Tim Blair

Yeah, all the "white" Americans I know just wake up in cold sweats after nightmares of all those African-Americans™ in Rolexes marching down Biscayne Boulevard. My (ex) home town paper occasionally attempts to get "edgy" like this, and produces columnists like this McDonnell person, who invariably emit gaseous pronouncements like this. I wonder what Ms. McDonnell would think of my black coworkers who hated rap. (They called it "crap," and were more inclined to listen to R&B crooners like Luther Vandross or real soul music, and had no time for the profanity-laced drivel that comprises about 95% of the fashionable genre.)

This isn't the first time I've heard something like this. Niles Rogers, the famous disco-era music producer, said in a TV interview that people who didn't like disco were racists.

Neither Rogers nor McDonnell allow for individual taste in music.

Tim, you have any disco CDs in your car? You're not off the hook yet.

(Rogers or Rodgers, sp.)

Yeah, sure, I'm a racist because I think hip-hop is culturally worthless drivel. But I hate Eminem more than most hip-hoppers, and he's white. And I love (among others) blues, Tamla Motown and, yes, disco, which are all prime examples of black music.

It's inconceivable to this doofus that not ecstatically worshipping each and every emanation of black culture doesn't mean I'm fit only to be draped in a white sheet at a Klan rally.

I'm white and I have a reaction to seeing rappers with Rolexes in Rolls-Royces, but it's not anxiety.

Let's put it this way, it's the same one I had to Donald and Ivana Trump's plastic-coated hair, and to the Saudi prince in Beverly Hills who had the pink flesh and black pubic hair painted on his Michelangelo reproductions back in the 70s, and to that yellow jumpsuit Ron O'Neal wears in Superfly that's tight enough to define the precise contours of each testicle, and to Madonna's English awkcent, and...

I have no problem with this columnist reviewing hip-hop, I would just suggest she file it under something other than "music."

And the rant against Condi Rice was just sickening; apparently the writer is NOT aware that a Director of a Corporation in the US is NOT an employee at all. What a dreadful site that place is where the author spewed forth his hatred.

How many white people did she talk to to get that statement on their alleged anxieties? Personally, nothing makes me happier than seeing wealthy black people, because eventually, they're going to wind up Republicans. It's like when Charles Barkley's mom berated him for registering Republican, because "that's the party of rich people," and Charles replied, "Mom, I am rich people."

I think "black America" will take a couple more generations to realize that most of "white America" doesn't give a shit. Anyway this editorial just reinforces what a black(!) friend once told me: "Most black people are more racist than the white people I've met."

Also, her comparison to jazz in the 50s makes me think she knows nothing about jazz.

But, of course, I doubt she'd ever consider that opinions are as they are because of the number of gun deaths and violence in the rap community! And the frequent obscenity of rap lyrics. No, the answer couldn't have anything to do with reality!

Are people that hate boy-bands Homophobic?

MTV, Hollywood, and the left have sold black urban rap culture to America's youth as the American fun culture. Truth be known it is mysognist, violent, status driven, and envious of wealth and not the real black American experience. It's made up to sell, and kids in America have bought into it completely. I don't listen to most rap because most rap is shit just like most metal is shit. And a lot of people will buy shit if someone tells them it's kewl. And that's just it I believe what the music industry, the left, and Hollywood really mean is that if you don't "buy" black urban culture your a racist.

Eminem had to wrap himself in that culture to sell records, because let's face it folks, he couldn't make it as a white guy. Interesting.

This blogcommentary now has rap lyrics, so we're good:

Wooah, Louis Vuitton never made a sweatsuit
But you're swearin' up and down, that you got the Louie boots
So you roll to the swap meet, girlfriend buttless
Rip phantom top on your seven six Cutlass
In the shop Louis Vee is what you seek
Black Knight Cortez slippin' on your feet
You're saggin', droop like a bawla
Your girl starts walkin' towards the counter, so you call her
Oooh, this is on. Why don't you get this for me?
Everytime you hit the swap meet, it's gimme, gimme, gimme.
A little old lady in the back starts to creep, she's deep
Through cazelley's she peeks
Her name is Mary Pong and she's got it going on
Swap meet weed, with the swap meet thongs
Leather miniskirt with the oriental draw
Little Mary Pong is RAW
She says "I wanna make your girlfriend look good"
Start buying all your Louie in the hood
And your sprung, on the two for one
Fake Louie at the swap meet, son
Now you know brown Louie is played
But you're drunk and you just got paid
So you bought the gear, little Mary says "See ya"
Little did you know it was "Made in Korea?"

Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
That's right, tell em homeys
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
Right here baby
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
What you need?
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
You don't know jack about this Louie

Victim number two, a rich young couple from Bellvue
Welcome to the swap meet, another dumb couple 'bout to get beat
Out came little Mary Pong, she had the big Louie Vee gear on
The couple got sprung and the wife want some
Louie Vee hat with the diamonds
Shes thinkin' she got that deal, 2 for 1 is a steal
The hat mighta had a L V on the back
But at the swap meet that ain't jack
But she bought it, cost about three hun
Mary Pong said you're the one
But when the girls Louie got wet she started complainin'
Baby girls Louie started fadin'
Now she's tryin' to take it back
But the swap meet don't play that
Cause when a customer tries to intimidate
Mary Pong pulls a .38
She ain't about to get bum rushed
She's strapped an' she's ready to bust
But at the swap meet you don't pay tax
They're movin' out fake Louie by the batch

Swap Meet Louie, clockin' lotsa dolla's
Swap Meet Louie, we all got gold
Swap Meet Louie, black silk jackets
Swap Meet Louie, rich flaunt clout
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie

Me an' Attitude Adjuster stepped smooth at a swap meet
Buyin' much gear for the feet
When we spot Mary Pong with a blank face
Sellin' bootleg Mixalot tapes
The brother bought the tape and kept steppin'
Mary Pong starts lookin' for a weapon
I got a plan 'n' I'm about to use it
What's up with the bootleg music?
Mary Pong is about to get jacked
She had a stack of big bootleg racks
Me and Attitude creeped like snakes
Grabbed the tapes and the Louie and break
The whole swap meet went crazy
I'm sockin' more fools than Patrick Swayze
Toss a mess of fake Louie in the trunk
Hit the gas and the tach just sunk
Like that, I'm outta there
Swift brothers like to roll in pairs
So we jet, to the boulevard fast
Slingin' swap meet Louie for cash

Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
That's right, tell em homeys
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
Right here baby
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
What you need?
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
You don't know jack about this Louie

Great comments, I especially agree with:

MommaBear
ilyka
infamouse

And that's a bunch of "Barbra Striesand" that ALL Republicans are rich...I really wish the RICH Liberals out there would come up with a new line...

We had a friend, while in the Navy, when they came to get his opinion on what he wanted to eat during "Black History Month," he suggested steak and lobster be served every day...that to him was "soul" food.

I finally found her email address: mailto:emcdonnell@herald.com

Fire away!

>>"Are people that hate boy-bands Homophobic?"

In a word, yes. You need to learn to embrace your inner child, fondle him, touch him in his private places...

A Rolex is nothing more than decoration. I can buy a digital watch at Kmart that will outperform a Rolex in EVERY department except looking flashy for under $99

A Rolls Royce drives like a freakin' tank, the best way to enjoy one is to have a chauffer. But a good Caddy limo (not a stretch) is at least as comfortable, and costs less than a 10th as much.

I'm hangin' wi' my homies, here in the 'hood,
Wearing my bling and pullin' my pud,
Any you honkies think I got no class,
I get in my 320 an put a cap in yo' ass;

I love wearing my hat back the front,
'Cos I'm a stupid fuckin' cunt,
An' tho' I aint' no ghetto nigga,
I act like one 'cos it make my dick bigga.

You want Hall & Oates back?

I can arrange it for you.

Announcing the I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) Reloaded Tour.

Free tickets for all of you. Your names are on the door and your kiss is on my list.

Enjoy.

Oh hi, Eminem, they're gone. Come out from that wardrobe.

Perhaps haters of boy bands should have a support group.

"Hi I am Darlene and I have a boy band problem".

The first step in the twelve step program being force fed Boyzone, Westlake etc for a week". With no more sense of taste within a year you should be able to move on to the girl groups (but pray not those girls who sing that song about loving horses).

Anyone who takes seriously somebody's suggestion that you must be a racist cause you don't like rap probably deserves a support group of their own.

www.geocities.com/darls_2at/nanabour_branch_alp_meeting.html

"Nothing arouses white America's anxieties...."

As a white American, I have to say that I'm considerably more anxious about our troops in Iraq, the dolts at Homeland Security, and the Creeping Charlie in my back yard than I am about what nouveau riche black people choose to waste their money on.

(Oh, and um, Creeping Charlie is a weed, not a stealthy guy in black pajamas.)

What complete and utter BS. No matter the skin color, I think anyone who wastes money on a Rolex is just pretentious.

I would like to know how she knows the skin color of people who write to her about rap lyrics.

This reminds me of a debate on some stupid show on VH1 between Bruce Dickenson (singer for Iron Maiden) and KD Lange. Lange went on and on about how "important" and "relevant" hip-hop music was, and Dickenson kept asking her "yes, but do you actually LIKE it?" which Lange pointedly refused to say.

Question to anyone who genuinely likes hip-hop: are you more annoyed by somebody who doesn't like it and says so (Dickenson), or by someone who doesn't listen to it and doesn't know a thing about it but pretends he or she does (Lange)?

I like it.

I'm not annoyed by people who don't like it, whether they listen to it or not.

I am annoyed when I hear some crap song from 1976 that I've heard seventy billion times before in my life.

Am I a racist if I watch Fat Pizza on SBS and think it is screamingly hilarious? Or am I identifying with the immigrant culture?

Habib Bickford, are you related to Habib in Fat Pizza?

Allah Akbar Alf Alfa

He's my 'bro. The rest of the cast are my cousins as well, even the wogs. Steve Bracks is my uncle, 'innie?