Tim Blair

Crickets? Tests? Wickets? Oh, this is that funny rugby-like football you Aussies play, right? I saw that at 2:00 AM the other night on ESPN 2.

Matthew Hayden to top score, Jason Gillespie to take the most wickets. If Aust bats first, bat out for two days (HG & Roy reckon they will try for 1,000 runs) and get up around the 500 mark, then bowl the Bangladeshis out twicw, trying to keep them under 100 per innings.
If Bangladesh bat first, they might last until tea today.
I don't think this is an Australian side that will take it easy on them because they're fledglings- they will be looking to crush the poor buggers.
(Who does Andy Bichel have to root to get a spot in the run-on side?)

Steve Waugh to not get a bat. Australia to declare at 2/550. Several lost balls as Matty Hayden goes beserk. Bangladesh out both innings for around 100. Several changes of underpants required in the Bangladesh change room after facing Brett Lee. Awful rendition of Khe Sanh to be sung in change rooms afterwards.

Brett Lee is enjoying himself at the moment!

Lokks like tea was a little optimistic- 5 for 56 off 25 overs. (I did detect a slight smirk on Waugh's kisser as he was describing how tough this series was going to be).

6 for 63 off less than 30- lunch, maybe?

I've resisted, until now, commenting, mainly becaus the questions seem an exercise in cruelty. Oh, what the heck.

Waugh makes a couple of centuries and the 1st eleven smithlicate Bangladesh.

Made it to lunch- 9 for 94; will they crack the ton?

Where are the 'compassionate' types when the Bangladeshis need them?

Bangladesh 9 for 97 as I type.

Precisely the reason for my hestitation,Scott. Too rummy for my taste.

I'm thinking that a large number of people will be drunk by the time it's over.

That's me buggered; Matt Hayden gone for 11. Australia is in deep trouble now.

"Darwin Test Match?"
Um... survival of the fittest? They keep going until one team or the other evolves into a baseball team?

Sorry wonderduck, I think the word you were looking for there was devolve into a baseball team.

I can't remember who said it but when describing the difference between Cricket and Baseball, they said that Baseball was just like Cricket, for those with a three-year old's attention span.

When you yanks grow up, we may let you play with the under 12 girl's teams, provided they let you use your little gloves to catch the ball and not hurt your little hands. ;-)

I think a quote from Homer Simpson sums up baseball: Homer in the bleachers, having gone off the piss for a month, and surrounded by drunks; "I never realised how boring this game is". Anything that can go for nine innings without a point being scored makes the worst test match look like the Indy 500.
(Aust 2 for 72 off 29 overs- the Devils from Dacca are puting up a bit of a show).

2/121 at stumps not exactly the expected runfest. Must be a shithouse wicket, or those wily East Pakistanis can bowl a bit.

Paul - caught the first few overs of the Australian innings. Wicket looked a little slow. Wasn't a lot of sideways movement, but the deck had good grass cover, so the ball was staying shiny. The seamers were putting the ball in the right spot (albeit at about 125 kph).

And you should get yourself to a MLB baseball game with someone who knows a bit about the game. It's the finest sports experience there is.

Being a Bangladeshi, I am trying to be realistic here.

Match Prediction:
Aussies - 350 odds (1st Innings)
Bangladesh - 200 odds (2nd Innings)
Innings Defeat

We are honored to play the Aussies- the current best cricket team in the world. We hope to learn many things from this tour by trying to show some competition and expect guidance from the Aussies. We hope that in the next 10-20 years we can take us up to a competitive standard when we will not be bullied by others.

If you have any reservation about awarding us a place among test playing nations, blame ICC. Don't blame our dreams. Because without dream human beings cannot live.

Paul, we are not East Pakistanis any more. We gained Independence from Pakistan in 1971.

Best luck to the Aussies. Thanks. I enjoyed your comments. They sounded better than David Hook's predictions (Hope I spelled him correctly).

Gilly to go in next!

Some clever Bangladeshi bowling, especially in the opening 20 overs. By the way, Rezwan's attitude rocks; for Bangladesh, this is like Australia taking on Italy in soccer.

Far out Tim, you got a global audience and a half!

Rezwan- think Sri Lanka... also develop a first class competition at home and just work hard.

5{ar timetable is about right, too. Remember the 1975 World Cup, when Jeff Thomson sent half the Sri Lankan team to hospital? Two decades later Sri Lanka defeated us in a World Cup final.

(Thomson once told me about catching up with one of his 1975 victims a few years ago in Colombo. The guy now runs a jewellery store or something, and when Thommo found out where it was he showed up unannounced and put on the full psycho fast-bowler act: "Hello. Remember meeeee?" Much hilarity ensued.)

I have no objection to Bangladesh's test status at all. I think that the 20 tests or so they have played in two years are too many, and I blame the ICC for this, but the test status itself is fine with me. Bangladesh should be playing two or three tests a year. Once they start doing better in those two or three, then the number they play should gradually expand. Bangladesh should be playing Australia, but in a one off test.

If people like Rezwan are enjoying it, I am delighted. (It is "David Hookes" by the way).

Just as another observation, David Hookes' only test century was in Kandy in 1982-3 in Australia's first ever match against Sri Lanka. At the time, Sri Lanka were the easybeats of world cricket, and Australia won the game by an innings and 38 runs, losing only four wickets in the match (one of the lowest numbers in all tests). At the time, Sri Lanka's batting was somewhat better than Bangladesh's is today, but their bowling was dreadful. If it weren't for weak opposition, Hookes wouldn't be a test centurian.

God, I just want to smash those Paki bastards eh fellas, beers, smokos, wrapping ourselves up in flags.... You little Beauuuuuudy!

Match update:

Australia: 407/7 decl. with 15 overs remaining on the 2nd Day

Bangladesh: 26/1 in 9 overs

Bangladesh is carrying over the match to the next day. Looks like spectators can go home after lunch tomorrow. I wish if Bangladesh could entertain them somehow.

Congrats to Steve Waugh for becoming the second player (after G Kirsten of South Africa) to score a century against the nine other Test playing countries. He truely is a great player with performance and attitude.

Today morning saw a headline in The Daily Independent - "David Hookes eats his words". There were also calculations showing how vague his prediction of ending the test match in one day. I think he did it to catch media's attention.

And thanks Tim for welcoming me. Thanks to Michael for the encouragements.