July 29, 2003
'DOZER DON'T SCAN
The Centre for Political Song just couldn’t work out a way to fit “bulldozer” into this Rachel Corrie anthem:
I wish I could look into your hardened eyes,
who drove that tractor as young Rachel dies
Is there love in your tractor, of fifty-two tons
is hope and desire in your tanks or your guns
If she could be with us, Rachel Corrie would say ...
Umm ... “If you see a bulldozer, get out of the way”?
Posted by Tim Blair at July 29, 2003 04:41 AM
But dozer rhymes so easily with hoser and poser.
Is there love in your tractor, O cruel Farmer Brown?
Do you feel no pity as you cut your hay down?
Is the IDF silo filled with wheat, or hate?
Did you leave your compassion by the chicken coop gate?
And what of Mrs. Brown cooling her pies
On the windowsill as hope for Gaza dies?
Is the 52 tons of your husband’s fell tractor
A weight that your cold Israeli heart can factor?
Ohhhhh, Jimmie crack corn, and I don't care,
Rachel's gone to God knows where,
If you see a dozer you best bewaaarrrreee,
And get the hell outta the way.
And now the end is near
Because I face a big bulldozer
That guy who's got the keys
He doesn't stop 'cause he's a hoser....
Haiku for Rachel
"Don’t you know dozers
Make mere humans flat and dead?
Not like in cartoons."
"If Rachel Corrie could be with us she'd say, 'Shit, damn, Hell that hurts!! Ouch, ouch, ouch. Jeebus damn that hurts.'
Once upon a pile of rubble, in a self important bubble,
A gal named Rachel boldly stood for Palestine’s cause.
When the Jews, they came a’crashing. Several buildings they were smashing,
And terrorist tunnels they were trashing, even though they’d surely pause.
I’m an American, she thought, and I know they’ll surely pause.
I’m sure they will, just because.
So she stood there, bravely battened, never guessing she’d be flattened…
101 Uses For A Squished Hippie Chick
1. Flight deck wheel chocks for US aircraft carrier
2. Handy swifter for cleaning that hard-to-reach area under the refridgerator coils
3. Environmentally-friendly roofing material
4. Gym decorations for Evergreen State U. spring prom (theme: 'Enchantment Under The Treads')
5. Four-man toboggan at Zionist ski resort
6. Glue on some casters and voila! a dandy garage creeper crawler
There was a terror-lover called Corrie
who made a grave mistake for which she was sorry
She said "While in hell I burn,
the lesson I've learned
Is that its much more quick and painless with a lorry."
Hippies splatter mighty fine,
When you hit 'em with a D9-
I didn't mean her any harm,
She just didn't hear the reversing alarm.
Now I'm felling mighty sorry,
For running my dozer over Rachael Corrie,
Remorse I'm feeling to the max,
"Cause I've gotta clean her outa my tracks.
1. If you're looking into a bulldozer driver's eyes, you're standing too close.
2. It's "died" not "dies." Yes, it doesn't rhyme that way, but tough luck. "Dies" is just wrong.
3. If there'd been love, hope and despair in the tractor (bulldozer), it would have been even heavier, but not up to 52 tons. That's a Jenin-style number. A very quick google quotes Rachel's friends as saying the dozer weighed nine to 10 tons. Enough.
Bit like getting close and personal with Phillip Adams.
If Fat Boy gets the horn, does he have to charter a Kato crane?
(The crane driver would have to be paid danger money, and have a high quality blindfold and excellent earmuffs.)
ode to rachel, an earth-loving leftie who paid the ultimate price: being squashed by a large, noisy piece of agricultural machinery while protesting in a muddy field.
a fiat or a fergie?
a john deere or a case?
allis-chalmers, david brown
euclid or kobase?
new holland, caterpillar
kubota or a ford?
belarus or lagord?
haybaler, crusher, backhoe,
grader or bobcat?
it doesn’t really matter now
the poor young girl is flat
she have been misguided
with sadly misplaced zeal
but no-one deserves to be martyred
beneath a ‘dozer wheel.
If she was alive today she might say "Get me the F@#$ out of this box!!!".
Pro-Palestinian protest "peace" dingbat,
Gets in the road and gets squashed flat,
We're supposed to weep and wail,
Cause she was scooped up in a pail,
Sorry for nothing, flat-earth hippie,
I'm inclined to yell out yippie,
Your ideas ain't worth tuppence,
And you got your come-uppance.
And now here's the news at seven:
"Our little Rachel's gone to heaven,
Not to the other place and so she didn't
need no shoes.
She wasn't all that bad
Although it made Israelis mad,
For them Palis weren't doin' nothin'
'cept a-killin' of some Jews."
Rachel Corrie's dead and gone,
but the propaganda lingers on.
When media fools are full of bliss,
They spin her into a Heroine, and make me want to piss.
.... sung to the tune of Papa Hyden ....
T'was an 'activist' of confused mind
who had a bad run-in with a CAT D9
All medical help was nay-sayed
"She doesn't need any first aid!
"As a propoganda tool she'll do fine."
well, in the interest of bad taste:
if i had the wit or skill
of a famous old composer
i'd pen a paen to the kill
wrought by that bulldozer
oh sing, oh muse, of that bitter face
we saw burning up a flag
contrast the angel some would place
on that slippery pile of slag
oh behemoth of oil and steel
that flattened young miss corrie
cold hearted beast; but do you feel
you dug in the wrong quarry?
there're those who'll claim i'm cruel,
'tis true; but i haven't lionized her
nor cast the blame on sharon's tool
and cry they've zionized her
her death was sad, her life too brief
she did deserve much better
but have her 'friends' shown equal grief
for those in uday's shredder?
It's easy to play on the guitar. Every note is B-flat.
Oh hilarious, hey i've got one:
Hey is that a plane?
Seppos falling to their death
pour another wine....
You pathetic pieces of shit.
Dear Mr Sphincter
It is polite to excuse yourself after passing wind.
You are excused. Carry on.
Thanks raze, at least I refrained from following through.
Angus, pour another wine has 5 syllables, so good haiku closure material. I know it isn't very literary, but I just thought I'd evoke an image, of someone drinking to the artistry of 11/9... revelling in murder, as the pieces of shit on this page are doing.
Murder kids, it isn't really that funny....
murder? not at all. her death was an accident, caused in part by her hubris, in part by the bulldozer operator.
oh, hey, and thanks for expanding my vocabulary; i had to google 'seppos' to figure out what the hell you were talking about. geesh, we call the brits limeys (and i can't even think of a derogatory term for australians...except maybe olivia newton john) and we're septic tanks? must be cause we take all the world's shit...;)
To the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Rachel Corrie went to Palestine
to free the Arab mob,
burning flags and sleeping round
and acting like a yob.
She sought to save the pimps and punks
and generate a sob,
but a D-9 ended that.
Rachel Corrie got run over,
Rachel Corrie got run over,
Rachel Corrie got run over,
a D-9 ended that.
She climbed atop a mound of dirt
to stop the dreaded foe.
Her heart was full of hubris
her enemy named Moe.
The D-9 was large and loud
and so she turned to go
but a D-9 ended that.
Now Rachel lies flattened
beneath the Army tread.
Her pimps and pushers honor her
repeating what she said.
But nothing makes up for the fact
that she's really, really dead.
A D-9 ended that.
In honor of Rachel Corrie, all bulldozers should from now on be known as "Corrie Crushers".
"The Centre for Political Song exists to promote and foster an awareness of all forms of political song; an appreciation of the role of political song in the social, political and cultural life of communities; and to facilitate research in all relevant areas of study. The Centre itself will remain free from any political bias in its collecting and organisational policies."
shall we send them this thread and see if it they add it to their archives?
Ashes to Ashes
Rachel did hear that morning
After dozer stopped
"I know it isn't very literary"
Well, I suppose that's half the battle.