April 26, 2003

THE DAILY Telegraph's David Penberthy

THE DAILY Telegraph's David Penberthy becomes the first Australian* journalist to use the phrases "stuttering alcoholic dwarf" and "blistering wedgie" in the same column:

We had some sensational government-sponsored misfits in our street.

The most spectacular was a stuttering alcoholic dwarf who every day would walk though the park to buy an armful of longnecks from the local and on one occasion became so enraged while drunkenly trying to build a rabbit hutch for his kids in the front yard that he threw a hammer through his own front window ...

To the adage about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps we can add: and Canberra will stand behind you giving you a blistering wedgie.

Can any other local match Penbo's achievement? Will any dare try?

* Several international writers have accomplished this feat, including William Shakespeare ("If you wedgie us, do we not blister?" - The Stuttering Alcoholic Dwarf of Venice, act III, scene I) and Robert Fisk ("My blistering wedgie is a symbol of this filthy war ... if I was a stuttering alcoholic dwarf, I would have attacked Robert Fisk").

(Via Peter Kerr)

Posted by Tim Blair at April 26, 2003 05:06 PM