June 21, 2003

CHOMSKY TRAPPED IN A COMEDIAN'S BODY

David Schwimmer returned to his old university, but everybody treated the tormented philosopher as though he was just some idiot from a sitcom or something:

His brow furrowing, he starts to talk about the years immediately following his Beverly Hills adolescence as the offspring of highly successful and intensely left-wing Los Angeles lawyers.

The couple had sent their well-disciplined son to Hebrew school and Beverly Hills High, and instilled in him a mix of progressive ideas, artistic taste, social responsibility and driving ambition.

"I was a walking contradiction," Schwimmer says of his student years in Evanston, his voice making the briefly falsetto cracking sound familiar to his millions of television fans. "Was I a conquering capitalist or a socialist activist?"

"I still don't know," he says, his voice trailing off.

Schwimmer looks up from the podium at a sea of star-struck young eyes. Consciously or not, he's brought up the central dilemma of his entire young life.

Sadly, no one in the room seems to care. "Did you ever have a crush on Jennifer Aniston?" asks a student.

This casual, unintended deflation of the pompous actor is funnier than any episode of Friends. It might be Schwimmer’s crowning comic moment - and he was the straight man.

(Via Throwing Things, who linked to this when it was fresh and new.)

Posted by Tim Blair at June 21, 2003 02:51 AM
Comments

Oh, dear lord, what a jackass. I don't even know where to begin with this, other than to say that hyper-wealthy socialists should not be allowed to breed. Dammit, John Ashcroft, wake up and get to work!

As a Chicagoan, I feel compelled to apologize to everyone for both Studs Turkel and "Ross," even if "Ross" only went to school in one of our northern suburbs. I am thoroughly embarrassed by this. Really, I am so, so sorry.

Posted by: Chicago Ed at June 21, 2003 at 03:24 AM

Oh, dear lord, what a jackass. I don't even know where to begin with this, other than to say that hyper-wealthy socialists should not be allowed to breed. Dammit, John Ashcroft, wake up and get to work!

As a Chicagoan, I feel compelled to apologize to everyone for both Studs Turkel and "Ross," even if "Ross" only went to school in one of our northern suburbs. I am thoroughly embarrassed by this. Really, I am so, so sorry.

Posted by: Chicago Ed at June 21, 2003 at 03:25 AM

Classic. Didn't he threaten to walk after the show's first season if they dind't get rid of the monkey they were making him do most of his scenes with?

Posted by: Bill Herbert at June 21, 2003 at 04:53 AM

David Schwimmer in Band of Brothers as the hard task training sargent at boot camp was probably the worst casting that I have ever seen.....

Posted by: James Dudek at June 21, 2003 at 04:54 AM

Don't miss the part where Studs Terkel blathers about how Schwimmer still has an opportunity to make up for selling out by doing art for the people, or some such Barton Fink shit. I guess we can forgive an 80-year-old for having attitudes that stopped evolving in 1937, but Schwimmer is just a (very rich) schlemiel... rather than beat Ross into the grave in increasingly lamer movies, he should go away until he's shockingly fat and grizzled, and amaze everyone with a career-reviving performance as a really nasty hitman in some Tarantino of 2020's debut feature.

Posted by: Mike G at June 21, 2003 at 05:00 AM

From the article:
"You would have thought they would have taken advantage of an opportunity like that. I was so disappointed in the level of stupidity of the questions."

Man, they had a chance for a serious philosophical debate with David F'ing Schwimmer, and the morons blew it. Bet they wouldn't pull that crap with Joey.

Posted by: Sean E at June 21, 2003 at 05:01 AM

Bill, re: getting rid of the monkey on "Friends." My understanding was that he was unhappy not only because the monkey was upstaging him, but it was a better actor, was getting more fan mail, and was more popular with the chicks. (Sample fan mail quote, "He's a real animal.")

Posted by: JorgXMcKie at June 21, 2003 at 05:41 AM

I thought in "Band of Brothers" the character he was supposed to be playing was supposed to be inept or a lousy leader. (I haven't seen it. I think Stephen Ambrose said that was the case.)

And I wish you all would stop referring to Matt LeBlanc as a monkey.

Posted by: scott h. at June 21, 2003 at 06:34 AM

Are you kidding about band of brothers?! He was perfect casting! The character (Lt. Sobel) was supposed to be one of those weak assholes that gets a little taste of power and goes nuts with it. Scwhimmer was perfect to play a power-mad weasel - the type of guy where you would love to kick his ass ... but you can't because he outranks you. The character was NOT supposed to be like the sarge in FMJ.

Posted by: Bill at June 21, 2003 at 07:25 AM

Bill,

I agree 100%. Ambrose's book's characterization of Sobel made Schwimmer an inspired choice. Both men are incredibly unlikable.

If socialists ever did take over completely in the USA, we'd have to deal daily with Sobel/Schwimmer-types making decisions for us. No thanks.

Posted by: JDB at June 21, 2003 at 10:31 AM

"Then an African-American student asks if he could play the first black character on "Friends." "I could deliver your newspaper or something," the student says, to raucous laughter."

AHAHAH what a zinger, it would have been brilliant to see Schwimmers face after that

Posted by: Chris Rice at June 21, 2003 at 03:54 PM

Not sure if this is mentioned in the Chicago Tribune article quoted... Schwimmer's current gig here in Chicago is director and co-author of "Race: How Blacks and Whites Feel About the American Obsession" at Lookingglass Theatre Company. Based on a book by Studs Terkel, of course. Even the ultra-hip and generally liberal Chicago _Reader_ couldn't give this exercise in misery chiseling a favorable review. "...48 hours after opening night, in the heart of the... tourist district, on the very day a full length profile of Schwimmer appeared in the _Tribune_, there were quite a few empty seats."

Posted by: Rich Rostrom at June 21, 2003 at 08:49 PM

Wait a minute, Chomsky isn't a comedian?

Schwimmer is a comedian?

Boy am I mixed up.

Posted by: ZsaZsa at June 22, 2003 at 10:08 PM