May 23, 2003

NOW WITH MORE FIBER

The UN is back, and it's better than ever!

The new UN Security Council resolution on Iraq approved today showed the world body "is back", French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin said.

Speaking on state-run France Inter radio before the vote, he said: "We can consider that the UN is back, and at bottom that is now the key issue: to make sure that the UN can resume its place" in the handling of the Iraq crisis.

"We are convinced that the UN alone is capable of bringing its legitimacy, experience and effectiveness on the ground," he noted.

Dominique should have expressed these noble thoughts in verse:

Dominique de Villepin, the French Foreign Minister, has written an 800-page book about poetry, including examples of his own work.

Here is an extract from his preface: "This eulogy owes nothing to artifice or chance. It has ripened inside me since childhood. From the bottom of my pockets, stuck to the back of my smock, hidden in the corner of abacuses, poetry gushed out "

Maybe not. Smock-wearing poem gusher.

Posted by Tim Blair at May 23, 2003 01:05 PM
Comments

"It has ripened inside me since childhood"? Explains the stench, Dom. And what's this about wearing a smock? Dude, way to fight those tired stereotypes about French guys.

Posted by: Jackie D at May 24, 2003 at 03:14 AM

Why does poetry stick to the back of his smock? What's he been using that smock for? Did the gushing precede the sticking?

I prefer Proust's madeleine. Tasty and tasteful.

Posted by: Joanne Jacobs at May 24, 2003 at 04:16 AM

Who is this woman --
Dominique de Villepin?
Oh! He is a man?

Posted by: RJT at May 24, 2003 at 04:50 AM

While the poetry angle is hilarious, I think the real howler is the line:

". . . the UN alone is capable of bringing its legitimacy, experience and effectiveness on the ground"

Legitimacy ?
Experience ?!
Effectiveness ?!!!!

Posted by: Paul Stoufflet at May 24, 2003 at 05:20 AM

de Villepin's got tickets on himself...the UN's cactus.

Posted by: feste at May 24, 2003 at 09:58 AM

One wonders why the male of the species is so intolerant and vitriolic

Posted by: Niall at May 24, 2003 at 10:44 AM

"hidden in the corner of abacuses, poetry gushed out"

Abacuses? The corner of abacuses? Did something get munged in translation here? Maybe French abacuses are different than Chinese ones, but all the abacuses I've ever seen consisted of an open wooden frame with rows of beads strung on wires. Not exactly the best of hiding places compared to say, the corner of the garage, the corner of the attic or even the corner of the kitchen drawer with all the junk in it.

In the history of the solar system, has anyone ever said to themself "Hmmm, I need to hide this object. I know, I'll stash it in the corner of the abacus!".

Tell me the French aren't weird.

Posted by: SteveS at May 24, 2003 at 12:18 PM

>One wonders why the male of the species is so intolerant and vitriolic

I hate to pick nits, but isn't your question judgemental, intolerant and sexist?

Posted by: feste at May 25, 2003 at 08:38 AM

I for one was driven to poetry:

Monsieur de Villepin
   reads all the poetry he can
And though he got stomped on by Powell
   He didn't write Howl

http://www.clicknation.com/snoof/archives/000130.html

Posted by: Campbell at May 27, 2003 at 04:20 AM