the prices, we'll break into your houses to get the fucking cigarettes, ok!? There a drug, we're addicted, ok!? Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm *wheeze*"

Smoking shortens your cigarettes.

Tiny amounts of nicotine appear to increase muscle girth, decrease body weight, and reduce appetite. “Tiny Amounts of Nicotine Produce Startling Results in Endovasc Mouse Study,” Yahoo Financial News (www.yahoo.com), 6/2/03. I'm not holding my breath waiting for that headline to appear on any front page. Of course, no one can smoke just 3 or 4 cigarettes a day.....can they?

You're asking the wrong mouse.

Maybe we should make members of anti-smoking groups wear a sign, like:

Caution: this person contains dangerous levels of intolerance and a toxic inability to let smokers puff in peace.

On second thoughts, no. This sign would be much more to the point:

Contains Nuts

I find it hard to believe we have out grown - “Your smoking can harm others” – already.

Give it up. It'll kill you.

But you knew that, didn't you?

... and maybe smokers should be made to wear a sign:

News Flash: Everybody dies

Yeah, yeah. Some die quicker than others.

Hey -- check this out.
(Nothing in particular to do with smoking.) It works brilliant n'shit on this site.

Sick of being vilified by government bodies which are nonetheless happy to accept your overly generous tobacco tax contribution?

Make your own warning-free cigarette pack.

Sick of that hacking cough? Sick of your clothes, your hair and your house reeking of last night's dank smoke? Sick of paying out your ass for a pack of ciggies? Sick of wondering whether your death-wish is getting the upper hand? Sick of thinking about throat cancer, cancer of the tongue, lung cancer, arteriosclerosis, emphysema and heart disease?

I sure got sick of it.

PS -- I can recommend the patches. (Amcal's were the cheapest when I did this a couple of years ago.) I was a smoker for 25 years, and I only had a couple of days of feeling as weird and itchy as all that. (Also felt slightly intoxicated -- more oxygen in the brain than I was used to.) Inspired by my very ordinary example, my mo-in-law did the same after 45 years. Drink your beer, have a toke. It doesn't matter that much. But it's the thing you do thirty times a day that's going to fuck you up.

Yours sincerely. Give it the flick.

I find eating copious amounts of nicotine lozenges does the trick, no shortness of breath, no skanky clothes yet all the benefits of nicotine.

Buy my Liberty Labels.

It's so simple - put a label on the packet saying that the tobacco has been "GENETICALLY MODIFIED"

If the greenies are right about this and the public are so behind them smoking will stop overnight.

Yep, smoking. The true lean cusine. Just add fire.

Cigarettes are disgusting. I'd rather get outside a big fat Hoyo De Monterrey Double Corona anyday.

I'm so sick and tired of being bashed over the head by people who 'are concerned'. How much more warning can they give about smoking? Will they require someone watch a 10 min. video and sign a form before purchasing some smokes?

For me, the anti-smoking campaign has had quite the opposite impact in that I destest the 'do gooders' so much I will keep smoking!

Brian J. "You could have cigarrets that come in a black pack, with a skull and a cross bone on the front"

I actually bought a pack of exactly that appearance here in the US (plus a top-hat on the skull), but I lost it. I thought it was hilarious...

------

Actually, if this passes, the next step will be to sell them in plain paper wrappers so kids won't see the horrible pictures and warnings.

"For me, the anti-smoking campaign has had quite the opposite impact in that I destest the 'do gooders' so much I will keep smoking."

Yeah! Right on! That'll show em! You'll be the 108,474,924th martyr for the cause. I hope there's 72 unopened packs of Malboros waiting for you upstairs. :P

I don't smoke, but here in England all cigarette packets now have the bottom half whited-out with 'SMOKING KILLS' in big black letters. Plans are well advanced to follow up this insight with the following new campaigns;

'Water is wet'
'Ice is cold'
'Steak-knives are sharp'

We used to have skull-and-crossbones cigarettes over here, too: the subtly-named 'Death' brand. My brother used to smoke 'em and here's a picture.

Stupidest warning ever. Ever.

On a pack of Sainsbury's peanuts:

WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

I suggest the old joke "shocking" cigarette case that gave you a jolt of about 50,000 volts more or less. Whooohoo was that funny. Anyway, the government should require all packs be packaged in these. It will not only save all of us that are too stupid to live our lives properly but will revive an industry that surely needs help.

Then I suggest a revival of the old cigarette loads that explode when lit. But the problem with the old loads was that they only blew off the tobacco portion of the cigarette and occasionally resulted in loss of bladder control. If the government were to require that such loads, only stronger, be installed in the filter the resulting explosions could hopefully cause actual injury and perhaps loss of the user's lips. And the loss of organ control could perhaps extend beyond the bladder. Who wants to risk soiling their britches?

That would teach us bastards to behave ourselves.

"Yeah! Right on! That'll show em! You'll be the 108,474,924th martyr for the cause. I hope there's 72 unopened packs of Malboros waiting for you upstairs. :P"

I know that smoking is bad for one's health. You'd have to be brain dead not to realize this. However, once someone knows that a certain activity has risks, leave them alone to take the risks. Don't keep droning on and on. Eventually, all you'll be doing is "preaching to the choir". The people who should listen, won't.

I've had relatives who lived into their 90's who smoked all their lives. Now, I'm not saying that's an excuse to ignore the health warnings but the health risk isn't 100%.